how to feel special as his girl?

[sammieC]

is there any way to feel special dating a man who doesnt buy flowers or give presents or sacrifice a bit as he knows that he's short of cash to get more petrol to drive all the way to my place? he's not the kind of guy who does all that. he also told me that he doesnt like a girl who feel special only when he brings her out for a special dinner or buy her an expensive ring.. i have felt special in a way when he brought me to hv dinner with his family, met up with his parents, the little things... but those things cant be the same forever rite?

i recently am trying not to be emotionally dependant on him. i try not be be sad or happy just bcos of him. i keep myself busy. yes he's been a responsible bf on calling or texting me. but u know, women can be independent in any ways just that sometimes they need to feel special...... i dont want to talk about this with him as i hv the feeling we may end up arguing or he tinks he's not doing enough or still thinks im emotionally dependant towards him. im starting to ignore him abit when he texts me. i also am trying to only call him once in every 8 hours or just once a day. with these, i could feel abit more special assuming that he misses me as sometimes he'd test me to call him. his phone is barred (he cant call out) so it's me whom he expects to get a call from and we've been saying goodnites every nite b4 one of us sleeps. I am planning not to call him tonite.

[EQD]

you seem pretty materialistic...

[Greedy Toad]

tests are made to fail, and when you do it makes you feel like crap.

 

Call him, say goodnight and sleep peacefully.

[sammieC]

sigh i guess so.. all this while people think that im not really materialistic... even my bf thought that i look materialistec on the outside but not inside.

[EQD]

its nice to get junk so you can feel 'special' or secure, whatever you want to call it.

But to rely on that when your bf doesnt have money to spare? it wont work like that.

[DN]

You want him to buy you things even though he is short of cash - and even then spends it on petrol so he can see you? What do you do for him?

 

Surely you don't feel special just because people buy you things?

[unabashed]

People in relationships feel special because they are with someone who loves and cares about them. They are compatible and enjoy being together. They share values and respect one another for who they are. Feeling special has nothing to do with stuff. The fact that he cares about you and is communicating caring, loving feelings is what is special. By strategizing and playing games to ignore him or test him for his feelings, you are both bound to lose. You say you aren't materialistic, but you sound like you put a lot of value on things rather than feelings and gestures. EVERYONE wants to feel special--not just women. What are you doing to make him feel special? It sounds like you are causing him to feel used and insecure in your relationship, although I'm sure this isn't your intention. I would suggest that you stop playing mind games with him and treat him the way you want to be treated.

[Stella Sleepwalks]

I think maybe you want to feel secure rather than special? Or am I completely off?

[DN]

You aren't getting gifts from him so you are starting to distance yourself. If he had posted about you, telling the same story in the same way, I for one would advise him to break up with you.

[yellow_sweater]

I feel special when:

 

--I'm talking with some friends, and my boyfriend is talking with other friends, and I'll get this tingling on the back of my neck and I glance over and see him smiling at me.

 

--When I wake up in the morning and look at the little curls on the back of his neck, and he opens his eyes and then closes them, smiling, with the most relaxed, happy expression.

 

--When he comes up from the garden to the house when I get home from work and offers me a cucumber, even though they're his favorite.

 

--When he gets excited about bringing me to a family holiday celebration.

 

--When he hugs me out of the blue.

 

--When he has an insight or interpretation about me, something that I didn't even realize or know about myself.

 

 

With the exception of the cucumbers, none of those involved any material goods.

[Maroney555]

These are very similar ways my fiancee makes me feel special! No materials make things better. We both are broke and don't try to pretend we aren't. We didn't even get anything for each other for our anniversary this year lol

[Jd1983]

While I don't deny that gifts here and there would be sweet, they are not mandatory. I don't expect my boyfriend to shower me with gifts especially knowing that he is short on cash. I'll just be as happy that he is willing to spend time with me, and show me all the little ways in which he cares without having to be money related. It's never good to play little mind games in a relationship either - it doesn't accomplish anything.