ellie999 Posted July 22, 2009 Author Share Posted July 22, 2009 Way too much for a text. Way to much. The bold part is all you need. The "if not just dont respond" part is always a bad idea, because it gives them a way out of acknowleding your message and keeps you wondering. i tried the bold part last night, and it was avoided, i just want to get my feelings out there. and ya it gives her a way out, which is ok, because if she doesnt want to be with me at all, then i need to know, this basically gives her only two options, in or out. and if its in, im happy, and if its out, she doesnt have to respond, which is fine, because id rather not hear a reason for a no. And the first part sounds way too much like "Hey Im great with out you!!!" she will see right through that. If lifes so great, why ya hanging around waiting for me??? no i am fine without her, thats the thing. i wouldnt be sending this to her if i felt like i needed her, otherwise i know that i wouldnt be ready to send this. this is extremely truthful. theres nothing to see through. and i know she knows that. im as genuine as it gets, i dont play games. im only hanging around because no matter how great im doing, i do love her. because this way even if she doesnt respond i put it out there and i left nothing on the table. Link to comment
Puckdog27 Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 If you tried last night, then your feelings are out there. To continue to put them out there is to continue to push. And if you are fine without her, stop pushing. Patience and wait for her, or move on. Yes she dumped you and you shouldnt have to wait. But she isnt the one on ENA asking how to get you back. So wait or move on. Link to comment
Puckdog27 Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 And dont forget, she respected your request not to contact you last week. Respect her request to talk in person when she is ready. It takes two Link to comment
Brownstone322 Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 Asking to talk when she is on the fence about it will be seen as pressure. She's a woman and anything short of a "yes" should be looked at as a "no". Women hate hurting people's feelings so they are reluctant to flat out say no and will beat around the bush on it. However a yes will come easy. I agree with that. The fact she "would rather stick to text" translates to "I don't really want to see you, at least not yet." Link to comment
Puckdog27 Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 I agree with that. The fact she "would rather stick to text" translates to "I don't really want to see you, at least not yet." Yep its called dipping a toe in the water. Its up to him if he wants to wait for her to dive in. Link to comment
majord23 Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 She made herself vulnerable and stepped forward. Her suggestion of keeping things at a 'text level' is both a way of regaining control and also keeping the OP at arms length. This could be for any number of reasons, including the possibility that things aren't completely over (in her mind at least) with the other guy. Either way, I would be giving this girl a very wide berth for the time-being. The more you analyze and hypothesize what your next move should be...the deeper you will find yourself being dragged back into a hyper-emotive and precarious situation. Link to comment
bexcelant Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 so im thinking of sending her a text "hey. xxxxx what i wanted to talk you about last night was just a little about life. im really doing incredible, and so happy all of the time, i have never felt so complete and confident and motivated about life, but i still stand by everything i said in my letter, despite whats happened, and i do want to fight for you. with all my heart i want to fight for you. and i want to just step up and go for it but in no way want to pressure you. ill be in youre neighborhood at my uncles all night tonight, and if you want to get together and talk id really like that, but if not, just dont respond to this and have a great rest of the summer. " Ellie, Ok, I have a suggestion since you're both on the fence. Send a note and tell her that you think her idea is good. Tell her that she can call you tomorrow, or next year whatever is comfortable for her. I think we are going to have to go back to the Squirrel analogy. She came up, almost took the nut from your hand and then ran away. Now you're going to have to take another nut...put it on the ground and stand back. Link to comment
JonasWaingaro Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 Ellie, Ok, I have a suggestion since you're both on the fence. Send a note and tell her that you think her idea is good. Tell her that she can call you tomorrow, or next year whatever is comfortable for her. I think we are going to have to go back to the Squirrel analogy. She came up, almost took the nut from your hand and then ran away. Now you're going to have to take another nut...put it on the ground and stand back. I'm going to resist posting a link to the squirrel fishing site. Good point though. Link to comment
Puckdog27 Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 She made herself vulnerable and stepped forward. Her suggestion of keeping things at a 'text level' is both a way of regaining control and also keeping the OP at arms length. This could be for any number of reasons, including the possibility that things aren't completely over (in her mind at least) with the other guy. Either way, I would be giving this girl a very wide berth for the time-being. The more you analyze and hypothesize what your next move should be...the deeper you will find yourself being dragged back into a hyper-emotive and precarious situation. I agree, this all gets way over analyzed. Sometime you just gotta roll with it. Link to comment
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