Ex-Boyfriend Cheated On His Girlfriend with Me...don't know what to make of it =/

[dancebabe]

Ok so all summer my ex and I have been working together, and all summer its been a struggle for me to juggle my current relationship and the contact i've been maintaining with my ex. At the beginning of the summer i vowed to keep it strictly professional, and started out strong...only responding to his texts with one word answers, but alas somehow his charm got to me like it always does and the contact between us increased. And i admit, i began to like the attention he was giving me...and i realized maybe i was never really over him in the first place. Of course i know this wasn't right because i had a new boyfriend. My ex continually kept telling me he wanted nothing more than friendship with me and that he was happy with his new girlfriend...but yet kept trying to push more of a "friends with benefits" relationship, although i told him that i wasn't willing to cheat on my boyfriend. This continued throughout the summer...to the point where he would contact me everyday and everynight, trying to hook up with me...every time my answer would be the same. Towards the end of the summer we finally had a falling out where he got fed up with me saying no i guess and so he told me that for the rest of the summer our contact had to only be a professional demeanor, that thats how it should have been all along...ok well, i wasnt the one who initiated any other way to begin with. He was actually pretty mean about it all, saying he had zero feelings for me whatsover and that there was no chance he ever wanted to be with me ever again because i never fixed the reasons he broke up with me in the first place and that i wasnt his style and blah blah...a bunch of bull. Funny though, because as soon as me and my current boyfriend broke up, he came right back around and started talking me again...

 

Unfortunately, i made the mistake of having sex with him before he went back to school. I know it was wrong because he has a girlfriend himself...but he really doesnt seem to care very much about cheating on her. He continues to text me appropriate things!

It just bothers me because i still care about him, but he still has his girlfriend and he tries to act like he's so happy with her...it really makes me sick how much of an act he's putting up...

 

 

Ahhh any insight as to what may be going on in his head right now??

[Scorpion Fury]

It shows you a lot about his character, and should just make you say "good riddance" even more

[brokenpogostick]

I would move on and forget about him. He's not good for you. You deserve much better.

[itsallgrand]

It's not what is going on his head that you need to be focusing on. It's what is going on in yours - and why you even care. Why did you chose to take part in that mess?

 

Him, he's just playing off people for his own selfish reasons. Won't be able to do that if you know where your head is at.

[EQD]

been there done that STOP TALKING TO HIM.

 

which you wont.. you'll think there is more to it, and thats a mistake.

but... personally i'll never go down that road again.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Cut him out of your life. No good will come from this. I can pretty much bet that was not the first time he cheated on his girlfriend. He probably has other women he has been working on as well.

[PsychGirly]

This is basically one of those situations where you put yourself in someone else's shoes. If you were the gf, you would expect the ex-gf to stay out of your relationship. It's pretty sad that the gf isn't aware of all this.

 

I know that, chances are, he's gonna cheat on her whether it's with you or someone else...but don't lower yourself. Cut-off contact with him.

[dancebabe]

I guess your right...the hardest part about all of this was that although the two of them didnt officially start dating right after we broke up...she was one of "those" girls...the ones that immediately comes around after a fresh break up...throwing herself at my ex, posting all over his facebook, inviting him to go skiing at her house...etc. She seems well off so he seems like he makes out pretty good with her...so i guess you could say i was a little bitter with her after i broke up with him, because alas me and him were together for four years...couldn't you at least give us a little grieving time before you pounced in on him?? I mean dont get me wrong i know its not right of me to be doing what im doing but then again i'm not the only one at fault...i dont know i just guess part of me still has this flicker of hope that he still has feelings for me somewhere in there, or else why would he be doing this?

 

And i know this probably doesnt mean anything to anyone but he did say he's had other girls want to hang out with him while he was home for the summer (this girl who i always was suspicious of liking him while we were going out and who therefore disliked) but he turned them down...he has said that i'm the only one that he would ever cheat on his girlfriend with. Ha, i dont know if thats anything worthy of believing or anything to make me feel better about myself by a longshot but yea...

 

=/

[EQD]

you sound like me when i first came here. to the T. all of it.

and trust me, it wasnt worth the time i spent toying around with him.

 

the fun part is in knowing that at one point you were the girl he is dating now, and he was cheating on you just as he is now cheating on her.

 

guys who do this are generally multiple offenders.

 

as a cheater its now his mission to make you feel special so he can continue to use you. he will give you a sob story, say or express that you are unique or important to him.. and continue to put on the 'perfectly perfect' face when he is with his gf.

 

thats how all cheaters work.

[EQD]

so your next logical question is probably: if she seems to be perfect then why is he cheating? do i really mean that much?

