jul-els Posted August 25, 2009 Author Share Posted August 25, 2009 Hello, I am on pof, not actively, I just put my profile up and if anyone wants to respond, then fine. Well, someone happened to respond last week, who looks like a potential match! The problem (not really) I'm having is this: we have exchanged emails twice and the first message she sent, which had her name in it, I accidentally deleted. Next time I write, I'm going to have to explain what happened and ask her name again! How embarassing! Ladies: I know I'm making a big deal, but what would you think of someone who did this if you were in her shoes? I don't know why I should care what she thinks, but I'm afraid of coming accross like a heel. I'm just a little hopeful because she really does look like she has potential. Cute, too. Please tell me I'm overthinking this... (but only if it's true ) Link to comment
jul-els Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Hello, I am on pof, not actively, I just put my profile up and if anyone wants to respond, then fine. Well, someone happened to respond last week, who looks like a potential match! The problem (not really) I'm having is this: we have exchanged emails twice and the first message she sent, which had her name in it, I accidentally deleted. Next time I write, I'm going to have to explain what happened and ask her name again! How embarassing! Ladies: I know I'm making a big deal, but what would you think of someone who did this if you were in her shoes? I don't know why I should care what she thinks, but I'm afraid of coming accross like a heel. I'm just a little hopeful because she really does look like she has potential. Cute, too. Please tell me I'm overthinking this... (but only if it's true ) Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Relax...you deleted her email by accident maybe I'm crazy but I don't see anything embarrrassing there. As a side note, don't get overly excited over someone you've never met in person. Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Relax...you deleted her email by accident maybe I'm crazy but I don't see anything embarrrassing there. As a side note, don't get overly excited over someone you've never met in person. Link to comment
jul-els Posted August 25, 2009 Author Share Posted August 25, 2009 Relax...you deleted her email by accident maybe I'm crazy but I don't see anything embarrrassing there. As a side note, don't get overly excited over someone you've never met in person. I know, no worries. Been around the block a few times. Got the t-shirt. Just been off the market for awhile. Good to know you don't think it's offensive. Thanks. Link to comment
jul-els Posted August 25, 2009 Author Share Posted August 25, 2009 Relax...you deleted her email by accident maybe I'm crazy but I don't see anything embarrrassing there. As a side note, don't get overly excited over someone you've never met in person. I know, no worries. Been around the block a few times. Got the t-shirt. Just been off the market for awhile. Good to know you don't think it's offensive. Thanks. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 if she feels it's a match as much as you think, she probably won't care. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 if she feels it's a match as much as you think, she probably won't care. Link to comment
Bankers24 Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 I wouldn't worry about it. Just explian that you deleted the email by accident and ask for her name. No big deal - happens all the time. Plus, if she runs away after that then she wasn't that into you anyway. I agree that you shouldn't get too excited either about someone you have not met in person. My advice is to not dance around anything by emailing for months. Just ask her out for this weekend or next weekend. Link to comment
Bankers24 Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 I wouldn't worry about it. Just explian that you deleted the email by accident and ask for her name. No big deal - happens all the time. Plus, if she runs away after that then she wasn't that into you anyway. I agree that you shouldn't get too excited either about someone you have not met in person. My advice is to not dance around anything by emailing for months. Just ask her out for this weekend or next weekend. Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Just explain that you accidentally deleted it keep it light and jokey, don't go to apologetic - you only deleted an email, you didn't set fire to her house. Good luck! I met my boyfriend on PoF just over a month ago, best thing I ever signed up for it's a bit grim wading through the non-starters, but think about it, if you're a nice normal guy on that site then there must be a nice normal girl who's had the same idea Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Just explain that you accidentally deleted it keep it light and jokey, don't go to apologetic - you only deleted an email, you didn't set fire to her house. Good luck! I met my boyfriend on PoF just over a month ago, best thing I ever signed up for it's a bit grim wading through the non-starters, but think about it, if you're a nice normal guy on that site then there must be a nice normal girl who's had the same idea Link to comment
jul-els Posted August 25, 2009 Author Share Posted August 25, 2009 I don't mind that I deleted the message. It's just forgetting her name that I think is a bit tactless. But it's the internet, I don't know her. Just hate to make a bad first impression. That's the only thing that's bugging me a little. As far as what else to do, I am a bit rusty, but no biggie. Just gotta get back up on the bike. Just looking for opinions on this one minor detail. Link to comment
jul-els Posted August 25, 2009 Author Share Posted August 25, 2009 I don't mind that I deleted the message. It's just forgetting her name that I think is a bit tactless. But it's the internet, I don't know her. Just hate to make a bad first impression. That's the only thing that's bugging me a little. As far as what else to do, I am a bit rusty, but no biggie. Just gotta get back up on the bike. Just looking for opinions on this one minor detail. Link to comment
