Ivory_Tower Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 I think I've been doing okay these last few weeks with moving on from my ex and learning not to be as bothered by fickle friends. But lately, I've also felt really numb when I think about these two things. I've only had one other boyfriend and when he and I broke up my emotions were everywhere. I could cry at the drop of a hat and be depressed for months on end. As far as my friends go I have really had to let go of some friendships this year because they just weren't good for me. Others have proven to be fickle, and I learned to rely on them less and less. I guess its good that I at least learned to rely on myself more. My ex turned out to be a fickly person too. I guess I'm just wondering why I can't cry and I feel so numb lately. Is it because I have learned to move on quicker, or is it that I am so hurt I am beyond the point of crying. Is that possible? Has anyone ever been so hurt by people in general that they couldn't even cry? Link to comment
kevinm Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Sounds to me like you are learning about your own inner strength Are you a person who tends to define yourself with your relationships? Are you happy with yourself? -Kevin Link to comment
onewithbooks Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 I think you feel numb because you subconsciouly have spent all the emotion that you are going to spend on this issue. You have nothing left to mourn. You felt the sad and cried the tears. At some point the tears do stop and that is when you look up and look around and stand up and put one foot in front of the other. It sounds like you might be ready to stand up. Link to comment
Ivory_Tower Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 Sounds to me like you are learning about your own inner strength Are you a person who tends to define yourself with your relationships? Are you happy with yourself? -Kevin Nah, I never defined myself in terms of relationships. I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was almost twenty, haha. I think I am pretty content with how I am. My self esteem is kind of average. Link to comment
kevinm Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 All good things IT I agree with onewithbooks... it sounds like you're in a healthy place actually. At the end of the day there are VERY few people who you can really trust. -Kevin Link to comment
Ivory_Tower Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 I think you feel numb because you subconsciouly have spent all the emotion that you are going to spend on this issue. You have nothing left to mourn. You felt the sad and cried the tears. At some point the tears do stop and that is when you look up and look around and stand up and put one foot in front of the other. It sounds like you might be ready to stand up. Yeah, I feel like I've already cried as much as I can about the issue. Perhaps I am over being hurt because my ex was so disrespectful to me? I think I am also very disappointed in some of my former friends. That hurts, but I have started to realize I don't need people like that in my life. I think I may also be comparing the situation with my second ex to the one with my first ex. He was my first real boyfriend and I had a lot of first with that guy. He cheated on me and broke my heart. Keep in mind that was the only experience I have ever had with a relationship. I remember mourning over it for about six months. The crying seemed endless, and I lost a bunch of weight and felt really * * * * ty about myself. Maybe my self-esteem is in a much better place with the second ex? His poor treatment of me and lack of care about my feelings MIGHT be more helpful in the process of moving on. As for my friends, that still hurts, but I have tried to let it go. I have no expectations of any of them now and I find I'm not as disappointed. Link to comment
onewithbooks Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 I think right now you are just stepping out of the natural mourning process and now you finding yourself in a place where you just want to protect yourself by putting up barriers (i.e. having no expectations). This is good and a natural part of the healing process. Just remember after awhile, when you have healed some, its ok to let a few walls down. All the best, owb Link to comment
civilservant Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 I think right now you are just stepping out of the natural mourning process and now you finding yourself in a place where you just want to protect yourself by putting up barriers (i.e. having no expectations). This is good and a natural part of the healing process. Just remember after awhile, when you have healed some, its ok to let a few walls down. All the best, owb Good advice. It's a gradual porcess, but it will happen. Link to comment
ellandroader Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 I know how you feel Ivory. I was quite alarmed at how numb I became because I am quite an "heart on sleeve" type of guy and all of a sudden, I just stopped caring, and feeling. I ws disappointed at how fickle people became too. I was even told by one that I had to find the answers myself, after I had listened hours on end to her in the past. It's an natural feeling, to be numb. Part of the process I am led to believe but sometimes, it just hurts too much otherwise. Link to comment
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