goldenkey Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 I really want to start a discussion about views toward marijuana. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and have known each other for years before that. When we were friends, he smoked marijuana a few times. He only did it with friends and he never bought any. He did it no more than five times but he still did it and I was not okay with it. Right before we got together, he promised me (without me asking him to) that he wouldn't ever smoke again. Over a year later and he has still kept his promise... But, he asks me why I'm so against it. And he has told me his side of the story. I've done research as well. And I'm starting to think that the only reason why I'm against it is because it is illegal. My boyfriend wants me to try it so I can gain a better perspective. I'm just stuck. I'm stuck between my beliefs and morals and the truth. Why is it that marijuana is illegal and alcohol is not?? Both mess with your perception of everything. Both can be very harmful...and not just to yourself. I think you get the point. But I just don't understand it. I'm not against drinking. I think the drinking age should be 18. So why is marijuana so bad?? This is just the beginning to all my questions about the good and bad of smoking marijuana. I would really like to hear advice and comments from others. I want to hear what others believe. I really want people to be open-minded and really think. Maybe I'll find out that I shouldn't be against marijuana. Or maybe I'll find support to back up my claim. Please...any comments or anything would be great. Link to comment
Sparchitecht Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 Be advised this question is the potential opening of one of today's biggest discussion forum pandora's boxes. Not that you shouldn't ask it; just know ahead of time that there's chance enough that this question is so loaded the thread will bog and derail before you ever get an adequate answer to your question. I'm 100% with you in your thinking. Haven't done it; don't want to. Hate the fact that so many do and that the world seems to be headed toward desensitization in its viewpoints on pot. I agree logically that it's probably not any worse than any other legalized addictive substance, but something threaded into the core of my psyche by my parental upbringing won't let my moral being look at it as anything other than vile. What should you think? You'll make your own choices. I've seen too much to feel personally that it matters either way. Just know that, at the point you're at now, you're not alone. There probably are fewer and fewer of our kind every day, but that doesn't mean that you're wrong for how you feel or that you should feel forced to change. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 I think this is one of those things which is different for every individual. For myself, I am against it and it would be a deal breaker. I wouldn't date anyone who does drugs, marijuana, etc etc, but that's just my own personal preference. For others, they see nothing wrong with it. Whatever floats your boat. You have to do what is right for YOU. If YOU are not comfortable with it, then you have every right to walk away from it (imo). Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 it's funny, but i've been flipping back and forth on the issue. i also wrote a huge research paper on it, got an A+ (the first A+ the teacher has ever given lol! so im guessing he's a pothead!). i argued that there's no reason why alcohol is legal but pot isn't. that's true. but tbh, now that my partying days are behind me, alcohol isn't particularly good either. i'm not dead against it, but i wouldn't make a habit out of it and wouldn't want to date anyone who does either. my question is, why do you have to be high to have fun? if you do, then is it the drugs or are you really genuinely having a good time? in my experience, it's not the latter. being high feels great, but it's fake. it's not real. people get hooked on drugs because real life doesn't give you the same kind of feeling as easily as drugs do. big red flag, if i ever saw one. i smoke occasionally... like 3x a year to blow off some steam after a stressful semester. Link to comment
pinkrobot Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 Like capricorn said, the view on this will vary for every single individual you ask. IMO, I agree about your views on the legality/illegality of alcohol and marijuana. I personally think marijuana is a safer choice than alcohol in terms of mind alteration, but that's totally my opinion. I used to be in a relationship in which marijuana took priority over me (to someone I was engaged to, I might add). This made me hate pot for a long time, until I realized I only hated it because of how someone so important to me had misused it and told me to my face he'd never choose me over marijuana. I do smoke it occasionally now, though, and I will date someone who smokes it as long as it's clear to me it's not the most important thing in their life. Now, to stray a little from the subject...OP, you said your SO has promised he'd "never smoke it again" and that he's kept that promise. How can you be sure of this? Every instance I've seen (and I have experienced this personally) of someone "quitting" pot-smoking for the sake of a relationship results in that person secretly smoking when their SO is not around. Just something to consider...if you feel that strongly about it, I don't know that his promise to never smoke it again just for you is a reasonable one to believe... Link to comment
Helis4life Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 as i understand it, alcohol has a tax attached to it, part of which goes towards the health system. So any alcohol related illnesses(liver failure) which are treated in hospital, the cost of which is partly offset by the tax going towards the health system. The reasons for marijuana being illegal is probably open to debate but what i have heard is back in the long long ago, marijuana plant was used as an alternative source for paper and paper derivatives.. The manufacturers who used trees to create paper lobbied against the use of marijuana and subsequently it was made illegal. I dont know if this is true or accurate, its what i have heard Now the government could make marijuana legal and corporations could manufacture it and sell it in a similar way to alcohol. However the health risks would need to be anticipated and the extra load on the health system and then a tax incorporated to offset the cost. but before all this the general public would need to vote in a government that would legalise it which will probably never happen. So it remains illegal In australia the drinking age is 18. It used to be 21 i believe but it was argued that a person could fight and die for their country but couldnt go to a bar and buy a drink. So it was reduced to 18 Link to comment