waveseer Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 I think it's okay to ask for the other person's name anytime you forget until after you have your first child together. At that point their name should have made it into your long term memory. Link to comment
waveseer Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 I think it's okay to ask for the other person's name anytime you forget until after you have your first child together. At that point their name should have made it into your long term memory. Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 been there, just relax! I know it can be kind of embarassing having to ask someone's name..again..but it happens. Like ghost said, if she thinks it's as much as a match as you do...she won't mind a bit! Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 been there, just relax! I know it can be kind of embarassing having to ask someone's name..again..but it happens. Like ghost said, if she thinks it's as much as a match as you do...she won't mind a bit! Link to comment
ArtLover51 Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Seriously...it's pof...I get LOTS of emails & it would not offend me in the least. I don't even give out my real name unless I am interested in talking further with the guy. If they are offended at this - you may want to think if it's all that great of a match! lol Oh...and if it comes up, don't be over apologetic...it comes accross as desperate. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 I would just say that you really should not try to put your eggs in one basket. That will no doubt leave you feeling disappointed. Link to comment
Casey13 Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 First of all, having exchanged only two emails with her, dont assume she is a potential match just yet! It's overly optimistic attitude like this which will cause you let downs. Understand that she is probably exchanging emails on there with at least a few guys if not more. Relax about the name thing.... really. Simply tell her exactly what happened in a casual way and that is that you by mistake deleted her precious email and if you could ask her name again. Or even better, be a little clever and start of your message with "Hey xxxxxxxxx" where xxxxxxxx= some nice compliment, end the message with your name and chances are very likely she will send another message with her name on it. To be successful at online dating be sure to treat it as a casual thing (meet lots of people) until sparks fly in person after a few dates. Focusing on one girl too much will transpire as needy and believe me that she will smell it. Link to comment
jul-els Posted August 25, 2009 Author Share Posted August 25, 2009 Don't worry all, I don't "have my hopes up" nor am I "focusing on her". She's just a random stranger on the internet. I plan on meeting her this week or next but with the internet who even knows if that much will happen. I'm not reading anything into it or expecting anything to come out of it. I'm just a little excited because I have had no interest in dating at all for quite awhile now and I've let opportunities pass by because I just wasn't feeling it. This is the first time in awhile that I've seen someone and thought, yeah, I would like to ask her out. And that feels good. It's a personal thing. It has nothing to do with her or the site. But, anyway, back on topic, it's because I'm so rusty that I feel I may offend by forgetting someone's name. That is a pet peeve of mine so I may very well be projecting it, but I know most people don't care for that sort of thing. I was just looking for feedback on how other people feel about that. Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Hey congrats! There's nothing more exciting than finding someone new who is dating material. I'm always that same way..and if I can avoid re-asking that person what their name is I will! It just happened to me this past weekend..my friend's girlfriend told me her name..and it apparently went right through my ears without absorbing into my brain. So I asked another of my friends.."Uhm..so..what's so and so's girlfriend's name again?" Lmao! I'm so lame. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 The secret of my getting past embarrassing things like this is by saying from the start, "This is really embarrassing, but....." That's something everyone can relate to, so it gets a person's attention into sympathy mode, not tee'd off mode. Not that it should tee off anyone. It's too early on to consider that an indicator of anything. I'm actually terrible at names (I'm great with faces), so I have to give the "this is embarrassing but -- " preamble often, to my disdain. But what are ya gonna do? If I could remember, I certainly would. I can't help it. And 100% of the time, people aren't as hung up about it as I feel they will be. And good luck! Link to comment
jul-els Posted August 25, 2009 Author Share Posted August 25, 2009 The secret of my getting past embarrassing things like this is by saying from the start, "This is really embarrassing, but....." That's something everyone can relate to, so it gets a person's attention into sympathy mode, not tee'd off mode. Not that it should tee off anyone. It's too early on to consider that an indicator of anything. I'm actually terrible at names (I'm great with faces), so I have to give the "this is embarrassing but -- " preamble often, to my disdain. But what are ya gonna do? If I could remember, I certainly would. I can't help it. And 100% of the time, people aren't as hung up about it as I feel they will be. And good luck! Thanks! Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Just say, I'm embarrassed, but I accidently deleted the email in which you gave your name. My apologies, but could you tell me once more? I feel like a huge klutz asking that, but not much I can do now. I feel it's a bit disrespectful on my part, but maybe I'm just being overly self-conscious. It will give me a glimpse into her personality as far as being easy going and such, so that's good. Link to comment
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