alice1485 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 So my bf told me he's going home to visit his parents next weekend and he's going to a party with a bunch of his high school friends and that his high school girlfriend might be there. This will be the first time he will see her since we started dating (we've been dating for about 2 years). I know I have nothing to worry about, but I can't help freaking out that he'll see her and those old feelings will come back...it's so stupid. I hate that i'm like this. Someone talk some sense into me. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Relax. I know how you feel right now, because any person would wonder what ifs. Please realize that your boyfriend is with you for a reason. Nothing in life is guaranteed. You have to grasp what you have at the moment, and let time take it's course. If you spend so much time worrying about what may happen, you will lose track of everything else. Link to comment
Oink.Oink Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 well girl i know how you feel i am very jelous and i cant help but be untrusting me and my bf have been together for 4 years i should trust him but the fact that he is a man makes it hard. i think if u tell him how you feel about this and explain where your coming from he can supply you with some comfort and relief that he is not going to do anything. Link to comment
Ihavetissues Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 You've been together for two years that must mean you have a good relationship, and they is a reason they split up in the first place and more importantly his with you now. I know I would be feeling exactly the same bout it all but let him go see his family and friends and enjoy himself. And just make sure you keep busy and go out with your friends etc!! have you told him how you feel?!! can you?!!! Link to comment
alice1485 Posted October 2, 2009 Author Share Posted October 2, 2009 oh gosh. he knows how jealous i am. it's reached the point where i dont even want to hear him talk about his exes. im pretty crazy. he reassures me but i still freak out. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 oh gosh. he knows how jealous i am. it's reached the point where i dont even want to hear him talk about his exes. im pretty crazy. he reassures me but i still freak out. I am really jealous too, it got to a point where I started getting annoyed myself. You have to learn to do this on your own. No one can help you but yourself. I'm slowly getting better at this, but it's not easy. I tell myself that my boyfriend loves me, and is with me for a reason. If anything I cannot control his feelings, because he is his own person. However, if your insecurities stems from body images and things like that, you can make a difference. I realized that I was so miserable and I really wanted to lose weight, so I vowed to change for me. If there is something that you don't like about yourself and you feel you can change it, then I strongly recommend that you do. Jealousy is not healthy, and it can really eat away at you. I know, from experience. Link to comment
Oink.Oink Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 oh gosh. he knows how jealous i am. it's reached the point where i dont even want to hear him talk about his exes. im pretty crazy. he reassures me but i still freak out. the only real thing you can do is trust him it sounds like you dont really have a choice try explaining how it makes you feel to him when these kind of things happen and why they set you off the way they do i did that to my man and now we have a good thing going he does not even see girls that i dont feel comfortable with him seeing anymore. just try getting it through his head im crazy when it comes to that to but this worked for me. Link to comment
Ihavetissues Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Jealousy is not healthy, and it can really eat away at you. I know, from experience. Jealousy is a killing i hate being it so much, I also get annoyed at myself for doing it but sometimes I cant control it. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Jealousy is not healthy, and it can really eat away at you. I know, from experience. Jealousy is a killing i hate being it so much, I also get annoyed at myself for doing it but sometimes I cant control it. I know what you mean, but it's something that we all have to learn to control. It's not easy, but it is doable. You're not alone on this matter, I'm still fighting the inner demons. link removed Link to comment
eleanorrigby1 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 one question, how come you arent going with him? you have been together for two years? secondly I know exactly how you feel! my god I have been ridiculously stupidly jealous of one ex of my fellas in particular he was with her for two years and she broke his heart twice, she was his first love, his first time, his first everything and he adored her and I HATE her!! when we first met he was friends with her dad and used to go around to their house all the time, It used to drive me mad. We have been together for years now and have a baby and he doesnt speak to his exes dad anymore, they fell out because he was mean about and to me! I can't really offer any words of wisdom honey, just that i know how you feel and that if you can, arrange a big girly night out so you can be distracted the night that he is at the party x Link to comment
alice1485 Posted October 2, 2009 Author Share Posted October 2, 2009 one question, how come you arent going with him? you have been together for two years? i dont know. He didn't ask me. And I dont want to invite myself. Plus, I don't think it's right of me to go JUST because i'm jealous. And plus plus, i dont want to meet/see his ex. And finally, i dont think he wants his ex to see me. too many feelings flying around. and the possibility for awkwardness is way too high. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 i dont know. He didn't ask me. And I dont want to invite myself. Plus, I don't think it's right of me to go JUST because i'm jealous. And plus plus, i dont want to meet/see his ex. And finally, i dont think he wants his ex to see me. too many feelings flying around. and the possibility for awkwardness is way too high. Well it's not even guaranteed that she will be there. I agree that you shouldn't just invite yourself. It may be too awkward for you as well. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 I'll approach this from a different perspective. OK, let's say he does meet her, talk to her, and fall back in love. Think it through. What's going to happen to you? You might hurt for a little while, but you will recover. I think jealousy stems from one's own lack of confidence that you will be able to even deal with the worst. You can. Link to comment
alice1485 Posted October 2, 2009 Author Share Posted October 2, 2009 oh my gosh. if that happens, ill cut his balls off. that will be my recovery. lol Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 oh my gosh. if that happens, ill cut his balls off. that will be my recovery. lol Well, the point is that you won't die. You will bounce back and recover (or re-cleave as it were). Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 In some ways it's hard to trust someone when you have issues with jealousy unless you see them proving constantly that they are someone you can trust. He will go away, he may or may not see this girl, he will not cheat on you, he will come home. And every time this happens, you should hopefully see that you can trust him If he ever does cheat on you then yes, thats awful. But! The way I learned to look at it is like this: if he does cheat on you, it's out of your control. If he is likely to then it could be anyone, anytime, so why be stressed out about this one event? If it happens then you'll have to deal with it, but there's no point worrying about something that you have no control over happening. Cross that bridge if you ever have to come to it, not before Link to comment
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