surfNski Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 I agree with most on here who say the answer to this question is going vary. I believe marijuana should be legalized and hemp cultivation should replace many of the wasteful environmental damaging practices we have today. I personally don't smoke but have no problem with people who do as long they are not in a position to harm others due to their impaired mental state. However, if you do not want to try it he should not push. You are entitled to your own choices and he should respect that. Link to comment
ScorpiGal83 Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 I have smoked pot and I have drunk alcohol, and I can tell you that personally I felt way worse after the alcohol than I did after smoking weed. As in, I've had hangovers from too much alcohol but nothing like that from weed - maybe some residual "slowness" the next day but nothing major. Alcohol IS worse for you. and there IS no real reason behind the fact that it is legal while weed isn't. And I believe alcohol is more addictive than weed is. I can smoke weed one weekend and not crave or want it for ages afterwards, but with alcohol it's a different story (not for me personally but for lots and lots of people I know). Link to comment
Imprecision Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 Haha, ScorpiGal83, I enjoyed your signature, "The situation was so depressing that I felt like I needed to go to some back alley and shoot heroin." Very funny. Reminds me of high-school, when everyone said, "Am I on crack, or is (add situation in question here)?" Link to comment
amure Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 pot cant be compared to alchole in anyway. there two completley different drugs with very different effects. pot is a very emotional drug, it all depends on the user. but there is a difference between a user and an abuser. almost everyone around me except my dad does pot (even my mum), or just stopped doing it. the reason alchole is legal is because drinking is a human passtime, its apart of our culture. same with smoking tobaco before we found its really bad for you XD. pot is legal in the rustafarian culture, because they use it for spiritual purposes. id advise trying it for yourself. because in my honest opinion i believe you are in no possition to comment on the subject and be taken seriously if you've never experienced it. good luck mate Link to comment
Kumatora Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 I don't think the issue is about debating if marijuana is or shouldn't be illegal. Please stay off that topic and lets focus on her problem with the boyfriend. The problem here is that he's PRESSURING you into doing something you know IS illegal AND can cost you your career. Many companies will refuse to hire a candidate if they even tried marijuana once! You are not comfortable with it and you do not approve of him of taking part of this habit... yet he still does it and then tries to drag you into "accepting" it. He's not respecting you there. If a boyfriend loves you, they would respect your comfort zones and not pressure you into "trying it." Him trying to get you addicted to it as well is a bad thing. Sorry... this would be a deal breaker for a LOT of women, so you're not alone on this thought. Especially career-oriented women. With the US economy as it is, you cannot afford to screw up and have illegal drug usage on your record. Be smart and find someone who will not pressure you into doing illegal activities and cost you a criminal record. [edit] FURTHER NOTE: No matter what people say, debate, or believe in, Marijuana still stands as illegal. Don't let someone tell you that it's not. Be smart and think of your future. Link to comment
goldenkey Posted June 11, 2009 Author Share Posted June 11, 2009 I just want to point out that my boyfriend has never pushed me to do anything nor will he ever. And I know for a fact that he has not done pot in over a year. Some may be skeptical because they know someone who just couldn't stop. It's not like that with him. He did it no more than five times throughout his life. We live together and he has never lied to me. I wrote this entry more to hear people's opinions on marijuana not about my relationship. Thank you to those who are stating their opinions. I appreciate it and I hope more people post. Link to comment
jet_palero Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 Couple things, I've tried mj, and personally didn't really care for it. I also drink socially, and am a take it or leave it guy. But I don't have an addictive personality. I do not think it should be illegal, for many reasons. However, I dated someone who did, and she was reguarly abused weed, and later other substances. Be very careful with it. The thing is, most people realize that being drunk for a whole day isn't really cool. its something you do to kick back a little when you're out being social. Most people who smoke pot don't mind doing it all day, and will happily just spend a whole night getting baked. Thats where I see the difference. Plus, I've known too many potheads for me to think the stuff is harmless. Sure, maybe they would live in their parent's basement anyway even if they didn't smoke pot all the time, but at least they wouldn't be all happy about it. Link to comment
goldenkey Posted June 12, 2009 Author Share Posted June 12, 2009 The thing is, most people realize that being drunk for a whole day isn't really cool. its something you do to kick back a little when you're out being social. Most people who smoke pot don't mind doing it all day, and will happily just spend a whole night getting baked. Thats where I see the difference. Plus, I've known too many potheads for me to think the stuff is harmless. Sure, maybe they would live in their parent's basement anyway even if they didn't smoke pot all the time, but at least they wouldn't be all happy about it. So what about smoking pot in social situations?? Would it be alright then? ---------------------------------------------------------- Please everyone keep on commenting. I really want to know people's views towards marijuana. Should it be legal? Is alcohol any better? Is it okay to smoke in social situations? Is buying marijuana wrong? Anything. Link to comment
