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Would this be a bad idea to do??


flowery

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Ok, my boyfriend and i are both on facebook.

 

He adds girls all the time. Say if he has 100 friends on there. 95 are girls. 5 are men. If i have 100 friends - 95 are girls, 5 are guys. Its a bit weird that he has 95 females on his friend list..(his ex is also one of his 'friends')

 

Now, soon as i add a guy friend - they might be some one i worked with or family friend or something, i get questioned. (who are they, did we get together,all that stuff)...even if i say 'oh i worked with him at ###". he wont drop it.

 

I rarely ask him who each and every girl is. Every day there is a new girl added.

 

Now, this never bothered me, but it bothers me in the way where i can't even add one person without getting questioned, and yet he is free to add who he likes.

 

We were both new to facebook and itold him that i dont just add anyone. i dont want people i knew back at school that i wern't friends with knowing my life. I kept it for people i like and know...and he said he was the exact same...but he just keeps adding people now! - like its a fight to see he can get the most.

 

This is where im confused

 

a friend told me to make up a 'male friend' on facebook and add him. Maybe post one message with a 'hey how you been' (simple, not flirty) and just SEE if he questions it. If he does, then bring it up with 'why do u always ask. i dont ask who each and every person u add' (i dont because it seems nosey and not my place to ask).

 

Is that a bad idea? it feels like game playing....but i cant just bring up the issue randomly! lol.

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haha it does sound exciting to do but do you really want to play games to cause more confusion then hefty result trying to make a point? you should just be honest about the whole thing.. tell him how you feel. also sounds like he got trust issues or jelousy.. and if he is adding more girls everytime then your not the only person he is thinking about.. how serious is the relationship?

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the relationship is serious

 

his friends were teasing him abouthow serious we were getting.

 

im pretty sure all the girls are just friends, and if he says they are i'd believe him but when i say a guy is just a friend he asks and asks...i dont now if he is just mesing around. After 10/15 mins of questioning he'll go 'im just messing with ya'.

 

um, he does sort of seem a bit insecure, jealous, possesive type in a few things...

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well you would want some sort of equality in the relationship.. talk to him about it.. even if it doesnt bother you that he adds girls but it bothers you that he gets on you for adding guys even though he checks up on you or what not thats his way of not trying to make things over board. he really is insecure but this is how he likes to comfort his mind. haha i do it to.. but i stopped.

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This dude seems really jealous and is imposing an unfair double standard where it's okay for him to friend girls, but not for you to friend guys. I don't really think it's necessary to create a fake guy since you already know how he's going to react. If he gets possessive over a male co-worker, of course he's gonna react badly when a guy writes "hey baby" all over your wall. To me, this behavior has "red flag" written all over it. A guy who gives you 20 questions every time you add a guy on facebook is either seriously insecure, or is up to something. A man never checks inside the closet unless he has hidden there himself.

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the relationship is serious

 

 

If the relationship is serious, you should feel confident enough talking to him about how you feel about it rather than playing games just to get him riled up. Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable if my boyfriend was adding friends at a ration of 95 women to 5 men, and I would definitely feel I had the right to speak up about it. If he really cares about you and resolving issues in your relationship is important to him, he'll listen to what you have to say and take it seriously. It's not necessary to make a fake account to accomplish that.

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Do people actually serious monitor and count how many 'friends' of the opposite sex their partner adds?

I don't think I've even glanced at my partner's Facebook in a month or two.

 

The idea is petty, and childish. In my opinion.

I see no need for games.

Why create unecessary drama, when its not needed.

Work on your relationship, and your insecurities with each other...don't make them worse.

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Do people actually serious monitor and count how many 'friends' of the opposite sex their partner adds?

I don't think I've even glanced at my partner's Facebook in a month or two.

 

The idea is petty, and childish. In my opinion.

I see no need for games.

Why create unecessary drama, when its not needed.

Work on your relationship, and your insecurities with each other...don't make them worse.

 

while i understand that and i do think 'facebook' creates things that dont exist...partner comments on a female friends status in a flirty way.... he may mean nothng but everybody else may think otherwise... including me...

 

BUT that being said, we dont get to see each other much so our communication is done either via text messages, msn or facebook. its sucks but icant do anything about it.

 

i would love to just drop facebook... i use it to keep in touch with friends...

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i wouldn't make it up, because as metrogirl said, you already know he's going to question you about this guy friend. so, what would your experiment prove? not a lot! what outcome do you want? do you want him to stop adding girls, or to stop questioning you?

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