24 years old. Never had a girlfried, never kissed a girl, never been on a date, still a virgin :(

[UltraGeek2000]

I'm in the same boat as the original poster. The thing that really hurts me is that I have very little confidence, and I have a hard time finding things to be confident about. I have very poor social skills, because I haven't spent much time developing them, because I gave up for several years of my life. I know that I'll never get anywhere with women if I don't develop my confidence first, but there are always things that knock my confidence back down. I don't know how to just feel good about myself regardless.

 

I do know that focusing on the meeting women part isn't getting me anywhere. It just makes me look desperate. So I want to find ways to be social overall, or find activities that will boost my confidence.

[Vman]

Dude, You aren't ugly at all. I mean you look normal.

 

Listen, I am no judge of how a guy looks, but as long as you are clean, and don't have an obvious oder, there is no reason you shouldn't be rolling in the babes.

 

I do kinda know how you feel though, with the crippling shyness, but that is something you just have to get over. Gimme a second here, because I am going to sound like a pig when I say this. But, pick out some girl you really aren't that attracted too, someone that seems nice, but isn't that pretty, and ask her out. Now, I am going to back away from the pig stuff and say, this isn't just trying to find someone to nail, but someone to have some fun with. If it does get hot and heavy, just be totally honest with her. Ask her to keep it quiet and tell her it's your first time. Most people don't want to humiliate you, and even if she does, don't worry, just find someone else.

 

Don't try to impress anyone, just be yourself. Like I said before, just be honest, if you are honest people will respond much better.

 

Also, be prepared to put yourself in some situations that may seem uncomfortable to you. When you do something with people, something that you might not really be interested in doing, just try to have fun, instead of hating it. For example: I hate clubbing, but my best friends love doing it on occasion. Instead of being a party pooper, I go with them, and through all the stupid yelling and too much alcohol, I have fun. I don't want to do it every night, but once or twice a month is ok. And for that, They will do stuff they don't really like with me, and they have fun too.

 

Now, I am going to make it clear, I don't want to advise you to do anything illegal. I do not smoke weed, but I have friends that do, and I refuse to participate. I have told them this and they won't do it around me. It hasn't hurt our relationship though, because I was honest with them, and didn't get down on them for it. If it was something like meth or something, then it would hurt our relationship. Just to make that clear.

 

Back to the shyness, before you do anything, think about what the worst thing that could happen. Then compare it to being alone forever. I guarantee that the worst thing that could really happen when you ask someone out, or make new friends, is nothing compared to being alone for the next sixty years.

[LightbulbSun]

There's nothing wrong with your looks, man. That girl was a b*tch, but not all girls are like that.

 

I think your problem is that you had someone else ask her out for you, which showed weakness. It doesn't excuse what she did, because that proves what kind of person she is, but you see what I mean.

 

And there are girls out there who dig skinny rocker dudes. I don't think you should cut your hair or shave off the facial hair, it looks good (saying as a straight male.) I think there are some girls who would agree with me on that.

 

I'm 26 and stuck in the same boat, so you've got 2 years before you're in my situation. Don't lose hope!

[Intense]

Looks may help but it ain't that big a deal. I know a guy who looks like an obese version of something that would live in a cave and gnaw at your bones. He still picks up women on a regular basis.

 

Wow. I actually kind of agree with this post. Haven't agreed with any of your other posts, but you have some good ideas in this one, especially #1 and #2. The trick it to stop seeing yourself as a Shy Nice Guy - In Woman, "Shy Nice Guy" usually translates to "Passive Doormat". So instead, call yourself a friendly introverted good guy. I think women like that kind of guy a lot better.

 

You are right. Good guy sounds better than nice guy, it is actually just as attractive as bad boy if played right.

 

There's nothing wrong with your looks, man. That girl was a b*tch, but not all girls are like that.

 

I think your problem is that you had someone else ask her out for you, which showed weakness. It doesn't excuse what she did, because that proves what kind of person she is, but you see what I mean.

 

That's the wrong mindset. It is never the girl's fault. Actually it is always your own fault, you just have to see what you did wrong. And yes, weakness was definitely shown here. You had someone else go ask her out for you.

