justkeepon Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 I've been seeing this one woman for about two months. We both attend the same college. We've hung out a few times and got to know each other somewhat. Last night was the most recent time we spent together.. she called me to ask if both of us can hang out.. I invited her over and we watched a movie. We both sat on my bed, but we were about two feet apart from each other (her purse was separating us), as opposing to sitting right next to each other. I thought about moving closer to her, but I was inconclusive of how she would react. Through my intuition I'm trying to figure out if she is truly interested in me (as in, if she is in love with me.. or if she will eventually find a way deep inside her to fall in love with me), and I am unsure, at the moment. Women can be tricky sometimes. Do any of you have any ideas of what the scenario is, and any suggestions of what I should/shouldn't do in regards of me trying to get officially get with her? Thank you Link to comment
DadaJones Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Withdraw just alittle bit...then ask her out on a real date...nothing too spectaclar but not watching TV at your place...and kiss her good night. And you are in. Link to comment
Captain Obvious Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Few compliments, be nice, get close and the moment will come! GL! Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Next time you are out, take her hand while you're walking and be a little bit more affectionate if you feel that she's open to it. Although I'm not quite sure why she put her purse between you. I know I was "seeing" a guy and I was frustrated that he wasn't making a move and would sit far away from me on the couch and not do anything. I just came to the conclusion that he wasn't interested, so you don't want that to happen. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Oh, and it's too soon to be in love. You're just getting to know each other at this point. Link to comment
justkeepon Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 Oh, and it's too soon to be in love. You're just getting to know each other at this point. I see, it's likely too soon for us to be in love. I'll wait until we get to know each other better until I decide if I should make a move towards her, such as attempting to holding her hand as a sign of affection. Link to comment
Anyway Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Huh? She has been seeing for two months, she called you because she wanted to hang out and she sat on your bed for watching movies? Dude, she's either into you and waiting for a move or she's already your best friend. I doubt the latter, it usually takes longer - especially if girls are involved. In my opinion you're overthinking things. Just assume that she's attracted to you and make a move. This way you'll get your answer for sure. I rather get rejected than regretting not trying. Link to comment
justkeepon Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 Hmmmm.... now I'm sort of skeptical. We both are "friends" on MySpace, and about an hour ago today she updated her status which says "I have him all to myself tonight!" with a "flirty" mood. That suggests to me that she is seeing another guy as her love interest. That has totally ruined my mood. Now I feel down in the dumps . Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 hm..... i don't know - has she ever talked about this other guy with you? i wonder if you are 'friendzoned' or what is happening. personally, i think a few drinks make it easier to make a move - hold her hand, give her a little kiss, i don't know. that's tough about her posting on myspace. ick. Link to comment
justkeepon Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 hm..... i don't know - has she ever talked about this other guy with you? i wonder if you are 'friendzoned' or what is happening. personally, i think a few drinks make it easier to make a move - hold her hand, give her a little kiss, i don't know. that's tough about her posting on myspace. ick. We seem to think similarly.. yeah, I'm getting the hint that I am being friendzoned. If that in fact is the case, then I'm most definitely unwilling to be that "person" for her. talking to myself Why oh why???? Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 hm. maybe the next time you see her, you can casually ask her, in a friend sort of way, if she has a special dude in her life. see what she says. Link to comment
justkeepon Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 hm. maybe the next time you see her, you can casually ask her, in a friend sort of way, if she has a special dude in her life. see what she says. Yeah, I feel that it would be appropriate for me to find out directly from her. I just hope I have the courage to ask her.. heh. Link to comment
glegend Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Bro I say make a move. See what happens. If it leads anywhere then your golden. If it doesn't move on. You don't want to end up in a predicament that I was in, getting mixed signals and then getting chicken when trying to ask her out. To chill was fine, but a date was something else. Link to comment
DadaJones Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Fear not mortal you are in the game. Don't ask her what her situation is...its irrelevant...where is the fun in that...she wants you to earn it anyway...this is a test...now is not the time to get rattled in the pocket...create some space...focus on justkeepon for a few days... Link to comment
DadaJones Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 ...especially no texting, emails, or myspace crap...create space...physical, digital, analog, acoustic space. Link to comment
justkeepon Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 Fear not mortal you are in the game. Don't ask her what her situation is...its irrelevant...where is the fun in that...she wants you to earn it anyway...this is a test...now is not the time to get rattled in the pocket...create some space...focus on justkeepon for a few days... ...especially no texting, emails, or myspace crap...create space...physical, digital, analog, acoustic space. What exactly do you mean by "This is a test"? Are you saying that she is testing me? And about the "rattled in the pocket" part, are you saying that it's not worth spending money to take her out on a date (as an example) right now? What is the point of taking a break as opposed to attempting to figure things out asap? Note: I'm not intending to sound sarcastic if it sounds like it, since this is on paper, as opposed to talking to you in person. Thank you. Link to comment