 

the answer is

1) he is scum

 

and

 

2) no. because he'd be with you if you did.

 

these are hard on the ego, especially when he just gave you a nice well thought out ego boost. But thats how and why all other women stick around their spoken for cheaters.

because in some way we like to feel good about it. and they make us feel good about it.

 

its a game. get out or stay in. but you'll only lose it if you keep playing along.

[dancebabe]

ahhhh..."perfectly perfect" face for his gf...thats so true, because just today he posted some lyrics on his facebook about how he's here to stay with her, and she's not alone. it really makes me sick because its such a fake front, when he spends hours texting me...

 

I know what he's doing its just so hard to remove myself from the situation ahhhh. =[

Why do they do this to us??

[pigtails]

Cut him off! He clearly has some sort of a personal issue, and can't seem to make up his mind about what he wants. In my experience and opinion, guys who cheat on their girlfriends are insecure and do it because they're unhappy with the relationship that they're in at the moment, but are too afraid to be alone. I hate to say this but it may sound as though he's a bit of a player...and it's wise to stay away from those ones for the sake of your own happiness...and sanity! No one deserves to be treated like that, you deserve much better!

[pigtails]

I know it's really hard, but try to avoid checking his facebook profile...maybe even block him! Do whatever you need to do to make yourself happy!

[EQD]

ahhhh..."perfectly perfect" face for his gf...thats so true, because just today he posted some lyrics on his facebook about how he's here to stay with her, and she's not alone. it really makes me sick because its such a fake front, when he spends hours texting me...

 

I know what he's doing its just so hard to remove myself from the situation ahhhh. =[

Why do they do this to us??

 

oh yeah, the night after my ex had sex with me he posted on his myspace about how he was so lucky to have her and that they would be together always..

 

So.. heres something thats going to hurt to think about: If he is putting on a face like this with her and the rest of the world, he's putting on a HELL of a face for you.

 

Its an act. you want it to be true, but its not. i'm sorry you are stuck in this but i hope you realize what i did soon and get a guy who deserves you, and who isnt a lying manipulating cheater.

[MoreThanME]

He is a liar. Who needs him?

[dancebabe]

He is so sickening.

 

So first off I have to say that the other night thursday I believe, I went to bed and had this horrible nightmare about him and the other girl getting married...it woke me up. I look down at my phone and there's a text from him. It was sent at 1:37am! Saying hi...probably drunk ughhh

 

And today i wake up to find his facebook status says iiiiii loveeeee ....... (his girlfriends name) probably another of his drunken stupors as it was posted at approximately 2am.

 

Its really just a dagger in the heart.

And makes me sick

And really wants to make me stick it to him....or tell her.

But i know i should just walk away =[

 

Its just such a hoax...saying you love your girlfriend when in all reality you've been texting me and cheating on her with me.

[savignon]

He was actually pretty mean about it all, saying he had zero feelings for me whatsover and that there was no chance he ever wanted to be with me ever again because i never fixed the reasons he broke up with me in the first place and that i wasnt his style and blah blah...a bunch of bull. Funny though, because as soon as me and my current boyfriend broke up, he came right back around and started talking me again...

What's "funny" is that you would sleep with someone who said he has zero feelings for you and that he never wanted to be with you as well as listing your previous faults AND who has a girlfriend.

[savignon]

Why do they do this to us??

Because you let him.

It's interesting that you think *their* relationship is a hoax and not the side thing he has going with you.

This is why they do it. Because they can.

[dancebabe]

I never passed judgement on whether what I was doing was right...I know it was wrong...and know I need to end it. I only say their relationship is a hoax because he flaunts I love you's and i'll always be there's, especially recently since the cheating...that's all...it just makes me kind of sick that he does that.

[metrogirl]

I never passed judgement on whether what I was doing was right...I know it was wrong...and know I need to end it. I only say their relationship is a hoax because he flaunts I love you's and i'll always be there's, especially recently since the cheating...that's all...it just makes me kind of sick that he does that.

 

Well you can cut your ties with him and then you won't be partly responsible for what he's doing.

 

He does it because he can.......It's sad but that is how it is. When you decide to throw in the towel, you will feel much better about it and then the lying scum can find another girl to text at 1:00am while his girlfriend is off wondering what he is up to.

[arcadefire]

I would tell his girlfriend, say sorry, be remorseful, and then block him from facebook, phones, etc. and disappear from his life. She deserves to know what kind of an ugly face he fronts, no matter how much you don't want to be the messenger, but a loving girl like her (and you!) certainly do not deserve to be played by a disgusting double lifer like him.

 

He's disgusting. You are so much better off without him interrupting your life. He's not worth your grief and anxiety.