Uh Oh, its slowly coming back. . .

[devnull]

Had to seek some advice and encouragment before it comes back again.

 

Basics: g/f broke up with me I accepted after seven years.

Cause: I wasn't allowing her to be herself (i.e. I would always be against her drinking at parties, I didn't open up to her, etc.). She was unhappy.

Aftermath: A week later began dating, month later began dating seriously.

We are now at 2 months later.

 

Now: The first two weeks were hell of course. Then after that I got pretty sick of feeling that way and read this forum other places and began to think that this was a learning experience. I was growing, We weren't going to grow as individuals together since we got together since we were kids.

But yet I still want her back. She was always giving and I was not giving as much in return. Worse part of it all that I was FINALLY opening up to her but it proved to be too late.

 

Only hope I have is that the person she is dating seriously now, lives in Texas and is only here for work. She's not going to move she told me so already, but who knows. We wrote each other a few emails, talked, etc. I fixed her computer which is how I saw her again.

 

And I did it because I thought I was going to be ready, but it almost sent me back to square one. Help? Want her back because most of it was my fault, I guess like she said if we were meant to be together we'll get back.

[sphinx999]

You still sound like you need to grow as a full person and learn to open up more because the way yopu set outnthe post, you only revealed a little bit and showed barely any emotions, learn to show emotions before you try anything.

[devnull]

I have read on the boards that opening up emotionally to your ex just places you in the position where they will squish you again. She basically has a grudge against me because I didn't let her be herself.

 

Yeah that doesn't sound good for me, but at least we talked about it. I don't know what to do at this point. Should I do nothing? That no contact rule stuff? I definitely do not want to bug her.

 

When we did meet up (i mentioned this b4) so she could pick up her computer, I opened my arms for a hug and she gave me a huge bear hug. And began tearing. She then said "stop, just stop!" I was confused.

 

A few message echanges later, I am here. Oviously I can't think clearly, dreams about her have resurfaced again, what do to now?

[spiderman_56]

'geez .... what's wrong with that girl ? dump her ... those things JUST NEED to happen .... ' 8)

that 's the advice one of m friend game me when i was in a similr situation ..well if u had trouble openin to the girl and she is really into u she'll make thngs easier for u and slowly u will start trusting her and showing her emotions .... i think girls expect more from guyz emotionaly and it's time we nake it flow in both directions ...

 

really why would u show luv and affection to anyone that does not hesitate a sec to crush ur feelings when they know that it's that they r doin ...

luv urself and put urself first move on and if she never turn and try to get back to u ...forget the witch ... 8)

 

it may sound harsh but the pain is real and it's time to play harder ..peace out player and can't wait for ur next adventure

[devnull]

Thanks for the reply, but I think you misunderstood my post.

 

I do agree that I should probably forget the "witch." And yes, I know there are more people out there, I already met a few interesting people and I KNOW for a fact there are others out there.

 

So why am I so hung on my ex? (answering my own question here) I think its because at long last I was going to change for her, but indeed it was too late.

[tiff8434]

As a female it is real refreshing to see a guy that knows that women need emotional support from a partener. As far as she goes, that is tricky I think that sometimes we realize our mistakes only after it is to late. But one thing you can do is grow from what you have learned and don't make the same mistake with another. It is really hard to date someone that is holding their feelings back from you, you get really burned out quick because you are giving it 110% and holding nothing back. I hope that it works out for you, maybe she will see the change in you! It may not be now but who knows what the future holds.

[Hopingpraying]

Dev,

 

I understand what you are going through. It is difficult for advice on this issue. Basically you have to let her go. She will either figure out that you are the guy for her, or she will find another. It is that simple.

 

I know its not what you want to hear, but sometimes life throws us in different directions. Just know there are other women out there for you. I keep telling myself that.

[devnull]

Actually I agree, thanks to all for the replies.

 

One day I just woke up and did not want the ex any longer. I do believe I am in the last stage of the healing process. Most likely this is what is going to happen, I'm going to find a new gal and she's gonna want me back. Heh thats how it always is, oh well tho.

 

I believe she already found a guy that gives her all I never did, good for her. Like you said, I HAVE learned from this experience and will definitely not make the same mistake again. Next relationship I will give my all and whatever happens-happens.

 

Thank you so much everyone who helped me out and just anyone who posted their souls on this forum. I am on my way to being 100% recovered, I really want to thank you all.

 

Good luck with your lives and take care!