Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Robin2904]

Stop playing with my emotions. You know all the right things to say to get a reaction out of me and it works every time. My head screams leave me alone but I know that's not what my heart really wants. But I should never listen to my heart because its betrayed me 100000000 times when it comes to you. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Guess I'm insane.

[chamachama]

Sorry ultimateguy, that sounds brutal.

[chickydoodle]

Got a txt this morning that said ''hello''.

I would like to respond with:

 

Whats this about? testing the waters?

Why dont you contact her if you are feeling lonely and need your narcissistic ego stroked?

Do you need to hear that I dont hate you? That may be so - but it is over -on every level. You no longer have me as a best friend and my last word of advice is to get psychiatric help; that is if you have it in you to be honest with a psychiatrist.

I understand certain things you say and do may be part of a PD that is difficult to control.

Either way, I must walk away now and carry on as best I can. There is nothing you can say or do at this stage to lure me back. It is irepairable - even if you do seek help.

I have invested too much for too long.

[Brittanyxox90]

Response to the text I got a few days back: "How is your week going?"

 

How is my week going? You broke up with me the day before Thanksgiving citing you are not attracted to me, cancelled our weekend plans, shipped me my things back via ups, and cancelled our vegas trip for x-mas. A trip I packed for in AUGUST before we even booked it. "You just weren't ready for commitment" so after 2.5 years of dating you're LEAVING me for an older single mom of 2??? f&ck you buddy that b**ch can have my sloppy seconds, and judging from her pic it looks like she got around more than the good humor man. It's wonderful to know how you can just drop 2.5 years and all the memories we shared, I SETTLED for you. You're a horrible kisser, you suck in bed, but I overlooked it because I love you, and here you are telling ME you're not attracted to ME??? You're a horrible person. I hope you enjoy your little rebound relationship, and I hope you realize what a big f***n mistake you made and by then I will have moved on!!! To quote Blanche Deveraux: "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Drop dead."

[lalalollipops]

^ lmfao your post made me lol pretty hard.

 

 

----

 

Just got home, wonder what you're up to?

Actually. I'd rather not know.

 

[chamachama]

Omg that's an awesome post. Haha become one with your anger....love it

[Chalk]

Of course I had to write here didn't I? Because writing to you is a sort of thought process about our relationship.

 

I have to say I am confused by you. Will you reply to my e-mail or not? I was very understanding and surely it would be nice to e-mail me back saying: I'm sorry, I just don't love you anymore. I will respect your wish not to keep in touch.

 

Maybe I don't want to hear from you because it will only confuse me or knock me back.

 

I had another dream last night. You confessed to me that you had mistaken me for your mother and also that you were going to explore your sexuality. It felt right, lol.

 

I find myself asking who you actually are and maybe it's because you don't know yourself.

 

Anyway, thanks for listening. You've suddenly become an excellent listener to me...lol!

 

I still miss your ugly mug. I'm happy that it was part of my life. Maybe one day it will be more the later than the former x

[einsteins_girl]

I should have known December would be hard.

 

What happened to us? How did we end up here?

[lalalollipops]

I just keep thinking about your lips; those lips that used to fit mine so perfectly.

And how much I want to grab you and just... Brush my lips softly against yours.

One last time.

[sportsguy9981]

You left me in a town where its pretty impossible to meet anybody to be with.. you found someone in a town just like this. Wait you threw yourself at someone in a town just like this. I can't believe I was with such an untrustworthy **** for so long. I know that someone here or somewhere is waiting to meet me, and when that happens I'll show you what a real relationship is all about without lieing and cheating.

[deedeee]

I hope this is the last time I cry. It's his Birthday today. Last year this time, we were celebrate his Birthday with the cake I picked. There are so many thing I want to say to him, but it seems all been eaten away as time passes by...

 

Holiday is specially hard when you are alone. I'm glad my job will move me to a different state soon in January. Can't wait for 2013 and start a new beginning.

[lalalollipops]

I was hoping to get a kiss from you on New Year's Eve.

Too bad that ain't happening lol.

God I hate the holidays.

[jaded123]

XXX:

 

Saw your facebook today. You do look very happy, stunningly so !

