CocoButter Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I dont know if im being paranoid...did not get much feed back before. What r the signs a guy is pulling away? My boyfriend and I have been together now two months. He asked me to be his gf after one month...the day after we slept together...he usually calls me sweet names and text or calls every day. Now he just calls...HOWEVER the last few weeks he has been traveling so he has not been as attentive...I dont know if it is bc he is pulling away. I saw him in between trips...he came home one night on the way to another business trip.... Anyways...i texted him yest and he just did not reply! I saw him on gchat and wrote to him...he did not reply. Today nothing until like 4pm...he wrote to me on gchat...no sweet names nothing. Would it turn u guys off if a girl mentioned to you that she noticed a change in ur behaviour? He is just acting different and it is making me sad, annoyed.......... If he is pulling away I rather just break up w him...as we are still early and yea ill be bummed but ill get over it fast. I dont want to drag this on and waste my time....when we are together he is affectionate....but not as much as he was two weeks ago..................... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 -less phone calls -doesn't really seem to want to take you out -a lot of 'maybe's or 'we will see' or 'i'll let you know' -you try and make plans and he says he's busy -acting completely different Link to comment
savignon Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 -less phone calls -doesn't really seem to want to take you out -a lot of 'maybe's or 'we will see' or 'i'll let you know' -you try and make plans and he says he's busy -acting completely different That about covers it. No more going out, no more phone calls or long delays in responding to emails/texts/calls. Ghost, you got 'em all! Link to comment
CocoButter Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 Geez...well I guess im half way there......... However, its hard to tell bc the last week he has been travelling and that is when i noticed a change in behaviour... He does not contact me as much... Does not call me the sweet names he used to... The only thing is he confuses me bc when I saw him the one day he was here...he was affectionate...hugging me, holding me the entire night...giving me sweet kisses...and no it was not for sex...bc he did not even try to sleep w me... Is it normal for a guy to pull away and be less attentive...but still act affectionate w u when he sees u? When he saw me he kept telling me sweet things...like u look so sweet, so pure, kind yada yada...but does not call me baby or princess anymore Link to comment
petite Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Ghost hit it right on the nail. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 -less phone calls -doesn't really seem to want to take you out -a lot of 'maybe's or 'we will see' or 'i'll let you know' -you try and make plans and he says he's busy -acting completely different That about covers it. No more going out, no more phone calls or long delays in responding to emails/texts/calls. Ghost, you got 'em all! sorry to be blunt and maybe make this guy look bad, but i know if a girl is starting to get on my nerves i do the whole 'oh gawd, stop texting' when her name comes up. happens quite often. most girls don't understand i actually am a busy person during the week. if they keep bothering me i lose interest. not saying this is what you do. but i start to stop texting back more and more. Link to comment
CocoButter Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 Ghost 69...its kind of like how can i back off more?? In two months I have only initiated a phone call ONCE...he ALWAYS calls me I have only recently started texting....and that is once every other day...yest is the only time I initiated contact twice!!! I dont know what to do........ I cant be in a relationship w a guy if he gets annoyed bc i text once in a while?? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Ghost 69...its kind of like how can i back off more?? In two months I have only initiated a phone call ONCE...he ALWAYS calls me I have only recently started texting....and that is once every other day...yest is the only time I initiated contact twice!!! I dont know what to do........ I cant be in a relationship w a guy if he gets annoyed bc i text once in a while?? wait, i thought your initial inquiry was him pulling away and it was bugging you? now you want to pull away more? hmmm, next time he calls, don't answer, and text back that you can only text cause ur busy. i don't know what type job you have or anything but maybe just say ur busy with work and can't take calls at the moment. texting is much easier when i'm at work. usually i can't talk. Link to comment
savignon Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I don't know what Ghost would say about this (chime in!) ....but I don't buy the whole "I'm so busy" excuse. We're all busy. We make time for what we want to do. I mean, yea, most people don't like to be texted or called ad nauseum, but if you call less and go out less b/c you're "busy"....I think that's just an excuse. We all make time for the things we want to do. Period. Link to comment
CocoButter Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 What do u suggest I do? Start to ignore him?? disappear???????????? i hate playing these games.... im confused right now... but i guess i was not being paranoid...he DEF has backed off... Link to comment
