Sharing Bed with Grown Son

[RougeKali823]

Its odd but not freaky. Maybe he's just a mama's boy. I wouldn't naturally suspect anything wrong. Also, a 7 year old in bed with his mom is not odd to me. Family dynamics aren't universal.

[prettymommy]

Its odd but not freaky. Maybe he's just a mama's boy. I wouldn't naturally suspect anything wrong. Also, a 7 year old in bed with his mom is not odd to me. Family dynamics aren't universal.

 

So if the same guy is 40 and is still sharing his bed with his 65 year old mother everytime she comes to visit, despite alternate sleeping arrangements being available, nothing about that strikes you as "strange"?

 

This is not a question of a young child sharing a bed with his mother or father...

 

I understand the practice of children sleeping with their parents- occassionally.

I understand the practice of teenagers (11-19) sleeping with their mother or father- occassionally.

I even understand a mother and her grown daughter sharing a bed....

 

There is something inherently STRANGE to me that a grown MAN in his 30's or 40's would CHOOSE to sleep with his mother when alternate sleeping arrangements are available.

 

It just seems, well, emmasculating.

 

Is there any woman out there that would feel comfortable with her boyfriend or husband sharing a bed with his mother and sleeping with her?

 

To me... it muddles personal boundaries that I think should be established between parents and children (if nothing more, to renforce boundaries of respect and privacy that I think should exist between parents and their grown children).

 

I don't know. It could just be my upbringing. My parents are conservatives from the upper Midwest. So maybe that's where my revulsion to this comes from....

[prettymommy]

It all depends on the culture.

 

In my Italian family, my 25 year old cousin sleeps with my 85 year old grandma. When my grandma was a girl, she and her siblings shared a big bed because they were poor (3 people per bed). It's not that common in America, from what I know, but some people have different ways of living. Doesn't really make it wrong.

 

I can appreciate that.

 

Heck- I had to share a bed with my brother for a number of years when I was a child b/c we were poor too, there was only one bedroom for the two of us, and my parents could only afford one bed, at the time. When we were 7 or 8 we finally got our own beds, and a year or so later, our own bedrooms. So I can understand where personal circumstances would dictate that.

 

I think the difference here is "choice" though....

 

For example, if my bro I were to share a bed now when we go to visit one another, despite there being other means of alternative sleeping available, wouldn't that strike you as strange? Two grown, opposite sex siblings, sharing a bed? By choice?

 

What if I, as a grown woman in my 30's, CHOSE to sleep with my father in the same bed, despite their being alternative sleeping options available? Wouldn't that strike you as strange? Maybe not if it were my mother, but with my father.... ?

 

And that's what I don't get with this guy? He is not poor by and stretch of immagination; he is actually quite successful. There are alternative sleeping options at his home. Yet he and his mother "CHOOSE" to sleep together. They are not foreign and are as American as they come.....

 

So I don't get it. For me, it gets to boundaries between the sexes and boundaries in parent/child relationships...

 

Again, may be my conservative midwest upbringing. Just something I have never witnessed before in past relationships with other men, and curious if it was a common practice of bachelor's in their 30's and 40's, or what not...

[SnowFox]

It sounds very unusual to me. I've never heard of a grown man that age choosing to share a bed with his mother.

[WomanWriter]

Yes, I was thinking it was just for convenience, but I agree that CHOOSING to sleep with his mother IS a bit strange and I would think it's weird too. If he can sleep somewhere else, why not? Even if he wanted his mom nearby to help, one of them could sleep on a cot or another bed in the same room...but choosing to share a bed is definitely odd.

[Perfect Dark]

Yes, I was thinking it was just for convenience, but I agree that CHOOSING to sleep with his mother IS a bit strange and I would think it's weird too. If he can sleep somewhere else, why not? Even if he wanted his mom nearby to help, one of them could sleep on a cot or another bed in the same room...but choosing to share a bed is definitely odd.

 

Yeah I agree, it would 100% be a dea breaker in a relationship for me. Makes me cringe.