Help...might have to see ex in a few days...what to do?!

[dreamer888]

Hi. My ex and I broke up a whileback but we continued the "hook up" thing (unfortunately) for many months afterwards. He became very abusive to me and used me, but I just took it because i didn't want to lose him altogether.

To make a long story short...

About a month ago we got into a huge fight and he admitted some things to me that he had been keeping from me...or blatantly LYING about...said he had hooked up with two other girls while he and i were practically together and that he hooked up with them because he was mad that I was not hooking up with him for that short period of time (maybe a WEEK tops?!). All the while he was telling me he didn't need to hook up with anyone else if he had me...

He verbally abused me, said hateful things to me that he knew would cut deep, said he only talked to me at all for sex, said i was merely a sex object to him and had been for many months...etc...

 

Well, a week from today we will both be at a concert. now i know it may be unlikely that i'll see him, but then again there is a VERY good chance i will since we both hang out with the same people. what should i do? I have tried to stop hating him, but i continue to think about what he did to me and i just can't help it. i am a VERY forgiving person...he is not. he holds grudges. i have tried to contact him twice since we both got in that fight..about business/important stuff and he will not respond to anything...which i didn't expect him to. (he is very immature for his age, also...so that may be why this eats at me...he is four years my senior and acts younger than I do...). Anyway, i am very hurt by this but becoming civil with one another would give me closure. however, i know he is not going to do that.

 

what should i do? he told me that if he saw me in public he would act like he didn't know me.

 

also, i have one more question...a friend of mine told me yesterday that whenever they talked, all my ex said was how much he hated me...but he always came back to me...granted it was just for the physical aspect i do think...but it still hurts to imagine that he hated me all that time. I never hated him. i hated some things he did, but not him. i should ahve taken hints. i would make him brownies, cookies, anything to just see him smile...he'd get what he wanted from me and roll over and go to bed with no goodnight or anything.

 

i am still just very hurt when i think about this. i don't really have that urge to contact him anymore but it still hurts. i can't talk to any of my friends about this because they are tired of hearing about this "jerk" and how he treated me.

 

he made me feel completely worthless and feel like no man will ever want me or like me or love me again. what did i do wrong? he ahd a reputation of sleeping with practically any girl who'd give him attention before i came along, but he told me he'd changed and even when we weren't together, he told me he'd chagned and wanted me to believe that. why? he WAS still sleeping with any girl. i don't get it. i don't see how he could treat me like this after all i did try to do for him just to make him happy...

[waveseer]

The only thing you did wrong was not being true to yourself, I am guilty of this as well. The good news is that you can begin being true to yourself any time, like now!

[EmmyEm84]

I went thru this 2 weeks ago. My boyfriend and the girl he left me for showed up at a club for a concert I was at (a week after he left me after 6 years of being together) He pretty much ignored me but I wanted to see how he was so I tried to go up to him and say hi and he pretty much told me to get lost.

If I were you, when you see him just smile or wave and continue on with your night. Hang out with your friends, dont look at him. I wish that I would have done that instead of him completely humiliating me in front of my friends.

[catfeeder]

Smile, nod and walk forward without looking back.

 

In your corner.