 

I guess, you did leave/move on/engaged, a looong time ago. You said you had too, but sometimes the heart doesn't believe what ones eyes are telling oneself.

 

I have felt utterly lost without you for most earlier this year, like living with half a body or half a face. But today, I ask myself, is one ever truly lost ? No, not if one keeps trying to achieve their goals, maintains a positive attitude and makes the world a better place, then one can never be lost.

 

I feel no jealously or regret at this moment, just sadness (transient) and acceptance for the way things are. We are all damaged in some way or another you said to me once. I happily retorted, "but not me". How little I knew of human experience then, how incomplete my knowledge, having never been in a long term relationship/breakup before.

 

I'll say now that still..none of us are truly damaged. None of us, because all of us still have the capacity to feel. And that's all that matters.

 

==

No, fly me, fly me, far as pole from pole;

Rise Alps between us! and whole oceans roll!

Ah, come not, write not, think not once of me,

Nor share one pang of all I felt for thee.

==

 

A snippet of a song comes to me: "I used to count in a million things, now I count on one". We all struggle to preserve at least some memory of our past loves but despite all our efforts, memories are slowly erased as we get older. Molecules carrying emotion, wither and degrade. But weirdly, I remember everything. I think of you, sometimes, beautiful and radiant in your earrings. Or splashing water on a warm summer night. And the birthday dinner you made and the dress you wore that day.

 

A butterfly once sat on my arm on a sunny afternoon while I waited for you. You never came to see me in human form that day but your spirit must have come in the form of that butterfly.

 

I hope you will always be happy. Thank you for enriching my life in the brief time I knew you. I do have to try to really let you go now, like that butterfly, and sometimes, although 99% is doable, letting go 100%, that last 1%, can be quite hard. It's not the memories, it's the feeling of having memories in the first place that's hard to forget. I know, prolly makes no sense to you!

 

-XXX

[jaded123]

Oh god, i can't take this much pain/hopelessness anymore.

[origami]

You write and think so wisely Jaded123! I'm impressed.

[jaded123]

I impulsively emailed it to her 2 min ago. Not too happy about it now. Not right to do that but I wanted her to know, somehow, how broken up I still am. I know she was hurt too but I didn't deserve this much pain, not when I loved her and made so many amends for my original mistake. What happened to her love ? It just disappears, like we are all interchangeable parts. I know I'm supposed to post here in lieu of sending it. I posted here first, resisted but I'm too weak. I want final closure, in my own brain.

[lalalollipops]

I love you, I'm giving myself till end of Dec to wallow then there will be no more of sad moi.

January will be about earning money, meeting new people and moving on. Can't believe there's been like only two days max out of two bloody months where I didn't cry over you. W t f is wrong with me? Why can't I just accept that you're gone, that I'll never hear your voice or see you again?

You're gone.

[Chalk]

The dreams I have about you are always really bizarre. I dreamt we were both bleeding, literally pouring with blood. I felt that we should get to a hospital because there was no stopping it. You just said it would be fine and that all we needed to do would be drink plenty of water. I was really worried and felt like I was worrying excessively...chillout you've only lost half you blood!

 

Is this a sign to trust myself or do I just need to stay off the cheese?

[Chalk]

I hate not knowing how you are and what your doing. My brain still thinks you're mine for some reason. I hate trying to trust my gut because my gut says we'll end up together and that just seems illogical and doesn't help with healing. Maybe these gut feelings are just hopes in the present situation.

 

I used to think my inutition was pretty good but now I think critical appraisal has tonbe where it's at.

 

Now you are just a dream, a memory and a part of my imagination and I need to realise that.

 

Caring about you and appreciating you have been part of my daily life for years so it's really hard and really hurts to change those pathways in my brain.

 

I wanted it to be you. I really miss you. It would help to know you missed me too. I really do feel haunted by you. I can see why people started to believe in ghosts.

[Pengy]

I'm coming to terms with the harsh reality that you may never want to get back with me. Maybe this depression was real, maybe it was a catalyst to help you break things off with me, maybe things were moving too fast, maybe you're bipolar and you really don't know what you want when you're depressed. I don't know. What I do know is that I need to pick myself up, brush myself off and move on with my life.

