over the knee spanking in school

[shoreline]

Hi everyone. I'm sure there are many of you who are reading of my wonderful educational experiences. I would like to hear from you if you or someone you know has experienced similar such a things in your or their lives.

I know its painful and not something you all wish to share but the feedback would be appreciated.Thanks.

[yeawutever]

Not think it's the time you should talk to your mother about the whole thing that took place back then. If she for some reason denies it or changes the topic, doesn't bother to listen, at least you try your best. From then on talk to a counselor about it. They deal with child abuse case and help people out.

[shoreline]

I appreciate your views on this. I really dont know if I can open up to a professional, remember, it was a professional that did this to me. It would have to be someone my age. I really cant see telling a young person whom themselves cant even imagine such a thing let alone ever having experienced it themselves.

 

 

Perhaps a fellow survivor. I guess that's the reason I'm on here. I'm looking for anyone who went through this as a way of support. To share like experiences and perhaps get enlightenment into how they moved forward etc.

 

Sadly, I have no one on here yet that has admitted to this happening to them. But then that's a good thing right?

[LonelyMoondancer]

Hi shoreline,

I have not been through what you've been so I don't really have any stories for you. But I'm so sorry for what you've been put through. I really do think you should talk to your mother though. She knows more to the story, and if you really do have a good relationship with her you should get it out of her. You can start off saying that it's really important to you to find out what exactly was going on and for her to please not brush this off so you can get some closure, as it's been haunting you for years. If you guys are close, surely she won't ignore that. Getting her thoughts might help.

Also, you really should be getting help for this. This is a horrible thing to bottle up inside. It's great that you're here on these forums and talking about it, but none of us are professionals and people can only help so much through anonymous forums. You need to be discussing this and learning to cope with what's been done so that you can hopefully put it behind you. I'm sure you weren't a bad kid at all. She sounds like she was a perverse, unhappy woman who unfortunately chose you to inflict her abuse onto.

You can't go back and change a thing, but you can choose not to let this ruin you. Please talk to your mom and seek help for yourself.

[shoreline]

After all these years I dont think I'm going to further humiliate myself by having "the talk" with my 72 year old mom. Even the slightest mention of how bad I had it as a kid causes her to roll her eyes ...with this look on her face. She doesn't get it and never will, Ive stopped trying with her.

Who I would really really like to get my claws into is that woman who abused me. If she is still alive Id like to confront her, perhaps a little humility her way would feel good. Class action sounds good but unlikely. I wish I knew where she is. I want to hear what she has to say for herself!

[yeawutever]

Even if you were to end up confronting her, how about if she were to either laugh in your face or just denied the whole thing and say it never happened?? That's what most abusers and molestors do, they tend to deny it.....

[shoreline]

It was picture day. I was 8 and it had been only one, maybe two days, since that "bare bottom spanking" in front of the class. I remember we were lined up and getting our photos taken. These were those personal pictures of just our head and shoulders and not the class/group photos.

It came to be my turn and I sat down on the stool. I know that this was the beginnings of my crippling social disorder, my social anxiety that I still suffer from. I remember how I felt singled out and alone on that stool. But of course I was supposed to be, I was getting my picture taken. It was different for me though. I was embarrassed to leave the safety of the line up, the safety of the group. I had weak legs of fear as I walked to the stool and sat down.

That feeling of exposure and loneliness. It was common now in my life. The camera man was readying the equipment and having me sit like this and that. As I stared into the lens and tried to not let my fear show, some little girl from the line up made a comment. I couldn't see through the glare of the bright light.

She pipes up in a proud and excited voice loud enough for all to hear that I had just got a spanking in front of the whole class with his pants down in front of everybody.

It was then that I felt humiliated, not anger. I wasn't allowed to show anger,that would get me in trouble, no I was ashamed. Now the picture guy knew too and I was unable to hide that shame and "snap" went the camera.

I still have that photo and am saddened by the look on my face. Only I know what I was feeling and thinking at that moment. I know it was uncomfortable to even sit on the stool for the session.

The kids in that school knew and told one another and I'm guessing everyone knew. I was the laughing stock of that school. Its no wonder I hate line ups at the bank etc..

