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My mom is finally going to AA


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I'm so glad to hear it. She can't drive right now b/c of her DUI, and she got laid off her job, and she said she's just sitting in her apartment and feeling like crap all the time. They opened an AA clubhouse 2 blocks from her house where they have meetings daily, so she is starting to go. I'm really happy about this. She said she doesn't want to drink but it's hard not to. I told her that it's ok if she relapses, especially at the beginning, b/c it's normal. So she doesn't need to feel ashamed or like a failure if it happens b/c it might. A close friend of hers has been in the program for quite a while now and is helping her through it (but I'm not sure she's acting as her sponsor).


I'm getting my 2-year chip in Al-Anon next month and I'm so excited. I feel like I've come such a long way, and just being able to TALK to my mom, let alone in a nice tone!, is such a huge step for me. I have a long way to go though, as I'm still working on Step 3 in my program.


I really hope she's able to stick with it and find her spot in the program to get herself help she needs. I know that just her stopping drinking doesn't solve all the problems we've had as a family, but this is a good start. I just need to keep myself grounded enough not to let myself be set back if she does keep drinking or relapses when she gets in the program.


Just getting thoughts out...

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thank you, guys. it's been a lifelong struggle for me. i've done years of estrangement and anger and resentment toward her b/c i always felt like she chose alcohol over me. i've learned she can't exactly help it and that resentments don't get me anywhere except more angry. but thanks to my own program and my sponsor and friends in the program (and venting to this place of course, haha), i've done a lot better with all of that.


my sister is expecting a baby in november and i am moving down toward her next month, and my sister has been quite serious that my mom will not be left alone with the child until she gets herself help. i don't know if that's what's jumpstarting my mom, but regardless of the reason, she's doing it, and that's all that matters.

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treating it like a disease has been the most helpful, though i still struggle with believing it. but telling myself that she can't help it, even if she can (i have no idea, but it's what i choose to believe) keeps me from focusing on my program and getting through my crap b/c i'm too focused on hers. writing it off as a disease definitely keeps me more focused.

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thanks, friend


I could hear it in her voice taht she wants this for herself but it seems like she feels like she's not up to the challenge or something. Even if she does get sober and into a program to help herself, I'll still need to work on myself b/c it won't mean that my problems disappear or that i'll be fixed b/c she's stopped drinking. I remember I used to just wish and wish she'd stop so things woudl be fine, but I know it's much more than that now.

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