blowing small things out of proportion

[melatonin]

Hi all,

 

I've been with my current girlfriend for about 4 months now, but in the last couple of weeks something palpable has changed within me, and I'm not sure what.

 

Until then, it's been the best relationship I've had. We're so comfortable together, and can talk about anything which has made 'taking things further' feel so much more natural than ever before.

 

However, I've found myself resenting small things recently.. for instance yesterday she got a new phone, and it's been niggling at me how much she uses it. Also I've felt myself being much more aware (and frankly jealous) of her talking to other guys.

 

For several weeks preceding these feelings, everything was utterly wonderful - I can't describe it. I felt totally in tune with her; I had no insecurities about how she felt about me or our relationship. It was fantastic.

 

Now though, I think I'm in a low self-esteem rut.. and it's affecting our relationship. We've talked about other things which are a strain, such as our friends influencing things, but I've skirted this particular issue because I'm a bit afraid of the 'no going back' factor. I feel that something this potentially fundamental may sow the seeds of the end, which I really don't want.

 

I'm moving in with my male friends in a couple of months and she'll be with her friends, so I think the lack of proximity (we're currently two rooms from each other in University halls) may help, but I'm not sure. What I do really feel though is that the problem is within me. I'm just at a loss as how to solve it.

 

Any thoughts?

[woobiegirl]

Hi melatonin...I like your name

 

First hand, it sounds like you have a great relationship with a special gal...congratulations! This is only my thought, I may be way off...I'm thinking what happens with new relationships (it's happened w/me) is that when you first meet and the chemistry is good, there is so much to learn about each other. During this transition, we take it in stride while keeping our regular identity, friends, activities and normal routine. As we get closer, bond more, spend more time together and begin to realize that this is very special and can lead to a serious relationship...different emotions and/or events come into play. We become more sensative as to what's said "reading into things or between the lines", body language, we begin to "wonder", analyze, maybe become a bit more overprotective, perhaps even become a bit anxious..."what if they don't care for me as much"... It changes from a more relaxed state to a more complex state. Not a bad thing...we just become more aware of our feelings and hope for the same in return.

 

Let it take it's natural course, you sound like you have a great positive outlook.

 

Good luck and take care!

Woobiegirl

[QTpie87]

hey how are you doing? well that was kind of a dumb question, sorry.

well i think that you need to talk to her about it, but not while you are annoyed 'cause that may turn into a worse thing . but while you are annoyed why don't you talk to one of your friends or family members about it. if you want you can always pm me and i'll talk to you. im sure anyone else here would too. well just make sure you get it off you chest and try to keep your self together-k- good luck.

love Qtpie87

[laurag78]

I think woobie girl is right. I think that you are just having a case of L-O-V-E.

Just go with the flow. You are in that akward stage in the relationship were you don't know exactly what the future holds. A little jealousy isn't always a bad thing, remember you are only human. I wish u luck. You'll see everything will work out and soon you will be feeling yourself again. Good luck!

[Stupid4Her]

Don't worry about it man. This sounds normal to me. It's normal to be worriwd about what your loved one is doing. In time you'll learn to let these little things go. Until then just don't drive yourself insane and keep things normal. If you get really concerned though, calmly tell her that you don't like that and you want her to lighten up a bit. The main thing is to not become posessive.