I wonder just how many others knew outside of school that that kid told, all the kids told.

[shoreline]

Reply to yeawutever

 

Sorry about that but I accidentally deleted my reply to you from above, Ill post it again. I agree yeawutever, confronting her could be the worst thing I could do. I really wouldn't be responsible for my action due to the rage I have bottled up. If she were dumb enough to laugh and tell me off.

Maybe shes sorry....ha...I doubt that. She would perhaps deny. I really dont know what would happen. Perhaps Id be a scared little kid again and whimper off. That wouldn't be good.

[shoreline]

I see the question on here about child abuse and it causing mental health problems later. I suffered mental health issues AS a child and of course as an adult from what happened to me.

 

I remember sitting on the bus and it seems that we weren't moving or we were just getting underway. I believe we were in the school parking lot and a child behind me suddenly yells loudly to the bus driver. He is telling him and everyone else on the bus that wasn't deaf that I was back here drawing dirty pictures.

 

I remember the feeling of shame again. I knew I was in trouble and that I was caught and was in a high state of panic and anxiety, fear. However, I did not know what I was drawing was wrong. I cant tell you why I drew what I drew. I have no answers as to the reasons for it.

 

The bus driver stopped the bus and came back and had the scribbler on my lap open. It was now a parent to everyone on the bus what I was doing. I was a pervert. I was a weirdo. I was a fruitcake.

 

I obediently opened the scribbler or whatever at the time to reveal the god awful deviant that I was at 8 years of age. He was angry and the kids were laughing at me. Yet another thing for them to pick on me about.

 

I had drawn in pencil, pictures of a child over a grow ups lap, with pants and underwear down getting spanked. I wish today I still had that drawing. I cant imagine it was very good for I have never been much of an drawer.

 

He took the drawings from me and that's all I have for memory on that. I dont remember if I was punished or if the school knew. I'm sure something came of it. I figure its another one of those things I have blocked out.

 

I see a child crying out for help! I see a child trying to tell someone...anyone, what awful things were being done to him at school. I received no help. Why else would a child draw such a thing. I think I was cracking. Yes I thing child abuse causes mental illness, but in children as well.

[shoreline]

Surely some of you must have witnessed some corporal punishment in the classroom. Share with me and help me understand the things done to us as children in school.

I recall a story that my sister told me many many years ago of when she was a child in this community in lets say 1966-70, when she was 7-11. I was told that her and two other girls were punished for "tattling" on a boy who had been lifting their dresses and looking underneath and such.

She told me that they were sent to the office and beaten(with a strap) with their dresses up and panties down over the principals knee. Each one took their turn as the other two watched.

I'm guessing this was also allowed back then. Again, at least it was done partly in private.

 

Are their any older folks who witnessed this or experienced this themselves who would care to share. Was this common?

[shoreline]

First of all, I would like an apology from the woman teacher who abused me in school and all those who allowed this to happen. I would then like a financial compensation for the lost wages and opportunities and general lack of life enjoyment. Maybe knowing that I'm not going to starve to death and be homeless would help reduce my stress and relieve my misery some.

Maybe then I could focus on getting therapy for my serious mental health issues caused by her abuse. With better finances I could afford meds and therapy to get my depression and anxiety under control or better managed.

This woman has no idea how badly she has messed me up. I would like her to know what has become of me. What she has done. I would like her to know that she didnt win and didnt crush me.

I would like therapy to be able to recall the missing memories and names and faces. I would like to know what happened that was so bad that I dont remember. I lost years in elementary school. I remember so little. Just fear and terror.

[shoreline]

I am wondering the age of the visitors to this site. Perhaps they are too young to have witnessed such things in school.

Anyone can feel free to express their opinion though. I wonder at what age spankings stopped in public school. Anyone know?

[yeawutever]

I'm 22 years old,though will be turning 23 on April. As for when did school spankings stopped, I don't know, I have never seen that happened in my school.

[shoreline]

Hey you, I was your age when you were born.

 

Life in the late 60's and through the 70's was very very different than today. When I was a child you didnt express your opinion, you didnt have one. You didnt talk out of turn if you were allowed to speak at all.