avman Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 goldenkey this is not the appropriate place to debate the legality of marijuana. If you try to turn the thread into that I will delete it. Link to comment
Knead2Know Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 My boyfriend wants me to try it so I can gain a better perspective. I'm just stuck. I'm stuck between my beliefs and morals and the truth. This is what I identify as the advice you are seeking or where your dilemma is.... If you have not done drugs and do not want to do drugs (I consider alcohol a drug) than do not try it. I can't see how being high on marijuana will help you to gain perspective if you already know it conflicts with what your beliefs are. I'm not clear where doing drugs fits into your morals and beliefs so I am speculating some... Link to comment
doityourself Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Ive smoked everday almost all day for 15 years. I say that it should be legalized but of course I have my own personal reasons for this. I say if you have any negative thoughts on this then you should stay away from it. I do believe it is addictive and have spent way to much money on it to confirm that. I also tend to try and not judge people. Who am i to say what you do is wrong for you. I also dont like people that say if youve never done it then you cant comment on it. The affects it gives you in the beginning are laughing and a giddy feeling, over time you will start to feel nervous and like people know your smoking. Then over years your going to feel like your not normal if your not smoking. This is my own opinion of course. I also spend way to much time looking for it, way to much money on it and the all time thing is it is still ILLEGAL. After all this I still smoke but if I could go back I would turn it down. Link to comment
Danielle84 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Please do not even try it. It is such a waste of time and 10 times worse on your lungs than cigarettes. It's a waste of life and money!! Link to comment
MissyMercer Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Marijuana doesn't harm your perception. It just makes you think more in depth about things. I used to feel strongly against it, but I tried it and I see nothing wrong with it. I think you should go for it. Link to comment
blitzkrieged Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 I think that your boyfriend sounds like a reasonable guy and it doesnt seem at all like he is trying to pressure you, he just wants you to understand why he does it, so maybe you will be okay with it. He respects your views obviously, if he quit... I wouldnt do that for my boyfriend unless i knew I was hurting him because of it in which case the problem is me, not the drug. I find it weird when people are so passionately agaisnt something that have not educated themselves on nor have tried for themselves. HOWEVER if you don't want to try it there is no reason you need to, please dont let anyone else force you to! Nobody NEEDS pot in their life but some people like it and if its not hurting anyone then let them live!! Just don't disrespect the people that choose this for themselves and they wont suggest that you try it Also to the "hes trying to get you addicted" crap : BS marijuana can be habit forming but absolutely not addictive. There are no withdrawl symptoms whatsoever in marijuana users who stop and I can confirm this. Some people just allow one aspect of their life to take over. This extends to more than just drugs Also as far as marijuana being 10x worse than cigarettes, give me a break lmao just ask michael phelps! haha that was a joke but seriously, I smoke as well as dive & run almost every day, my lungs are fine. My father is 65 years old and has been smoking since 19 and is also very active with a similar lifestyle to my own. anyway my point is that its best to form your own opinion and dont be closed mided and a slave to what other people have taught you to be the truth, I mean if you grew up being told black people are born to be slaves you would believe that too right? Link to comment
Kumatora Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 I think that your boyfriend sounds like a reasonable guy and it doesnt seem at all like he is trying to pressure you, he just wants you to understand why he does it, so maybe you will be okay with it. He respects your views obviously, if he quit... I wouldnt do that for my boyfriend unless i knew I was hurting him because of it in which case the problem is me, not the drug. I find it weird when people are so passionately agaisnt something that have not educated themselves on nor have tried for themselves. Define "reasonable." The OP told him a straight "no" and he still debated with her that marijuana shouldn't be illegal and that she should trying. He hasn't respected her disagreement and he KNOWS smoking marijuana is illegal. Is that reasonable to her? So what's his deal that he HAS to get her to try it once? That to me isn't being respectful of her decision and personal belief... and is also a deal breaker move. No matter what people say about it, this is an illegal activity. And no, I do not plan on ever trying it when it risks my career. Neither should the OP. HOWEVER if you don't want to try it there is no reason you need to, please dont let anyone else force you to! Nobody NEEDS pot in their life but some people like it and if its not hurting anyone then let them live!! That's the thing... he is TRYING to get her into it. When you date someone who is a druggie, they will try to force you into the habit, making it seem that it's ok. Also to the "hes trying to get you addicted" crap : BS marijuana can be habit forming but absolutely not addictive. Laced marijuana holds nicotine... higher or about the same amount as cigarettes. How come her boyfriend hasn't quit? He SAID he would... and was caught doing it. Not a trustworthy partner there. And as the forum Admin mentioned, this is a place to talk about relationship problems, not to debate if Marijuana should be legal or not. Link to comment
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