[LightbulbSun]

That's the wrong mindset. It is never the girl's fault. Actually it is always your own fault, you just have to see what you did wrong. And yes, weakness was definitely shown here. You had someone else go ask her out for you.

 

No, women can be bad people, too. I don't know what rose tinted glasses you're wearing, but they're obstructing your vision.

 

Regardless, there's no excuse for what she did. He asked her nicely, and she should have been flattered. Instead, she acted like a total b*tch. It is her fault.

[Shinobie]

No, women can be bad people, too. I don't know what rose tinted glasses you're wearing, but they're obstructing your vision.

 

Regardless, there's no excuse for what she did. He asked her nicely, and she should have been flattered. Instead, she acted like a total b*tch. It is her fault.

 

I completely agree. Maybe it is awkward to have someone else ask out a girl for you but you should at least let them down gently. It seems as though now in this world nobody offers a shred of courtesy to one another. It definitely was her fault by treating him so badly.

[Belgian girl]

Really wondering how you look like.

And I want to let you know you could become very different. For example I felt in love with a guy who suits very much your describtions. Guess what ? He dumped me yesterday. He used to be very shy and insecure. I took away his virginity, he was at age 26 then, and now I am the one who is hurt and has been used by him.

[Belgian girl]

There's nothing wrong with your looks, man. That girl was a b*tch, but not all girls are like that.

 

I think your problem is that you had someone else ask her out for you, which showed weakness. It doesn't excuse what she did, because that proves what kind of person she is, but you see what I mean.

 

And there are girls out there who dig skinny rocker dudes. I don't think you should cut your hair or shave off the facial hair, it looks good (saying as a straight male.) I think there are some girls who would agree with me on that.

 

I'm 26 and stuck in the same boat, so you've got 2 years before you're in my situation. Don't lose hope!

 

Read my post above this one.

[Intense]

Eh, I think I was misunderstood. I don't view girls as perfect creatures, quite opposite actually. I've slept with so called 10's only to see their make up squeezed all over their face in the morning and hear them open their mouth and reveal an intelligence on a kindergarten level. Now I am not saying all 9's and 10's are unintelligent, I have met some really beautiful girls with a lot going on in their heads as well. The point is, they are just people, their * * * * stink like yours.

 

What I mean about the mindset that it is not her fault is that any girl can be picked up. If you fail, it is not because she is a * * * * * , which she may be or she might just have a really bad day. If she really is what you would call a * * * * * , let me tell you; even mean * * * * * es can be picked up. This mindset also prevents you from becoming a wife beater since you are always unaffected by the responses from women. I never get angry at girls any more if they flake on me, just answer with a smile "your loss" and move on to the next.

[LightbulbSun]

Read my post above this one.

 

I'm sorry that that happened to you, but that's more a reflection on who he is as a person rather than him being a 26 year old virgin.

[LightbulbSun]

Yeah, I understand that, man. Most of the time, the average girls have more attractive personalities than the 9's and 10's. Occasionally you run accross someone who's a complete package, but there are some shallow, vapid beauty queens out there.

[Belgian girl]

I'm sorry that that happened to you, but that's more a reflection on who he is as a person rather than him being a 26 year old virgin.

 

Yes, that's true. But also shows the insecure feelings are things that can leave very soon. And I agree with it that being a virgin has no negative meaning at all.

[AmericanPsycho]

Do you try going to parties? I'm not just the best at meeting girls, but I find it pretty easy to talk to them at parties--especially after I've had a few drinks! Alcohol does wonders for your confidence!

 

And I don't think your looks should be a problem at all. Lots of girls love that look, but of course others don't. Just focus your attention on the girls that appear to be into the same kind of stuff as you.

[danny30]

Batigoal,

 

You really have to get out there and try to meet people or you will end up like me who is 30 year old, still a virgin and never kiss a girl. I just stay home all the time and don't hang out with friends. I get nervous around women and never attempt to talk to them because I think of myself as someone who's boring and ugly. I'm currently on antidepressant. If you really want to turn into someone like me, continue wasting your time worrying and never doing. I only wish I can have all those years of youth back, I would totally do it all over again. You still have time. Good luck.