My friend was playing with matches when he was 8-9. He was inside a closed packing box and using them for light. I was outside, too afraid of getting involved in a normal,exploratory event as playing with matches.

Though I know how dangerous fooling with matches can be, it is something I think every child has done. My friend was caught because of his older sister telling on him. His mother made him strip completely. She came to his room with the belt and beat his bare butt. I could hear through the door how hard it was.

This was the atmosphere that children grew up in back then. There was no telling your teacher about abuse and getting help like today. Beatings were just a normal, expected part of childhood back then.

And who do you tell when its the teacher inflicting this crap on you in front of all your classmates. Telling your parents did no good. No child protection when I was a kid. Teachers, apparently, could do as they pleased.

Apparently teachers could undress your child and slap your child bare bottom with their hand or strap and get away with it. She did with me!

 

Yes things were very different back then when I was a little boy.

[shoreline]

Have you ever met someone that you thought was weird? I am one of those people. Because of my child abuse I have a very hard time trusting people. I dont understand people and would much rather just be left alone. I have a hard time maintaining friendships and always comparatively judge. I had no trust in authority. I wish I was different. Its hard wired into my brain and it takes tremendous effort to tolerate peoples foolishness.

Having been told your stupid...a dummy and useless as a child gives you little self esteem. The only self worth I have is what I built myself up with. I had no one else to do it for me. And teacher abuse that broke me.

 

So the next time you meet someone who seems weird, maybe there is a good reason for it. Be nice to them. They could use a friend. For once. And not an opportunistic person..but a real friend.

[shoreline]

So few replies. Are there any of the older generation on here that endured or witnessed such activity in school??

[redbird]

I went to Catholic school in the 60s and we had some tough nuns, but I never witnessed anything like you describe. My guess is that this teacher of yours was abused herself as a child. Many abused children grow up to be either abusers themselves or victims of life. I don't live in Canada, but am wondering if you could eventually bring a lawsuit against the school system much like victims of sexual abuse by priests have done against the Catholic church here in the U.S. Possibly if you could tell your story (even anonymously) to a newspaper, other victims would come forward. Whatever you do, I urge you to get help for yourself. I know it's very difficult to even think of opening up to a therapist about this, but therapists these days are trained to deal with this type of abuse. Some even specialize in it. By not getting help for yourself and continuing to live a life filled with fear, shame and rage, you are letting her WIN. The adult you has to be the advocate for that helpless little boy inside of you. You have to stand up for him, fight for him and not let him be victimized anymore.

[Belgian girl]

I'm sry to hear.

[indy_mikey]

In response to Shoreline's messages. I used to be paddled in 5th grade when living in Alaska, by my teacher who I think enjoyed paddling kids. I say this because once she told a friend and I "I just love to paddle little boys, especially naughty ones."

She said this as we were sitting in the hall waiting for class to end, and get paddled. Her statement kind of jolted me a little. I think I always suspected that she enjoyed paddling, but I think it made me think this time it was going to be harder. School rules I think may have limited the swats to 3, over the jeans. I always took them without giving any sign to her that it stung. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. I'll bet she would have jumped at the chance to "spank" me, perhaps in her home, where there wouldn't be any rules, and I'm sure the bottom would have been bared, and no doubt she would have gotten the reaction (tears) I'm sure she wanted to see. Big difference between 3 swats over jeans, compared to bare with unlimited swats. I've wondered how long she taught school, and if she continued paddling at her next school, and if she ever put someone over her knees, bare or clothed. We were at an Army base, so she moved somewhere. I will say that we were better behaved in schools that used a paddle compared to schools the didn't use a paddle. I've been to both schools.