iLiveWithMyMom Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 most girls don't understand i actually am a busy person during the week. if they keep bothering me i lose interest. Yes. Being busy + a needy SO = fail. Most of the time, when a guy says he's busy, he ACTUALLY is busy. I mean, occasionally when a guy says he's busy, he could be trying to pull away or cheat on you, but more than likely, he's just busy and needs some space. Guys aren't like women. We tend to push people away and want to be alone in times of stress vs running home for support. Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I don't know what Ghost would say about this (chime in!) ....but I don't buy the whole "I'm so busy" excuse. We're all busy. We make time for what we want to do. I mean, yea, most people don't like to be texted or called ad nauseum, but if you call less and go out less b/c you're "busy"....I think that's just an excuse. We all make time for the things we want to do. Period. i agree with this. With an ex of mine he would call just 'whenever'. I asked my brother what he thought and I listen to him. He's quite the ladys man himself. He said if a guy really likes you they "MAKE" time for you no matter how busy he may be. For example: my bother is active duty in Helmand Valley right now, but he still makes time to call his girlfriend at least once a wk. No one can say they're busier then him, and he still finds time to call her. And they only started dating a few months before he left. Link to comment
savignon Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 he still makes time to call his girlfriend at least once a wk. No one can say they're busier then him, and he still finds time to call her. And they only started dating a few months before he left. Exactly!! I always use the example of 2 of my girlfriends....they've both just finished med school and are working 24 hour shifts...nobody is busier or more tired and yet they still make time for dating, friends, going out, texting, calling, emailing, Facebook, a night out, a day at the beach.... Link to comment
CocoButter Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 Ghost...the only reason I saw pull away is bc I feel like my bf is pulling away....i dont know what else to do...plus I dont want to bug him!!! He used to be more attentive...meaning texting and showing me more attention...I dont know if its bc he been busy w travels the last week or what....but his behavior when he is away from me has changed.... When i saw him yest he was sweet in person........... However, not that he has been away he been acting different...less sweet then he used to act when we were not together....dont know if its bc he is in different country or what Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I don't know what Ghost would say about this (chime in!) ....but I don't buy the whole "I'm so busy" excuse. We're all busy. We make time for what we want to do. I mean, yea, most people don't like to be texted or called ad nauseum, but if you call less and go out less b/c you're "busy"....I think that's just an excuse. We all make time for the things we want to do. Period. What do u suggest I do? Start to ignore him?? disappear???????????? i hate playing these games.... im confused right now... but i guess i was not being paranoid...he DEF has backed off... i agree with this. With an ex of mine he would call just 'whenever'. I asked my brother what he thought and I listen to him. He's quite the ladys man himself. He said if a guy really likes you they "MAKE" time for you no matter how busy he may be. For example: my bother is active duty in Helmand Valley right now, but he still makes time to call his girlfriend at least once a wk. No one can say they're busier then him, and he still finds time to call her. And they only started dating a few months before he left. this is all true to a certain extent. i like the time i have during the weekdays to do what i need to. priorities are: 1st-work 2nd-school (if in session) 3rd-the gym if any girl can understand that any free time after all of that i'd more than likely dedicate to them if i dig them, then i'm sold and i'll date them. usually i hear 'skip the gym and come over' 'you can study tomorrow or on the weekend'. they just don't get it. this makes me bail quickly. if i get home later after the gym and all that, then yeah, let's do something. i will make time after that. but i've even had girls back off saying i'm too busy. well, too bad. more girls out there just as busy as me that understand. Link to comment
RideOn Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 For me it's just a gut feeling when someone is pulling away from me. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Ghost...the only reason I saw pull away is bc I feel like my bf is pulling away....i dont know what else to do...plus I dont want to bug him!!! He used to be more attentive...meaning texting and showing me more attention...I dont know if its bc he been busy w travels the last week or what....but his behavior when he is away from me has changed.... When i saw him yest he was sweet in person........... However, not that he has been away he been acting different...less sweet then he used to act when we were not together....dont know if its bc he is in different country or what sounds to me like you are playing the game. he was attentive before and it bothered you. now that he's not showing you that attention it's bugging you. well, just hit him up and see if he wants to do something or grab a bite to eat and come over and hang out. tell him you have a surprise and when he comes over bang his lights out cause you missed him. i wouldn't show too much attention towards him to get him back to what you considered 'normal' but you need to show more from your end. it could be that you didn't show enough previously and he's just like 'ehhh, she's not that into me.' Link to comment
Ms. Madame Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 He got a hold on something new and it's consuming him. Not hard to realize when he was the one chasing in the start of things. He is losing intrest and he assumes you are "Stuck" so why bother doing the things he done to get you when he can have and keep you right in the slot you are in. I would fall back from him and keep him "busy" on you. It's crazy because when we females are in love it consumes us and we really don't want to play games but it's worth it to be able to keep your man in check and always wanting more. Link to comment
