I Think Dating Should Be For Adults Only...

[vertigoxo]

I mean, think about it; Kids these days get their hearts broken and mess their lives up because of some stupid immature relationship with another boy/girl. Kids are having sex way too early (and I mean early as in they're not emotionally ready for the consequences) and get hurt physically and emotionally. I just think kids shouldn't date anymore, and should be left for adults only.

 

What do you guys think?

[strategos]

I agree to some degree. But then again what do you define as an adult?

 

I mean it wasn't too long ago when adulthood was effectively 15 and up. In Islam, women may begin to wear the hijab by 9. In Judaism, an adult is from 13.

[amtjrtcet]

22 or after college...I don't think we have enough sense until then to really date.....maybe not even then. At least I didn't.

[vertigoxo]

I agree to some degree. But then again what do you define as an adult?

 

I mean it wasn't too long ago when adulthood was effectively 15 and up. In Islam, women may begin to wear the hijab by 9. In Judaism, and adult is from 13.

 

Yeah, I believe those ages are way too young to have to do anything related to love and sex. Heck, even I sometimes don't think I'm an adult yet and I'm legally am where I live at.

 

I think dating should be for real adults, like 20+. Even though I'm supposingly an "adult", I'm still a "teenager" at the same time.

[strategos]

22 or after college...I don't think we have enough sense until then to really date.....maybe not even then. At least I didn't.

 

That's interesting. Most people don't even know what they want until they approach 30. Should we just not date until then?

 

The real problem is that people don't have an objective to dating. They pursue dating for dating's sake. If there is no objective, you'll never succeed no matter what age.

 

The "dating process" used to be a part of a courtship that led to marriage. Now there is no clear objective to it. Some use it for sex, others for getting a SO, some because other people are doing it, others for marriage.

 

Now I'm not saying that 12-year-olds should be dating. But the age doesn't matter so much but the purpose of it does.

[Jpo]

I respect where you are coming from on this, but in the culture we have now, I do not agree with the sentiment of keeping your kids from dating. My parents attempted that with me to an extreme degree and it gave me more problems than saved me from them. Something I can probably never really forgive them for or at least never forget.

 

I realize I am doing a bit of a straw man here, since you didn't quite say that, but I assume that is what you are getting at. Unless you are proposing a Utopian society where NO one dates until they are a legal adult, but that is really just a pipe dream.

[vertigoxo]

I respect where you are coming from on this, but in the culture we have now, I do not agree with the sentiment of keeping your kids from dating. My parents attempted that with me to an extreme degree and it gave me more problems than saved me from them. Something I can probably never really forgive them for or at least never forget.

 

I realize I am doing a bit of a straw man here, since you didn't quite say that, but I assume that is what you are getting at. Unless you are proposing a Utopian society where NO one dates until they are a legal adult, but that is really just a pipe dream.

 

I'm not saying kids should STAY AWAY from the idea of dating, of course not. I'm saying where say, sex comes in, I think it's way too much for kids and teenagers alike. Our bodies may be ready, but our minds and hearts aren't, know what I mean?

 

I don't mind two kids "dating" where they can be the cute couple at school holding hands and giving little pecks here and there, but kids and teenagers having sex or being "super serious" to someone only for that person to dump them or cheat on them later? Too much pain, I tell you.

 

Serious dating/relationships should be left to adults and adults only! But this is just my opinion, of course.

[amtjrtcet]

I'm not saying kids should STAY AWAY from the idea of dating, of course not. I'm saying where say, sex comes in, I think it's way too much for kids and teenagers alike. Our bodies may be ready, but our minds and hearts aren't, know what I mean?

 

I don't mind two kids "dating" where they can be the cute couple at school holding hands and giving little pecks here and there, but kids and teenagers having sex or being "super serious" to someone only for that person to dump them or cheat on them later? Too much pain, I tell you.

 

Serious dating/relationships should be left to adults and adults only! But this is just my opinion, of course.

 

 

I totally agree with you here. I hated my parents for trying to keep me from dating, but now I wish I would have listened.

[Cheeks18]

I think its totally ok to date, and if it gets to the more serious stuff in time its fine too, thats why were educated on safe sex. I learned so much from my young relationship I was in, yes it hurt, it hurt alot, but I am just more educated and prepared for my next relationship, I know the mistakes I made and I know not to ever make them again. Its a learning expirence and you learn from mistakes, how are kids suppose to learn if they arent given the oppurtunity??

