bi-hating lesbians

[AKittyGoesMoo]

That's interesting! Maybe it's just the type of friends I have, but a few of my lesbian girlfriends have ONLY dated bisexuals or girls who were uncertain of their sexuality. One friend in particular always goes after what she calls "lipstick lesbians." Her definition of that is girls who have never been in a female-female relationship before. I think this friend in particular likes the feeling of taking someone under her wing and nurturing her fledgling sexuality. It's interesting to hear someone with a completely different life perspective than me!!

 

Good luck with your situation. There isn't a justifiable reason. Maybe we can relate this to politics. Some people get so mad at me when I say I hold moderate political beliefs. They tell me that being a "moderate" means you don't take a stand. Maybe lesbians feel like you're not...taking...a....stand?

 

I tried.

[onthebound]

LOL you're funny, akittygoesmoo. i have heard of lesbians going after only bis, straight girls and newly outted girls. i don't think that's what lipstick lesbian means though. lipstick lesbian is just another word for femmes.

[ay0_x]

I hate this attitude. I've experienced it and I hate it.

 

I'm bi, I've been rejected by lesbians who've thought I was going through a phase/faking it/going to leave them for a guy.. It hurts. Seriously. It shows that they dont trust my integrity or my honesty and that's not a happy thought.

 

I also think it's very dangerous because it leads to bisexual girls thinking they need to either be straight or gay, and it leads to surpressed sexuality. Which in turn leads to confusion, self hatred or could even lead to homophobia.

 

As a bisexual I've also lived with the discrimination that gays face and sometimes even more. People have said to my face "its ok to be gay or straight, but bi? You're a fake/slu*t/attention seeker/liar". This includes gay people.

 

Never mind evolution and the fact that most primates are bisexual...

[onthebound]

thank you, ay0. i feel exactly the same way. i have not, to my knowledge, been personally passed over by a lesbian due to my bisexuality, but i haven't been out of the closet that long either. however, all the time i hear lesbians hating on bi girls -- even on popular mediums such as the L word -- and i'm tired of it. we just don't seem to get much respect. i've said for a while now that we get even more crap than the gays do. the only ones who get it worse than us are the transgendered people. the straights think we're too gay and the gays think we're too straight lol we just can't win sometimes.

[greywolf]

thank you, ay0. i feel exactly the same way. i have not, to my knowledge, been personally passed over by a lesbian due to my bisexuality, but i haven't been out of the closet that long either. however, all the time i hear lesbians hating on bi girls -- even on popular mediums such as the L word -- and i'm tired of it. we just don't seem to get much respect. i've said for a while now that we get even more crap than the gays do. the only ones who get it worse than us are the transgendered people. the straights think we're too gay and the gays think we're too straight lol we just can't win sometimes.

 

It's because we don't really belong anywhere. The straights don't accept us, the gays don't accept us either...and for some reason there's not really a bisexual culture out there to belong to. lol

[onthebound]

It's because we don't really belong anywhere. The straights don't accept us, the gays don't accept us either...and for some reason there's not really a bisexual culture out there to belong to. lol

 

but isn't that kinda the idea? i mean sure it would be nice to have our own little bi culture.. but the whole idea of being bi is that we accept EVERYONE, and it would be nice to get the same respect in return. we're just as much a part of the LGBTQ acronym as any other group, and i am tired of people acting like we don't or shouldn't even exist.

 

delaware pride isn't until september, and i will damn sure be marching in BOTH the lesbian AND bi sections. if they'll let me get on a float with a bull horn and preach acceptance, i'll do that too lol.

[onthebound]

i would like to take this time to mention that freddie mercury was not gay, he was bisexual.

 

it doesn't have much to do with anything, other than to illustrate the potential awesomeness of bisexuals.

[NKP]

Ok well a few months ago iv came out that i am now a lesbian, now amitted it to myself and to everyone else. But i wouldnt date a someone thats bi, just cuz i know alot of mates that are bi and they have always said they need penis and couldnt live without it and that they will always end up with a male. My gf is a lesbian and i really dont think i could ever be with a woman that is bi. Bi woman are just not for me.

[bingedrinking]

they have always said they need penis and couldnt live without it and that they will always end up with a male.