DadaJones Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 "Rattled in the pocket" is a football analogy...i thought seattle was a big football town...it means stay poised...relaxed...pressuring her to clarify things will only clarify one thing...you won't be dating her. Attraction grows in space...now go no contact...the great guy justkeepon is can't be realized until you are not there...take a break from her...allow things to rezero a tad...she's expecting you to pressure her...by not doing it you'll begin to get alittle control back...which as of now she decides 100% the nature of the relationship. Link to comment
justkeepon Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 I sort of see what you mean.. gain a little control back. Yeah, if I am direct with her she likely will cut me off. Why does getting with women seem so complex.. sheeesh... I shall take a break from her. It's just that I have so much feelings for her that it's mentally difficult for me to take a break from her.. heh. Aight. "Rattled in the pocket" is a football analogy...i thought seattle was a big football town...it means stay poised...relaxed...pressuring her to clarify things will only clarify one thing...you won't be dating her. Attraction grows in space...now go no contact...the great guy justkeepon is can't be realized until you are not there...take a break from her...allow things to rezero a tad...she's expecting you to pressure her...by not doing it you'll begin to get alittle control back...which as of now she decides 100% the nature of the relationship. Link to comment
DadaJones Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Just remember the idea isn't to convince her to go out with you...its to draw a circle around her so she is drawn to you. And i don't mean doing anything deceitful...its that women want to date a guy who isn't needy. Link to comment
justkeepon Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 Just remember the idea isn't to convince her to go out with you...its to draw a circle around her so she is drawn to you. And i don't mean doing anything deceitful...its that women want to date a guy who isn't needy. That is a good point that women want to date a guy who isn't needy.. heh. I am constantly learning new things about the dating scene. Talking to myself ---> But I've always been a really chill dude most of my life that I'm not accustomed to dealing with and noticing the many different personality traits of various people, particularly when it comes to dating. I wish everyone would think similar to me.. heh. Link to comment
justkeepon Posted October 31, 2009 Author Share Posted October 31, 2009 Update: Hmmmm... I just called her a few minutes ago to see if the both of us can hang out tonight, perhaps to play bowling. Her response is that she has too much homework to do tonight... then she went on to say that she wouldn't be available this weekend because she must prepare for a test on Monday. I'm not the buying the "homework on Friday" excuse.. I believe that is her way of saying that she does not want to hang out with me, most likely because she wants and/or intends to hang out with someone else. Initially I thought we were clicking well, until it kinda felt like she was playing games with me. What do you think is going on? Am I on the right track? I'd hate to move on, because of how much I feel towards her, at this moment in time.... Link to comment
DadaJones Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 You pulled the trigger too soon...now you need to create even more space...the home work thing is an excuse...but don't believe the myspace (which you shouldn't have even been checking) stuff...she put it out there alittle too obvious...does she ever innitate communication with you? How often? Link to comment
justkeepon Posted October 31, 2009 Author Share Posted October 31, 2009 You pulled the trigger too soon...now you need to create even more space...the home work thing is an excuse...but don't believe the myspace (which you shouldn't have even been checking) stuff...she put it out there alittle too obvious...does she ever innitate communication with you? How often? .. too soon, eh?! Heh. Sheeesh. Well, yes, she initiates communication with me occasionally. The most recent time she has done so was last Saturday when she asked if she could come over.. before that it was probably about a week before that. By me calling her today my only intent was to simply hang out with her, just like any friend would do on a Friday.. that type of situation. Again, keep in mind I'm somewhat new to this dating/female relations stuff. I'm just so used to callin' people up and chillin' with people on a regular basis.. you know what I mean? I'm not saying I'm not impatient, but it took me a while to understand the whole "give each other space" concept. I hope I'm making sense.. heh.... Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 If you want to take her out on a date, you can't call her the day of. You're then assuming that she has no plans and she won't want to be so readily available for you. I know that if I was into a guy, I would be pretty mad if he waited until the last second to ask me to hang out instead of planning ahead. It makes it seem like she's a last resort, like other plans didn't work out or that you didn't really care if you saw her or not. Yes you can up a friend like that, but you don't want her to just be your friend. Link to comment
justkeepon Posted October 31, 2009 Author Share Posted October 31, 2009 If you want to take her out on a date, you can't call her the day of. You're then assuming that she has no plans and she won't want to be so readily available for you. I know that if I was into a guy, I would be pretty mad if he waited until the last second to ask me to hang out instead of planning ahead. It makes it seem like she's a last resort, like other plans didn't work out or that you didn't really care if you saw her or not. Yes you can up a friend like that, but you don't want her to just be your friend. Ahhhh, duh.. of course..! Yeah, I shouldn't just assume that she has no plans and whatnot.. heh. My mind is just totally going haywire.. eeeh... Link to comment
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