Update

[benzonar]

Some of you may be aware of my predicament.

 

My ex broke up with me a week after she told me she was pregnant, no fathomable reason that I can think of and it obviously devastates me. I did the usual mistakes for the first three weeks and acted like a pathetic dog, which caused her to kick me harder when I was down. I have been threatened with never seeing my child etc, simply for telling her I loved her.

 

I then decided not to contact her for three weeks. Last week her father phoned and said she didn't want to speak to me as she got too upset when she did. He asked me how I was doing and also asked if I had anything to say to her. I replied that we would talk when she was ready.

He also told me that she is due to go for a scan next week and that she didn't want me there. I was gutted.

 

So anyway in my mind I feel that as far as the two of us are concerned I have made some real progress getting my head around things. but it has been hard.

 

To cut a long story short I want involvement in my childs life, which means I want to be at the scans. Hence I sent her a text, not sure if it was the right thing to do or not. I would appreciate your views on this.

 

SMS was as follows.

 

"Sorry for contacting you, its probably the last thing you need at the moment. I just wanted to say that I have moved on from being that pathetic twat I was 4 weeks ago. The last thing I want to do is argue and upset you in any way, what is done is done. I can't even begin to understand what you are going through, how could I. If you feel you can discuss things with me in the future without becoming too upset then I would appreciate that. Good luck with the scan next week.

I will not be initiating contact with you again, but don't take that as me not caring. I thought you should know that the promotion you didn't want me to go for (we work in the same company) has come up and I am applying for it, not out of spite as you claim but because it is the right thing for me. Take care and I wish you all the best in the future."

 

Thinking that maybe I shouldn't have hit the send button now on my cellphone.

[Nifty_Swifty1]

That's a tuff spot you find yourself in at the moment. Don't worry too much about her threatening to not let you see the baby. You have legal rights, though it may take a little court time. Sounds like you doing things right, with the exception of the lost puppy part. It also sounds like you might be able to get some help out of her dad too. If you think she is going to try and keep you from having anything to do with the baby you might want to talk to an attorney. On the other hand you could just let her keep the baby form you and never have to pay child support, but I think that's a little scummy myself.

 

Good luck and God bless

[GeeCee]

Benzonar

 

I really, really feel for you at the moment. We are all feeling bad on this site for one reason or another, but this is a difficult situation that you are in.

 

Of course you have rights in terms of your child. But I think that you are seeking guidance with regard to how to approach the ex. I think that we women do suffer with hormones and become very reflective during pregnancy (certainly that was my experience). The text that you sent was fine. It showed that you are there for her and are waiting to respond to her needs. The contact from the Dad is a good thing, and I think that you should try and exploit that to your advantage. Make sure that she knows (perhaps via him), that you want to support her and the baby as best you can.

 

Personally, I would be aiming to contact the Dad, and say directly to him that you are worried about her, you don't want to put pressure on her, but perhaps you can keep contact alive through him. You do, after all, have a vested interest in her health, if nothing else.

 

Be patient. I wish you lots of luck.

 

G xx