why does the ex call?

[kate111]

am I being too harsh or stubborn or something though?

[bamster]

no u r not at all.

 

It is the right thing to do, just let him know that u are not angry at him anymore and what happened is in the past but it would help if he stoped contacting you. Just be honest and tell him off in a nice manner.

I've sort of got the same situation. My girlfriend of 3 years left me for someone and didint think twice. I used to call her for the first month after breakup, in which time i didint know she had found someone else. Most of the time she would tell me to stop annoying her and forget about her. You know, the standard situation after being dumped, feeling terrible, sad, angry and the rest. Well it's been nearly 4 months since breakup and I have come along way, basically it still hurts but I've learned to deal with the situation and look after myself now. She has contacted me twice once about a month ago and she actually sent a text message today saying What's up and how are u? I havent replied and probably wont. I don't know why she is still contacting me, the last time we spoke she said that she had broken up with the new guy but I told her that I really don't care anymore. Anyway I'm hoping that she will slowly stop contact alltogether. If not, then maybe i'll give her a call and gently tell her to stop contacting.

 

My opinion in my case is that she probably still has feelings for me and in some way is trying not to lose contact with me just in case we can maybe meet but in the near future (she said she wants to meet with me but i said forget it). She is probably feeling insecure now that things with the new guy I was dumped for turned bad and maybe she hopes that at some point she could have me in her life. Honestly I still care for her and would maybe consider getting back had she not dunped me for someone else and lied to me for a whole month. Now though I have to put myself first and protect myself. I am a believer that if the glass breaks it can never be put together. I believe that if I got back with her I would be in serious risk of getting hurt once again and I could not handle it again. Thats why I'm steering clear and looking for new things in life.

You should do the same, U already have someone u love, so stop wondering why the ex calls and tell him off and get on with your new relationship. It's not productive to sit and wonder all the time. I might be wrong, but the fact that u are on this board might mean that u still have feeling for him, even though u have said otherwise. It's ok to do so. U can never forget the good times even after things have gone really bad, its in our nature to be curious and retain feeling for past loves. The best thing is to put all your energy into your new relationship and stop wondering what the ex is thinking.

Cheers

[Nooxie]

Ugggghhh! My ex called again to tell me that he had some papers to sign ... He was being all nice and sweet.

 

He said he finally got the two papers that I needed to sign in order to get my taxes approved. I told him, he could either mail them to me, or give them to my friend John. Well once I said that, his immediate reaction was shock, he starts to choke up on his words, and and then he makes the comment,

 

"Well I guess I can mail them to you if don't want to see me."

 

So immediatley, I start to choke up too...and I stuttured!!! Uggggh! What a retard I am! Anyway, I felt like he took that as an insult, so to be nice, I told him that I didn't care, and that he could get the forms to me however he wanted. Then I told him I had to go, and hung up the phone.

 

Why the heck would he want to see me???!!! He broke up with me 1 month and 1/2 ago! What the heck??? If your going to leave, then leave!

 

Ugghh..I don't even know why I am so hell bent on this guy either? He was always such an arragont a-hole to me, and always made me feel sooooo small! I put up with it for 2.5 years. I just want to get over this pain, and MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE.

 

But he thinks we're like best friends now, cause we've talked on the phone twice (about my taxes).

 

I'm so frusterated...I feel like every time I talk to him, it sets me back like a month of pain and hurt.

[faxshadow]

I was wonderin about the meet up thing too. My ex wants to meet up, and I was the one dumped. I've read through the negative and positive reasons for the ex calling you, but are there any different reasons for them wanting to meet up? And more to the point, should I meet up? I know I'm risking a lot, but I'm really interested to see what she wants, and don't want to be left wondering. I dont want to take her back or anything, I guess I'm just curious. Should I go expecting the worse and see what happens, or just leave it?

[liveandlearn]

kate111 -

 

I say tell your ex to not call cause you're no longer interested. i don't think you should feel bad about being rude. The pain you went through is probably not as bad as if you just politely told him to not call you anymore. I don't think you are being harsh or stubborn by doing that. I'd say it's a good way to protect yourself from more confusion.

 

You have a new relationship that you can put your energy into.

 

faxshadow -

 

I don't know if you will ever find out the real reason why they call and ask to meet up. I'd say meet her if you are emotionally ready. If you are, you could maybe ask why. otherwise you might be in for some set back. I thought I was, but after talking for a little while I knew I wasn't. She kept asking questions that I wasn't ready to answer. I just had to tell her I wasn't ready to be her friend. I definitely went back in to a state of confusion. Now I wish I didn't talk to her for that long, because I never found out the real reason why she wanted to talk. I was doing a lot better when I didn't know and had a mind set that I might never find out the reason for the talk. It just got me trying to figure out what her real intentions were.

[blahsquared]

Bump! Interesting thread.

[hater13]

i know for a fact that if my ex ever does contact me again it will be because he misses me and wants to reconcile.

 

he insisted on being friends before because he couldn't "let go" he was always more attached to be throughout our relationship, then I was to him.

 

And him being a sensitive guy..who is VERY commited...hmmmm he stopped contacting me after I told him that I couldn't get over him if we spoke. He knows that the only reason he should ever contact me is if he REALLY does want to reconcile. otherwise he can go F*** off

[hater13]

keep in mind it has only been 4 weeks and 2.5ish weeks of nc