[jame_s]

The last girl I asked out humiliated me in front of her friends in college.

 

I didn't actually ask her out, lol. Was too shy to even tell her. My friend told her. Instead of just saying she wasn't interested she pretty much ripped me apart.

 

Haven't recovered from that, so really only 1 girl I've ever asked out lol

 

Problem is now I can't even approach women because I don't want to go through that again

 

What a (edit)...Sorry 'bout the language. Wasn't worth it anyway.

[LightbulbSun]

I'm just wondering if there are any updates from the OP? He never returned to this thread.

[shygal2008]

She was one woman..there are 1,0000,0000,000,000 more out there! Brush it off..i know its tough and just move on..you aren't bad looking at all according to the posters on here, so just work getting over your fears..not everyon sets out to humiliate men MOST GIRLS WOULDN'T do some positive self talk, put on something nice to wear (and that makes you smell good and pick another girl

[Nkaleidoscopic]

I think you're pretty cute. Someone I'd like to hang out with. You prolly just need to get over your shyness.

[Cognitive_Canine]

You're not a bad looking guy at all. But, it'd probably help you a lot if you cleaned up your look.

 

Honestly, you've only asked out one girl. One girl. That means you made one opportunity for yourself to get a date. The odds are against you if you just ask out and rely on one try.

[gsss124]

My advice, don't go for online dating sites. I'm pretty cute too and shy too. If you hit it off, go and meet immediately or cut off totally. This I say because of my idiotic case. Let me Explain. I am Indian and I met a Serbian woman online, she said she's shy too (liar! u will know soon). I did not go for the pic. She was not that pretty. My view is unconditional love. We learned each other's language for a month or so, then started talking. My bad luck, she once had been duped my a married Indian man. And, another badluck, she is my first girlfriend. And, she says I am her soulmate. Then, we had nice time, chatting, talking, webcam and even postal letters. We both wanted to meet each other badly. I gave her bangles, which she wore. She gave me a sticker which I knew she wanted me to put on my laptop, so I did and even on my guitar. Then I was in college. I had internet problems many times, so I bought a USB internet. We still chatted. But, then it looked like she was running from me, I was at 8 pm, she came at 9 next day, I came at 10, she came on 8 next day, at night that is. Later she even agreed to let me think of her as much as I can. Then, she stops sending letter. I wrote a letter half way and send it when I get her's. I waited to send it for 2 months. She seldom talked in between. Just e-mails now and then. But, I kept the faith. Then, I collected enough salary and told her that I have enough savings now. She says to come. I say that I want to spend more time with you and I missed her letters. She said "I didn't forget". And, again she doesn't spend much time with me. I felt dizzy, lost, confused and thought that for whom I am going so far, doesn't even talk to me. I imagined to meet her, but got a feeling that maybe she has a boyfriend. So, I got angry and removed all stickers and was ready to leave her. She comes online and I did last webcam session in confused state. I couldn't get angry at her. I said that I hated her for not being online. She had been sending me these pictures of places she visits. I ask her who she goes with, she says with her boyfriend. She had him for 6-7 months. All this time, she had romantic interactions with me. I feel angry and lost these days and get vomitish feeling thinking that I was here thinking of her and there she had another man, wearing my bangles. Yuk! I did like her, but never said so. But wanted to, but that was when she was having a boyfriend. I think I had some lapse of judgement. I have blocked her out now, I feel dizzy when thinking of her. She setup dreams with me. I wrote poems for her. She sent me Serbian movie CD and Language book for traveller. What was she thinking? I often cry now. I said that I'm her friend, and was infatuated. She says she's infatuated too. But then says she still feels for me. What is this? I get uneasy feeling sometimes and have dreams of similar things. Now, I have thrown all her letters and deleted all her e-mails and don't even remember the address now. So, I say, don't go for online dating sites and that too for someone far off. Your or even both peoples' brains will be cooked! Go for real people. I didn't and considered her more important than some girls hitting on me. It's quite painful.