[indy_mikey]

Actually, looking back now, I think perhaps had I been given an over the knee spanking on a bare bottom, in private, not limited to a 3 swat rule, I'll bet I would have behaved much better. There would have been no holding back on my part, in other words, she would have gotten the tearful response she wanted, and I'm sure I would have been on my best behavior the rest of the year, not wanting a repeat of this spanking. So it may have eliminated all the other paddlings I received that weren't sufficient enough to really make a change in my attitude or behavior. Would be interesting had it occurred to see how my behavior changed. As someone else said on here, there would be no way I would have told my parents - you get in more trouble that way. So, she would have gotten away with it, and I'm sure I would have benefited in behaving better. However, in the case of Shoreline's messages, I think he tried not to get in trouble either the rest of the school year, but, he had a teacher that would have used any excuse. Who knows, my teacher might have too (since she did like to spank). In that case, there is no benefit to the one being spanked. Changed behavior is one thing (and may be a good thing), but then no more spankings. Otherwise, as he said he just tried to become invisible, withdrawn, because behaving didn't work! Those kids who pushed him in back of her chair should have really felt horrible when this time his pants were lowered and real sobbing occurred. The teacher had NO right to paddle/spank in this incident.

[fantastic]

I think anyone who spanks a child on the barebottom is sexually abusing that child.

[shoreline]

If memory serves me correctly I think I was funneled accidentally in the rush of the crowd toward the back of her. I dont think at that point I would have been stupid enough to call her on her threat or challenge her, do you? She turned red in the face screaming at everyone to get to their seat, NOW!! while grabbing me. I knew what was going to happen, or at least I thought I did.

 

Is there value in a shocking ,embarrassing pants down spanking...absolutely. It changed my behavior irrevocably. I hate to think that I benefited from it but you have to agree kids today are out of control and show no respect to adults. I was scared at home anyway and quite respectful of adults to begin with. Fearful in a healthy way perhaps and that kept me in line. I was a good kid and what she did was too much too far. I didnt need that to keep me in line, what it actually did was make me retreat in fear and become a child of shame.

I spent the rest of my childhood silently watching and observing others doing as they pleased and shaking my head at how they were getting away with it, and if it were me doing that, I would have had my pants taken down and Id have my bare bottom tanned. This way of thinking stays with me today making it near impossible to take risks or chances out of fear of making the wrong decision. I still watch as people do as they please and get away with it, laughing. I constantly judge others for their abuse of the rules in life because when I do it I get caught and punished and they dont.

It was like that when I was a kid...they talked in class etc...but I didnt see them over the teachers lap crying as their bottoms turned red in front of the whole class. Where was the equal treatment. I have never made sense of it.

[Hermes]

Just thought I would post this link:

 

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And this:

 

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Excerpt:

 

""Beaten children very early on assimilate the violence they endured, which they may glorify and apply later as parents, in believing that they deserved the punishment and were beaten out of love. They don't know that the only reason for the punishments they have ( or in retrospect, had) to endure is the fact that their parents themselves endured and learned violence without being able to question it. Later, the adults, once abused children, beat their own children and often feel grateful to their parents who mistreated them when they were small and defenseless.

 

This is why society's ignorance remains so immovable and parents continue to produce severe pain and destructivity - in all "good will", in every generation. Most people tolerate this blindly because the origins of human violence in childhood have been and are still being ignored worldwide. Almost all small children are smacked during the first three years of life when they begin to walk and to touch objects which may not be touched. This happens at exactly the time when the human brain builds up its structure and should thus learn kindness, truthfulness, and love but never, never cruelty and lies.

[carol4thelord]

Shoreline, I'm sorry you suffered as you did. I'm sure other children were singled out by their teachers, even if they suffered different punishment than yours.

 

I can't speak for Canada but here in the UK teachers were certainly allowed to spank in class. In fact at one time there was a slipper hanging on every classroom wall for just that purpose, and being told to "fetch the slipper" was a normal part of our education.

 

I never saw anyone being spanked on the bare bottom in front of the class. In private, yes, but not in class. Do you feel it was the embarrassment of being smacked with your pants down that affected you so deeply, or was it the fact that it only happpened to you? If everyone in the class had received the same bare bottom spanking over the teacher's knee, do you think that would have changed your perception and your response to the event?

 

Carol

[Hermes]

Shoreline:

 

It is against the law now in many countries, and has been for some time, and comes under the heading of "assault". Quite uncivilized IMO.

 

Corporal punishment in school is still legal in some parts of the world, including 20 of the States of the USA, but has been outlawed in other places, including Canada, Kenya ,Japan, South Africa, New Zealand, and nearly all of Europe except the Czech Republic[3] and France.[4]

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I don't know if this is any comfort to you.

 

Hermes