Need a quick translation...

[JasonQ]

I cant tell whats up with this girl. Here is the story:

 

-She tried hard to get me her number. I finally called her. We went out.

-Week or so later we go out twice.

-For the next 2/3 weeks I try to get her to go out again, and she is always BUSY she says. Even though she talks about doing stuff... it seems like excuses.

-Finally get tired of 'begging' to go out and straight up ask her what the deal was and if she liked me. Told her I liked her. She says yes, but LETS JUST BE FRIENDS for now.

-2 weeks later she starts talking small talk.

-Now recommends we go and see a band play and that she will take off work. I have since agreed. She says we are "hanging out." (as friends?)

 

 

I like her and I dont know what she is trying to do here??? I cant read what is going on. Why all of a sudden would she make time to "hang out"? I just dont get it. I want it to be more than friends, and I want it to be a DATE.

 

So what is your take? What should I do?

[tastytoothpaste]

She said she just wants to be friends. If I was even remotely interested in dating a guy, I would not say that. Sounds like she's just gonna lead you on again.

[tastytoothpaste]

On second thought, she might just wanna take things really really slow and start out as friends...

 

Still though, I put my money on "she's not interested"

[Sunflour]

Sounds like she decided after the first date that she's not attracted to you romantically. Too bad, but it happens. I'd move on, if I were you.

[anggrace]

She just wants to get to know you better at a slow pace. Try not to worry so much about it. Just go out with her and have fun.

[quirky]

I would say that if

1) I liked the guy but didn't reaaaally desire him

2) I liked the guy but had just come out of a very painful break up

[DN]

She is wasting your time and energy - go look for someone who is interested in you romantically.

[Dubb]

It's hard to really tell what some women are thinking. If she is saying friends, make her live with that. I personally would of changed it around on her but I do things for the social experiment aspect some times. You have to be willing to lose her completely to do something like that. For instance, I would go hang out with her and let her see me picking women up. I would later tell her "i'm so glad we are just friends, we make better friends. You and I would of never worked out romantically." Am I playing games? Yeah, a bit.. but sometimes it's the only way to build attraction with a girl after it has dwindled.

 

Another thing you should be doing is meeting other women. Options make these situations less likely and easier to deal with.

[tastytoothpaste]

It's hard to really tell what some women are thinking. If she is saying friends, make her live with that. I personally would of changed it around on her but I do things for the social experiment aspect some times. You have to be willing to lose her completely to do something like that. For instance, I would go hang out with her and let her see me picking women up. I would later tell her "i'm so glad we are just friends, we make better friends. You and I would of never worked out romantically." Am I playing games? Yeah, a bit.. but sometimes it's the only way to build attraction with a girl after it has dwindled.

 

hahaha that's the quickest way to make a girl want you.

[strategos]

She says yes, but LETS JUST BE FRIENDS for now.

 

That pretty much said it all.

 

There are some exceptions to this. But they would have to be defined, early. But normally, this would be as clear as possible as to intentions.

[waveseer]

The only way you can hang out with her is if you don't really care either way. The only way not to really care either way is to be interested in other women at the same time.

[JasonQ]

It's hard to really tell what some women are thinking. If she is saying friends, make her live with that. .

 

Another thing you should be doing is meeting other women. Options make these situations less likely and easier to deal with.

 

 

I have thought about that myself. Not as far as going after other girls while she is there, but making her realize that this is NOT a date, and that she is not getting the benefits of it being a date. Not sure how I would do that, but im scheming.

 

As for meeting other women. I think this is why this one is so hard for me to begin with. I am pretty shy and have a hard time meeting other women. So for her to do the legwork at the beginning (pretty heavy) by giving me her number, etc. It made me feel like I had a good chance. I cant seem to just go up and talk to women out of the blue. So thats just hard.

[JasonQ]

An update...

 

I "hung out" with her last week.

 

We had fun and things were spontaneous. She acted like she enjoyed it and whatnot, even made comments about movies that were coming out and this that and the other.

 

I felt like I had a chance again. I knew she had to work the next day, but I was doing something that evening and asked if she would like to come after work. She acted like she was going to try and come because she was putting it in her GPS to see if where it was. Ended up, never making it... I feel skeptical.

 

When we were hanging out, she had said something about going to a concert (or two) and one is coming up. I told her I would buy tickets, only to find out... she has to work (she says). She had planned on going with one of her friends, so I dont know if she fed me a story or not....

 

At any rate, I feel like I want this to be over if its not going to work. I think I know what is going on and I am being strung along. Maybe she truly is busy, but I just dont believe it.

 

I really really like her, and have told her once, and feel like telling her again. I am not sure if ignoring her will work. It is a part of the game that I dont want to play.

 

I feel like its lose lose. If I ignore her, then she could go away and be gone. Or she could come back, only to repeat this cycle.

 

 

HOW DO I LET THIS GO? It is having mental and physical effects on me. I cant concentrate at work!

[Timbone]

Anyone playing games like that with you is not worth your time and attention as she clearly does not respect you in the same way that you respect her.

 

There will be other fish in the sea, this one is too small for you. Throw her back. If you catch her again, throw her back.

[RedWingsFan]

She said friends. That's what it is. I go to concerts with my friends. I grab coffee with them. Male or female - doesn't matter.

 

You're crushing on her big time. We've all been there. I was there back in March/April. During those two months I was bombarded with mixed signals. The confusion is simply frustrating, however, you are the one making it frustrating. She said friends.

 

Some people can handle being friends with past/current romantic interests. Ask yourself if you can (sounds like you can't - you need to get over her...best done by meeting someone else...worked for me! Now I actually do see that girl in a platonic sense).