Is it something that i should keep to myself in the future?

[g84]

I have made a thread concerning this general topic before (too many times lol), i apologize for that. I was recently contemplating doing some things with a close guy friend, but i don't believe this would be a good idea for me in the end. I would like for this issue to stop worrying me so much.

 

What i wanted to ask is i were to start forming a relationship with a guy, should i disclose that i'm not experienced in the physical sense?

 

I think i've heard some people say that it's best to keep it personal, and that there is no need to really share that information. I also agree that it's something personal, but if i ever met someone, i would really want to be honest with that person at some point.

 

A guy's reaction to this will probably tell me about him - whether we are really compatible or not, whether he really accepts me the way i am. I wouldn't want to be with a guy who automatically thinks something negative of me based on this information. It's one of my biggest fears, though : [.

 

I don't hear so much negativity here on Ena, but in other places in the past, i've heard some guys saying some really hurtful and condescending things about inexperienced people. I have no idea how many people actually think that way, and i guess that's what really frightens me at times.

 

I know that if i ever met someone who thought that way, i wouldn't know how to handle it emotionally. I have developed a really bad fear now, and i don't know what i will do in the future. I know it sounds extreme, but i feel that i don't have much hope anymore.

 

So, i guess i'd like to have some kind of plan, as weird as it sounds. I want to have an idea of what i should do, if some day i meet someone that i can see myself being with.

What do you guys think?

Should i keep it completely private, or share it?

 

Also, what will give me an indication of a guy's reaction...how can i know if i'm dealing with someone who's going to put me down for it, or think less of me? Is that possible?

I want to put these worries to rest, more than anything; I appreciate your help.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

The answer to this question, in my mind, has several parts: 1) If you are fooling around with the guy but haven't been together long and not in an official relationship then don't tell him. 2) If you are not official with a guy and you plan on having sexual intercourse with him then for your own physical comfort it would be best to tell him so that he just doesn't ram it in and hurt you. Just guard your heart and make this about you not about him..in other words, don't make it seem like he is special, don't make a big deal out of it..protect yourself not only physically but emotionally. There are so many women out there who will have sex with anyone so men have gotten used to that and that is why they turn up their noses at a woman who doesn't have experience. If a guy is not your boyfriend and hasn't set up an emotional bond with you then don't trust him regarding your inexperience status. 3) If you are planning on waiting to have sexual intercourse when you are in a committed relationship and you are confident the guy really cares about you then tell him that you are inexperienced..both to protect yourself physically as well as in the spirit of openness that should be between two people in a relationship. Basically, the bottom line is that this information should not be disclosed until you are ready to have sexual intercourse with the guy..and the manner in which you disclose it should be dependent on how emotionally close you are to the guy.

[pinkelephant]

There are guys who would treasure you and love you and appreciate that you ARE inexperience. I have a lot of guy friends, I would know. Trust me. Lol. The only ones that freak out are the ones whose view of sex differs from yours (I'm assuming this is all by choice).

 

 

For what it's worth. I'd love to be in your shoes and be a virgin, but I can't take it back. You have the option to either stay a virgin or NOT be a virgin. For girls like me, we have no choice. We already made our beds and now have to lay in it. This is something to be proud of, not something to leave you feeling ashamed.

[JeckyllNHyde]

I think anything of a sexual nature should mostly be kept private in the beginning. I didn't openly discuss anything with my current bf when we began getting to know each other. He did try to fish some info from me about my sexual side (this was before we kissed even but where getting to that point). And yea, I did give out some info but kept it very short and sweet.

 

I think he had the idea that I was a virgin b/c of that though. But it wasn't a bad thing at all.

 

Most guys like a girl who's not very sexually experience, as long as she does like having sex or will grow to like it/try new things over time. Or better yet, if you have chemistry and see eye to eye the physical side there should be nooo problem.

 

A guy who's turned off right away probably isn't worth your time in my experience.

 

I know plenty of guys who are in serious relationships with girls who where virgins when they met.

 

I hate it when a guy says "oh, I like someone who loves sex as much as I do and is great in bed!" Anyone can be good in bed if they want IMO. Usually you'll learn things along the way. Everyone does.

I remember being so afraid to try new positions for instance since they all seemed "complicated" and like they'd make me seem rubbish in bed. That stage passed though with experience slowly.

[catfeeder]

You're wise to tell him, it's just not first-date conversation.

[KG]

"take me slowly, I'm new at this."

[Zerohero]

Jesus, we need more females like yourself. Your open to learning, and you havent been around like every other chick has.

 

Anyway, yea, no need to say anything until you guys are getting that serious.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Don't tell him right off the bat. Wait for you two to become in a serious and trusting relationship and then tell him that you're inexperienced. Most guys would love that.