[ghost69]

i think younger should date and parents should be more open. this isn't an issue in the netherlands. they are just fine and open about sex and all of that. they have nudity in commercials and nobody thinks anything of it.

 

wait until if i have a daughter, that will change. lol

[Kantriakhor]

I've seen adults screw up their lives and relationships as much and as often as many kids.

[ur02111222]

I had a teacher propose the idea of giving mandatory relationship classes in schools starting when children are young. They would cover all sorts of relationship issues, take care of health and sex ed requirements. I thought it was a really good idea to teach people at a young age what a healthy relationship should look like. This would be helpful for people who didn't have models of healthy relationships at home.

[rosephase]

Yeah, I believe those ages are way too young to have to do anything related to love and sex. Heck, even I sometimes don't think I'm an adult yet and I'm legally am where I live at.

 

I think dating should be for real adults, like 20+. Even though I'm supposingly an "adult", I'm still a "teenager" at the same time.

 

Some people are never real adults. People mature a different speeds. It's fine to say you shouldn't have dated when you where a kid, but I wouldn't judge anyone else doing it.

 

I had a great relationship between 16 and 18 I wouldn't take it back for anything. I choose to have sex at 16 an have never felt bad about it for a moment.

 

Different people, different choices, different lives. You can't judge other people by your choices.

[forever1130]

I have mixed feelings on this one.

 

Me and my ex started "dating" when I was 16 and it lasted a year and a half. Looking back, I probably wasn't mature enough to deal with it, especially the breakup aspect of it, at such a young age. However, it has helped make me stronger and has shown me what I DONT want in a future relationship. I'm kinda happy that I made some of the mistakes I did early on so that I wont make them again and ruin a relationship that could have more "forever potential"

[vertigoxo]

I don't know. Maybe since because I've been growing up in such a strong Christian family, I feel so strongly about young people having sex when I know they're going to get hurt. Does pain really equals to learning? I understand the hot-stove old question, but kids sometimes don't learn; They keep going around to different people and having their heart brokens again and again.

 

I've had my heart seriously broken three times now, and all I learned is that people are just plain horrible sometimes.

[Ivory_Tower]

I mean, think about it; Kids these days get their hearts broken and mess their lives up because of some stupid immature relationship with another boy/girl. Kids are having sex way too early (and I mean early as in they're not emotionally ready for the consequences) and get hurt physically and emotionally. I just think kids shouldn't date anymore, and should be left for adults only.

 

What do you guys think?

 

Totally! Ages 21 and up!!!

[vertigoxo]

Totally! Ages 21 and up!!!

 

 

Oh you! *tickles*

[rosephase]

 

I've had my heart seriously broken three times now, and all I learned is that people are just plain horrible sometimes.

 

And somehow it would have been better if this happened when you where 25?

 

People can learn or not learn from there mistakes at any age. And yes, 16 seems young. 18 seems young, 25 can seem young. But maybe what you should be saying is "I shouldn't have dated when I was younger" not "people shouldn't date unless they are adults"

 

I know a lot of adults out there that wouldn't count 18 as an adult. I don't think you would enjoy being told that you are not mature enough to make choices for yourself. It goes the same way for people who are under 18.

 

We all grow as we get older. But everyone is the oldest they have ever been right now.

[Tarkan]

i think younger should date and parents should be more open. this isn't an issue in the netherlands. they are just fine and open about sex and all of that. they have nudity in commercials and nobody thinks anything of it.

 

wait until if i have a daughter, that will change. lol

 

 

Ghost, Netherlands is my neighbour country and alot of people from there are complaining about their society being too open.

 

For example: They had a politcal party that wanted to alloud sex at the age of 12. Those guys must have been a group of pedophiles but over there it's in your right to ask these kind of things.

 

I know it looks like paradise over there with a very open society, especially to a country like the US but believe me ... they HAVE severe issues because of it.

 

On topic: The age for being adult is different in every culture and you would never be able to draw the line for all of them. I guess you guys are talking about the western culture when you come up with ages. There are also some people that grow mature much faster then others so are they going to be excluded ?

 

The only thing that is the same for all is puberty and the development of our sexual organs. When that phase is done, we could consider ourselves as adult. This however, doesn't tell anything about how mature you are mentally.