 

They actually said that? I find that hard to believe

[greywolf]

Ok well a few months ago iv came out that i am now a lesbian, now amitted it to myself and to everyone else. But i wouldnt date a someone thats bi, just cuz i know alot of mates that are bi and they have always said they need penis and couldnt live without it and that they will always end up with a male. My gf is a lesbian and i really dont think i could ever be with a woman that is bi. Bi woman are just not for me.

 

I hate to judge, but that would honestly make me doubt their bisexuality. It makes them sound like girls that hook up with other girls just because it's the 'in' thing these days.

[1WayTicket2Norway]

But i wouldnt date a someone thats bi, just cuz i know alot of mates that are bi and they have always said they need penis and couldnt live without it and that they will always end up with a male.

 

One of my bisexual friends actually said the same thing once. even though she is attracted to women, she could never see herself being in an exclusive relationship with a woman.

[ay0_x]

I hate to judge, but that would honestly make me doubt their bisexuality. It makes them sound like girls that hook up with other girls just because it's the 'in' thing these days.

 

I agree. And I doubt their bisexuality too.

[Annapanna]

I dated a "Bi" girl once. And she hurt me. But the fact was, she WAS confused, I think she was only "bi curious" and found out she was not into girls after she dated me. After that, I have to admit, I sometimes see a bi girl as confused or bi curious, maybe thinks being with a girl is something exciting.

[ColorBlue]

Maaan, I always miss the good bisexual threads. Gaw'dang. I'll just add in my hurt bisexual feelings as well, although I've never experienced it firsthand. It still bothers me though. The whole promiscuous stereotype, that there's no way anyone could trust a bisexual in a relationship since they'd just leave you in the end. It doesn't help there's shows like..Well I guess there's only one, but its that uhh Tequila of love girl? It doesn't really help the general public's point of view when all they really learn about bisexuals is people like Tequila. She's got like, 10 guys and 10 girls that she's flirting around with, making out with, completely "undecided and ripped up" about all these men and women that she can't make a decision over. Uuuugh. I KNOW there's bisexuals like that, but there's also gay and straight people like that. It's just weird that it's not considered the same thing when applied to bisexuals. The rule, in most peoples minds, is that bisexuals are promiscuous, just because "we have way more options than straight and gay people". So, haha, I didn't really add in anything new, just a rant =].

 

EDIT:

Forgot sum stuff. Then there's that whole cool thing where its cool to be called bisexual for some reason, as a girl at least. I guess it's seen as hot to the guys, so maybe that's what it's all about, and it adds even more suspicion onto the real bisexuals when we've got all these fakies around. Kinda backfires on them though, when the guy tries to get them to get into a threesome with another girl though...

[mikamuffin22]

I know how you feel XD I'm bisexual, and I think it's just silly to dislike or reject someone over it. When you're with someone, you're with THEM, no one else, your sexuality shouldn't even matter when in a relationship, should it? I also think it's the few girls out there that give bisexuality a bad name, like my best friend/sorta ex; She claims to be bi, but people like her--which Ive had friends like this before--they say one thing, maybe just to be different or look cool, or maybe it's because other girls listen and give you more comfort than guys, but in reality, that little spark you get when you REALLY have the hots for someone, or love them, just isn't there for girls, you know? These types of girls you can't trust to be with because those are the ones who will go a million times more gaga over a guy hitting on them than a girl, and they're what give the REAL bisexuals a bad name. Me, personally, I just like both, as equally as anyone could, and if I'm going to be with someone, no matter what gender they may be, if we really connect, then it shouldn't matter. That goes for everyone, labels and stuff like that are meaningless when you really like someone, any chick who says other wise is obviously not the one for you.

[ay0_x]

Tila is a harlot. Seriously. She is a disgusting example of bisexuality.

 

Thank you, MTV

[Jadeyy..x]

I am fully gay and i would date a bi person, but i admit i prefer girls who are also fully gay. I just prefer her to have the same sexuality as me.

[greywolf]

Tila is a harlot. Seriously. She is a disgusting example of bisexuality.

 

Thank you, MTV

 

Honestly, this made me cringe a bit. In this thread we're talking about how we wish people wouldn't judge bisexuals, and then we go judge and insult someone bisexual.

 

I may not agree with what she does, but it's her body and she can do what she wants with it.