I am a catch. I know I am. I hope that one day when you finally see that again, I won't be long gone. I hope that you don't start to miss me when it's too late. I do want to be with you still. But I don't want to waste another day being sad because you 'can't' be with me. I deserve more than that.

[ideal87]

I'm starting to realize how much better off I am without you, N. My mother was correct when she said "Time heals all things".

[raenetha808]

It's so strange to observe what you're doing, as of late! I find it interesting, yet I'm kind of chuckling at the futility of it. You still haven't contacted me at all, since oh, shall we call it, 'ground zero'. I sent you a final email in a place where I knew you would have access to it. And that's fine, I wasn't expecting a response. I just wanted some closure for myself, and I wanted to make sure that there was no opportunity for miscommunication on my part.

 

But I notice now, you're like, lurking around! Notably, in places that you haven't lurked for like 2 months, and I think it's so that I'll see you? Are you hoping I'm going to contact you again? Are you hoping that I might get jealous or something, if I see you talking to or flirting with other people? If that's the case, buddy... you're sorely mistaken. I have no intention of contacting you at this point. I can only be rejected so many times (even if it is through silence). I've run the gamut of scenarios... the only one that truly makes sense to me and my wandering mind, is the scenario where you are being avoidant because you're too immature to let me know that you don't want to pursue things any more. I get that... I can be the bigger person here. I'm going to have to be, since I don't feel like wallowing at your level.

 

As far as jealousy or whatever... I'm not worried. They can HAVE you... I do feel sorry for them though, to an extent, because they'll probably fall for the same intense charm that I fell for, and when you decide to pull your little game on them too, it's going to hurt their feelings, just like you completely hurt mine. Do I want to be with someone who has no regard for how I feel, or what I'm going through? Absolutely not. I'm way, way better than that, guy.

 

I think one day, MAYBE, you'll have a chance to be a wonderful person, once you grow up a lot, get some life experience under your belt, and try to develop some empathy. Its not 100% easy for me, still... I don't just whimsically decide I'm going to care about someone and then turn it off, like a faucet. But the more time goes by, and the more I really think about it, it's like... you are not the right one. And to fret about it is just wasting precious time. I should be excited to move on to the next opportunity, and.. in a way, I really kind of am. I think I'm finished lamenting, and I'm ready to be happy with life again, just as it is.

[lalalollipops]

I keep on blocking then unblocking you (I know, I need to stop it already!)

I miss you so much I ache.

[0 for 3]

Today is your birthday, on this day last year I flew all the way to chicago to surprise you at your dinner, when you thought i was actually working...I had it planned for weeks.. your friends were all in on it...when I spoke you before I boarded the plane...you were saying that all you wanted for your bday was to have me there..I knew how much it would mean to you if I somehow made it there...and I did...when I surprised you...the smile on ur face will be forever engraved in my heart...you just kept staring at me, asking me if it were really me standing there...and indeed it was...exactly one year later....things have fallen apart before my eyes..havent heard from you in over a month...but on this your birthday...i thank god that i at least had a small amount of time to have you in my life...on this your birthday..i hope you are smiling just as you were one year ago....happy birthday

[Limiya]

I thought i was doing better.

It's been 4 months. So why am i still sitting here pining for you and missing you?

You did absolutely nothing to deserve my time. How could i have allowed this for so long? Why can't i stop thinking of you?

Don't you think of me at all? Don't you miss me? Even a little?

I hope you feel tremendous guilt. You deserve to. After the sh*t you have put me through. I wish i could hurt you in return but i'm not that type of person.

Is she making you happy? Are you really more happy with her than when you were with me?

Don't answer that. It would hurt.

Why did you string me along for 6 years if you didn't love me? How could you give me all those bullsh*t excuses? Why did you lie to me?

Am i worth that little?

I miss your family, and i HATE them too for not being there for me.

My emotions have taken a battering, but i will get through it. One day you will massively regret doing this.

I hope your life falls apart completely!! I won't be around to comfort you.

 

I'm angry and upset. I deserve better.

Limiya