 

Nah I think it is fine like now. People have to experience failure in order to learn. It's like trying to teach a children to not put his hands on the cooking table because it is hot. The child will never learn until the time he will get hurt by doing it. Same goes for dating aswell. Usually we fail at the start and eventually we harden ourselves and gain maturity. This goes with exeptions of course ...

[vertigoxo]

And somehow it would have been better if this happened when you where 25?

 

People can learn or not learn from there mistakes at any age. And yes, 16 seems young. 18 seems young, 25 can seem young. But maybe what you should be saying is "I shouldn't have dated when I was younger" not "people shouldn't date unless they are adults"

 

I know a lot of adults out there that wouldn't count 18 as an adult. I don't think you would enjoy being told that you are not mature enough to make choices for yourself. It goes the same way for people who are under 18.

 

We all grow as we get older. But everyone is the oldest they have ever been right now.

 

I believe adults have better ways to control their emotions and take care of themselves better than teenagers/kids. I mean, think about it, why do you think so many online dating sites only allow 18+ to enter? Could it maybe be that kids really aren't that ready for the consequences of having such a relationship?

 

I am willing to be open minded, but honestly... I have experienced and have seen other young people experience horrible heartbreaks that had led the spiral to horrible coping mechanism, like taking drugs for example.

[HouseKitten]

What are we going to do, completely segregate the sexes until they reach a predetermined age of 'adulthood'?

 

I remember being in junior school and how you still had crushes and 'boyfriends', even if at that age it just meant holding hands on the playground.

 

I had a 'proper' boyfriend when I was 13. It was emotional and confusing and of course when there was all the breaking up it was unpleasant. But there was another boy after that, which went a little better. And another after that, and another after that. I had sex for the first time when I was 17, and I was completely ready. My parents didn't hide the subject from me, and I was curious enough to do my own research as well, so I wasn't expecting a life-changing event. It was just sex. I was realistic about it. If I'd been shielded from it, I probably would have had a very romantic and unrealistic ideal about what it would be like.

 

You can't stop kids falling for each other. Don't you remember what it's like? Yes, it's heady and difficult and it hurts. It's a massive learning experience. 'Protecting' kids from dating and sex, if such a thing were possible, is only going to lead to an adult generation that doesn't have the emotional experience to deal with dating and heartache.

 

Pain teaches us just as much as pleasure does, if not more. You can't bubblewrap kids just because they get hurt. Hurt is part of life, and the sooner they get used to it, the better.

[happyfrank]

I disagree. I started dating at the early age of 14. You learn better with experience how to deal with relationships. No book, teaching can ever replace experience.

I think Parents should be more open about it and talk to them about the experiences they had in the dating world.

[HouseKitten]

I believe adults have better ways to control their emotions and take care of themselves better than teenagers/kids. I mean, think about it, why do you think so many online dating sites only allow 18+ to enter? Could it maybe be that kids really aren't that ready for the consequences of having such a relationship?

 

No. It's because it's not acceptable in a society very concerned about paedophilia to allow adults to chat to kids with the intention of dating. You're on a dating site to meet someone to date. It's not appropriate for underage kids to mix with adults. It's a blanket age, they're not actually saying everyone over 18 is ready and everyone under isn't.

 

I am willing to be open minded, but honestly... I have experienced and have seen other young people experience horrible heartbreaks that had led the spiral to horrible coping mechanism, like taking drugs for example.

 

That's sad but the majority of young people are NOT turning to drugs or self-harm over heartbreak.

[vertigoxo]

That's sad but the majority of young people are NOT turning to drugs or self-harm over heartbreak.

 

You'd be surprised. Where I live, drugs and alcohol are glorified with the kids and teenagers when it comes to hardships in life, including broken hearts. I am not surprised that other young people in other states in my country that does the same thing.

 

That myspace suicide story is a great example, where a 13-14 year old girl commits suicide because a boy she fell in love with told her off. The boy doesn't exist of course, but look what heartbreaks does to children.

[lady00]

I started dating at 19. I honestly can say that, for me, I don't know how I would have survived high school (emotionally and academically) if I had started dating then. Judging from my first relationship, I just would not have been able to handle all of that at a younger age so I am glad I never dated as a kid.

 

That said, everyone is different. I've met some 16 year olds that I am pretty sure could handle way more than I could handle at 16 while still maintaining a perfect 4.0 GPA. I think I matured a bit more slowly than some people.