[bjnicole05]

Hmmm...I am a lesbian and I personally fall for the person not the label. I find myself in all of these relationships that never last with "straight" and "bi" girls, and for some reason the ones that I get tied up with are always just confused and unsure if it's a male or a female that they actually want to be with, most girl on girl relationships arent taken seriously or better yet arent respected...So you always have the "can i joins" from men and usually in my experience(keeping in mind that your situations are different) the "bi" girls are the ones to laugh and joke and play it off turning themselves into some sort of gay sex symbol or a lesbian conquest for men. And if driven hard enough they'll fall...You know what I mean? I hope this helps....

[ay0_x]

Honestly, this made me cringe a bit. In this thread we're talking about how we wish people wouldn't judge bisexuals, and then we go judge and insult someone bisexual.

 

I may not agree with what she does, but it's her body and she can do what she wants with it.

 

Homo/biphobia is different from judging a CERTAIN person for CERTAIN ACTS that she's committed.

 

I'm not going to support Tila because she's bisexual. Screw that. She's not a decent girl. Her songs are ridiculously promiscuous, she loves using promiscuity as a "shock" factor, she lacks talent, she's not all that beautiful.. and the silly s who sign up to her show, go through a world of hurt. The whole Brandy & Vanessa thing is ridiculous.

 

If she was a plain gutter skank I wouldn't care, but she's kissing people, and making them fall in love with her. Her actions are immoral to me.

 

If I supported her actions and didn't say anything bad about her because I was bisexual, I wouldn't even blame straight or gay people for thinking badly of bisexuals.

[greywolf]

It has nothing to do with us or her being bisexual. It has to do with how women should be allowed to do whatever they want with their bodies without other women judging them.

 

My point was that I just found it ironic that we don't like being judged and then we go and judge someone that doesn't live up to our standards.

[LolaBella]

Okay, not lesbian or bi, just thought this was an interesting topic because I've heard lesbians say this before.

 

But, to exclude bisexual women because they go back to their husbands/boyfriends etc really what difference does it make, a lesbian can leave you for another woman if she is not the commitment type

[LolaBella]

Actually, it's not very likely for two women to transmit an STI to each other.

 

 

I also heard some lesbians don't like being with women who have been with men because they dont have the best hygiene when it comes to the vagina; apparently women who sleep with men do not smell good down down there nor shave as much because men don't care and think the cootie is supposed to smell

[laurarh]

I can see it from a lot of points of view, but I do think it's wrong. Personally, I'm in a somewhat bi "phase" for lack of a better word. I think for some people it is just a transitional, experimental phase between deciding if you are truly gay or straight. Others I believe can go there whole lives open to being with a man or a woman. But for that reason I think a lot of gay people do see bisexuality as fake, along with the fact that many people abuse it as a label to seem cool or attract the opposite sex. In my situation, I've always been attracted to girls, but just never met any specific girl that I liked, so only dated guys. I just got out of a bad six-year relationship and feel at this point I want nothing to do with men, but I'm not sure if I'd go as far as saying I am completely lesbian. This may be bisexuality, or may just be due to the fact that I was hurt badly by a man so would prefer women, but am not completely ready to date at all yet, so I'm just confused right now. I definitely do not think bisexuality is fake as some people do, but I think there are various forms and degrees of bisexuality. When it comes to gays not wanting to date bisexuals, I do not think it has to do with being scared of being more hurt by a woman leaving a woman for a man or vice versa, but simply that your chances of being cheated on are doubled as there are twice as many people for your partner to potentially be attracted to. I was always somewhat suspicious that my boyfriend was gay or bi, and I felt like I would be less hurt if he ever left me for another guy than girl, probably because I would see it as him fulfilling his need to experiment rather than finding someone of the same sex as me who he thought was better. But still with my suspicion I was equally paranoid, and double worried, about him finding someone else. So basically I don't think there is one straight answer for this question, and there are probably many more reasons I did not think of, but I hope that helps.

[ay0_x]

It has nothing to do with us or her being bisexual. It has to do with how women should be allowed to do whatever they want with their bodies without other women judging them.

 

My point was that I just found it ironic that we don't like being judged and then we go and judge someone that doesn't live up to our standards.

 

Men and women should both be judged for their actions. Being promiscuous is a lifestyle choice. Being gay or bi is not.