savignon Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 1st-work 2nd-school (if in session) 3rd-the gym if any girl can understand that any free time after all of that i'd more than likely dedicate to them if i dig them, then i'm sold and i'll date them. Has there ever been a girl that you thought to yourself, "damn, I don't care if I lose sleep or am late to work or miss a workout...I have GOT to see her!!" OP, when is his trip over? If he's still keeping in touch on the trip and was affectionate when he saw you, I wouldn't be raising red flags yet. If once he's back, he's still "busy" all the time, then I'd imagine he's losing interest. I think if he spent his one free night between trips with you, then that's a good sign Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 BUT...if you really really really liked her, if she was 'the one'...I bet you'd make a little more time for her....huh? Personally I expect nothing less. I'm not dating around anymore, if it doesn't have potential for FOREVER, then I'm not messing with it. exactly what i look for now. if forever is potential, i'm game. but it will be a girl that more than likely will hit the gym with me. 1st-work 2nd-school (if in session) 3rd-the gym if any girl can understand that any free time after all of that i'd more than likely dedicate to them if i dig them, then i'm sold and i'll date them. Has there ever been a girl that you thought to yourself, "damn, I don't care if I lose sleep or am late to work or miss a workout...I have GOT to see her!!" OP, when is his trip over? If he's still keeping in touch on the trip and was affectionate when he saw you, I wouldn't be raising red flags yet. If once he's back, he's still "busy" all the time, then I'd imagine he's losing interest. I think if he spent his one free night between trips with you, then that's a good sign yes, and i became out of shape because of it and i will never do that again. my lifestyle is this. if she cannot tailor to it, why would i sacrifice anything for her? Link to comment
CocoButter Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 sounds to me like you are playing the game. he was attentive before and it bothered you. now that he's not showing you that attention it's bugging you. well, just hit him up and see if he wants to do something or grab a bite to eat and come over and hang out. tell him you have a surprise and when he comes over bang his lights out cause you missed him. i wouldn't show too much attention towards him to get him back to what you considered 'normal' but you need to show more from your end. it could be that you didn't show enough previously and he's just like 'ehhh, she's not that into me.' that is not true...i loved it when he treated me like a princess and was very receptive...i just did not initiate stuff...but i was sweet back and the way he treated me....is exactly what made me like him more! now that he is not treating me as nice...makes me sad.... well if he was in town we would hang out! the one day he was in town we hung out....well at his place anyways bc he came home and basically had to pack...so we made dinner together and he packed while i watched tv and then spent night cuddling till he had to leave early morning for flight... my problem is i want him to go back to being more attentive...maybe he started to back off bc i didnt say sweet things to him or call him baby??? im not sure....but does not mean he should ignore my text andnot pay as much attention to me when he away on business trip! Link to comment
iLiveWithMyMom Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 He said if a guy really likes you they "MAKE" time for you no matter how busy he may be. For example: my bother is active duty in Helmand Valley right now, but he still makes time to call his girlfriend at least once a wk. No one can say they're busier then him, and he still finds time to call her. And they only started dating a few months before he left. Not trying to speak for your brother, but this plays a big part in it, too. Every guy is willing to move mountains to be with someone they're really into during the honeymoon phase, but I don't think it's fair to judge your man forever by those standards. Relationships evolve. Link to comment
CocoButter Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 He got a hold on something new and it's consuming him. Not hard to realize when he was the one chasing in the start of things. He is losing intrest and he assumes you are "Stuck" so why bother doing the things he done to get you when he can have and keep you right in the slot you are in. I would fall back from him and keep him "busy" on you. It's crazy because when we females are in love it consumes us and we really don't want to play games but it's worth it to be able to keep your man in check and always wanting more. i highly doubt he found someone else...he invited me back to italy to meet his parents etc...that was 10 days ago...after that trip he went on a guy weekend trip hunting...which is when i started notice him pulling back and now he went to switzerland for a business trip.... arghhhh i hate men sometiems Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Not trying to speak for your brother, but this plays a big part in it, too. Every guy is willing to move mountains to be with someone they're really into during the honeymoon phase, but I don't think it's fair to judge your man forever by those standards. Relationships evolve. true but the op said they've only been dating for a few months right? So if he's already backing off, then in my opinion he's just not that into it. Link to comment
CocoButter Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 Not trying to speak for your brother, but this plays a big part in it, too. Every guy is willing to move mountains to be with someone they're really into during the honeymoon phase, but I don't think it's fair to judge your man forever by those standards. Relationships evolve. We only been together 2 months...honey moon phase should still be here!!!!!!! Maybe I expect too much? I mean...all I want is for him to act the way he did early on....why do guys freaking change once the girl likes him?? We want u to keep treating us nicely... Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.