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What defines Sexuality?


ATLstudent
Describe a person who you think is ...
Describe a person who you think is very open

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So i heard someone posting a blog recently asking all the closet cases to come out......Basically this person was saying whatever you think about when you are masturbating is what defines your sexaulity, or what defines what your really are.....gay, straight, bi, etc.

 

What defines sexuality???? in your opinion

 

See i dont agreee with this person.....because simply the definition of sexuality usually boils down to a definition like this..."being ATTRACHED to the same sex as one's self."

 

Ok so any attraction toward the same sex right.......well i have never been attracted to the same sex......well in terms of friendship, companionship, humor, relation(not relationship), i have been attracted to the same sex, but these are not sexual attractions

 

With females generally my only attraction is in a sexual or physical way.....usually i am checking them out in some way from point one.....true i have gotten past that point with girls and come to find some great friendship through the opposite sex( although usually someone likes the other person), but in general when i see a female i am attracted to.....its because of her physical appearnace that turns my head.

 

Ok so ive got these physical attractions toward females( as well as emotional in terms of crushes, relationships, love( or what i think i felt lol) ) and these atttractions towards males.....amazing friendships, support, laughter, good times.

 

But when i am by my self masturbating it was most commonly homosexual thoughts or images......heterosexual as well but not as arousing or as common, although i have my moments where i want one over the other.

 

So what direction do i take, am i a coward.....i mean i have told my family about this, and my best friends, and ex girlfriend........

 

Does my homosexual fantasy(that has not come into my life in any other way other than pure fantasy, and not repressing it either...actually embracing it considering it for real and just going with my feelings and attractions, but still never having crushes or real- life attractions toward guys in a sexual way) does this define me

 

I mean arent some things fantasy and thats ok,, u dont have to make every fantasy come true right.....wouldnt it be bad if some of them actually did.......

 

I mean i do want to ride on a magic carpet over the Pyramids of Egypt in my dreams......but in reality I could get killed, and trying to recreate that it really impossible

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My most common fantasy involves a deep emotional, mental, and spiritual bond which draws us together physically in order to be "closer". So I guess I have a connection fantasy? I would certainly love to realize mine. What makes you hesitate to realize yours?

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This blogger's challenge is ridiculous. Fantasies have all kinds of reasons and purposes. It is highly personal. For some, it may be appropriate to explore making the fantasy a reality. For others, it may not. Having thoughts about being with another man is not the same as being gay. Only you can answer that question for yourself, and maybe you do need to explore it. But, you certainly shouldn't feel any pressure to do so, or label yourself a coward for not "coming out." Just because someone makes a pronouncement like that, as if they know what they're talking about, doesn't mean they really do. Fantasies are wonderful, but they don't necessarily have to be linked to reality.

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YOU know what your question actually made me have a deeper thought about this.....WHAT MAKES YOU HESITATE TO FULFILL YOUR FANTASY.....??

 

I think there are two different things here......considering what you wrote as your fantasy......it kind of defines "fantasy" a bit differently

 

So maybe what i think about when i masturbate.....isnt my fantasy......I mean are the thoughts that physically make you aroused necessarily defined as your "fantasy"

 

I mean my real "fantasy" would be to not have any sexual issues, or mental issues, be very un-dysfunctinal, and have graduated college by now, and a good job.....and be in love with the woman of my dreams as welll as be completey 100% turned on by her, physically and emotionally, and live on the beach somewhere secluded just the two of us, thats my fantasy.......and in my fantasy ...I wish those homosexual thoughts that turn me on in real life, werent a part of my body...

 

So i guess my fantasy involves not being physically aroused by homosexual thoughts, being completely aroused by the females in my life, and being able to folllow the love i feel between the girls i have beeen in relationships with....i definitely share the deep emotional connection in my fantasy as well.

 

So why hesitiate, well part of it i dont think will work out.......from what i understand what ever gets you erect....will always, and i guess i am trying to live it out by getting into realtionships with females...i just still have some kinks to work out

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I am no authority on sexuality, however, I believe that we are all bisexual if you remove all lighting.

 

welll the more i have opened up with others about myself the more i realize that so many people fall in that category, that peoples sexaul attractions are all over the place sometimes

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welll the more i have opened up with others about myself the more i realize that so many people fall in that category, that peoples sexaul attractions are all over the place sometimes

 

People are complex and yet not so different from one another after all.

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