tattoobunnie Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 That blasted song by Extreme, "There's a Hole in my heart, and it can only be filled by you..." came on the radio today following a subsequent number of songs all about breaking up. That Sirius commercial from back in the day was funny, where the girl thought a particular song that came on was fate, till a spokesperson corrected her. Though that cheesy song, does really represent how I feel about my recent ex. Really, more so, how I feel about myself. I have in the past year, experienced a very disappointing situation. From losing a baby, to breaking up with a man that promised forever but doing things behind my back, to moving back home, to finding new love with a man with as many issues as I do, and him finally saying to me that he never wants to get married again. This year has changed me. Professionally, I have excelled. Personally, the hope and optimism I had always been known for, has been challenged, and pummeled, and is now pretty non-existent. Every morning, getting out of bed for the past two months has been challenging for me. I am heart-broken and lost. I'm 31, and all the ideas and dreams I have had for myself have been replaced by the realization that I have chosen so poorly in whom I date. It used to be so easy for me to pick myself up, dust myself off, and start over. Now, I'm so beat up. I am defeated emotionally that it has taken over my physical presence in life. I really feel like giving up...that marriage and family will not happen for me. They say to not give up hope, but with going strong for so long, and then slapped with the reality of my situation, maybe my hopes have been too high. That I am not meant to be lucky in love. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Dont give up! You are only thirty one, all these experiences are horrible but they've made you YOU, and made you stronger. You CAN find a new guy and start out again. Link to comment
Celestialagape54 Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Dont give up! You are only thirty one, all these experiences are horrible but they've made you YOU, and made you stronger. You CAN find a new guy and start out again. Agreed!! Love is posible at any age, any time! Don't give up the moment you do that's when you have accepted defeat. Link to comment
tattoobunnie Posted October 12, 2009 Author Share Posted October 12, 2009 I'm already defeated. I know I can find love again, but it seems like smoke and mirrors...My ex and I still love each other. Doesn't matter...we're not together. I can get up, move forward, start over, and find myself back to square one, on my own. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 But you might not. No one knows what the future holds. Yes you could get hurt again, but you might not. Link to comment
Talus Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 When you become happy with yourself, comfortable being alone and accepting of the situation; being back at square one isn't such a bad thing. You've made bad choices, but in doing so, you've learnt that there are bad choices and now maybe you'll be able to spot one when it comes along next. 31 is still young. You have a hell of a lot to offer and one day you'll meet someone who's going to appreciate the hell out of you. But why rush? Often what you want now, is a lot different to what you want in a few years. So maybe in a few years you'll meet someone else and begin a future, you'll look back and shudder at the thought of having started a life with one of these other guys. Link to comment
tattoobunnie Posted October 12, 2009 Author Share Posted October 12, 2009 I have a condition...I actually can't wait very long to have children. My prospects on that happening with the next few years, pretty bleak. What I have wanted in my youth and over the years has changed. But considering I've been through plenty of battles, relationships, I still will want the same things, a family...that won't change. I have been alone many years of my life, and happy, very happy. So, that's why I'm writing here...maybe it's time to give up the dream that my life will be shared with a partner. Link to comment
lunatic Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Dont give up! One never knows where we will be in a year. I met the woman I would marry two years ago and we had a child in June. I thought for the longest time I would be single for the rest of my life and now I am a happily married man/father. Seriously, life will throw you curve balls at times but, in the scope of things all work out for the best in the end. Don't give up! Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Could you adopt? Or have a child alone? Link to comment
tattoobunnie Posted October 12, 2009 Author Share Posted October 12, 2009 Yes...I could adopt or get knocked up by a stranger. Pillage some village, etc. My vent here is losing the ability of dreaming bigger. Dreams of things I want becoming a reality. The feeling of really catching a break. My negativity is just from getting beat up. I've still recovering from getting chewed up & spit out. It's got me down. Always never dwelled, moped, always looking forward. This time, it's affecting everything about me. Hence...they call it a pity party that's been going a month & a half strong. HA! Congrats Hubman on the bambino! That's awesome. Link to comment
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