G3LesPaul Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 I have liked this girl since I first met her freshmen year in high school. I am now going to be a sophomore in college and I still have feelings for her but it doesn't interfere with my life at all. I have always been attracted to her. But nothing ever happened since she had a BF and then I had a GF when she didn't have a BF. I think I want to tell her my feelings. I want to tell her that I have always liked her since high school but I don't know if that is a good idea. I really have no intentions or care that if she never felt the same way. I just think I should tell her. Do you think I should tell her? I think at my time in my life, I should get it off my chest. What would everyone here suggest? Thanks!!! Link to comment
Vince99 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 NO! Never tell them how you feel! If you want a relationship with this person, ask her out for a date. DO NOT tell her you have feelings for her, whether you've had them for ten yeard or ten minutes. Link to comment
G3LesPaul Posted June 1, 2009 Author Share Posted June 1, 2009 NO! Never tell them how you feel! If you want a relationship with this person, ask her out for a date. DO NOT tell her you have feelings for her, whether you've had them for ten yeard or ten minutes. Can I ask why? Link to comment
jettison Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 NO! Never tell them how you feel! If you want a relationship with this person, ask her out for a date. DO NOT tell her you have feelings for her, whether you've had them for ten yeard or ten minutes. I wish it weren't true, but this is mostly right. When people haven't had a chance to digest romantic feelings, a declaration of intent and love usually just comes off as overwhelming, out of left field, and worst of all, a HUGE burden. It makes the person feel trapped because they know what you want, and they are in no place to give you what you want yet (if ever), because the person is in the exact same place as you about 2% of the time (yes, just pulled that percentage out of my * * * * ). Worse, if it's one of those "I have felt this way for sooo long, but I just never had the courage to tell you" things, then you are basically dead in the water. It just paints you as kind of an emotional coward to the receiver, and not someone who generally has the balls to ask for and take what he wants. That is then going to signal to her that you don't think you deserve her. If you were going to spill it, a waaaaay better, non-threatening way to test the possibility of something would be to say something like "Jesus , I know I'm not suppose to say this because we're friends, but you look freaking way too sexy in those new shoes. Don't wear those anymore ok? Or wear them when I'm not around." Something innouous, flirty, half-kidding, but still puting out a non-threating message of "I am realizing that you're cute" is way better. Why? Because the woman is now under absolutely no obligation to answer to you, to reciprocate feelings, to tell you "I feel the same way too!" or anything of the like. What it does do is free her up to flirt back if she so chooses. And heh, after some subtle flirting, perhaps there's some sly grins? THEN, after a little time has passed, you can just try for more if she's giving you green lights. But again, the sudden and out-of-left field announcement usually just aren't the ticket. But heh, you may be a 2-percenter so you can play that lottery ticket as well. What the hay. Link to comment
Vince99 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Can I ask why? Women do not want to know how you "feeeeel" about them. They don't respect a man who wants to share his "feeeelings" with them. At least not until you're in a relationship, and even then I'd wait until she tells you first. As far as why this is...I don't know. Maybe because they're psycho. Link to comment
G3LesPaul Posted June 1, 2009 Author Share Posted June 1, 2009 Well thanks for your awesome input! but the thing is, I don't really care if she feels the same way or not. Thats the problem Link to comment
Vince99 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 If you don't care, then there is no problem. Link to comment
G3LesPaul Posted June 1, 2009 Author Share Posted June 1, 2009 If you don't care, then there is no problem. Are you saying then I should tell her then cause I don't care what her feelings are? btw, I love your sig Link to comment
jettison Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Well thanks for your awesome input! but the thing is, I don't really care if she feels the same way or not. Thats the problem I have to be honest here... you're either in complete denial or an alien from another planet. When in the history of the world has someone had strong feelings for the opposite sex and then literally not cared if they were reciprocated? That's just a defense mechanism that we employ so we won't get hurt. Of course you care. We all do in these situations. It's not about being sooo cool and above it all that you don't care. It's way more about being so mature that you aren't afraid to admit that you care, and that you're ok with the outcome whether it's positive or negative. In general, chicks dig the hell out of men who aren't going to be crushed or dismayed too much when they're not getting their romantic way with them. Women, in general, dig conviction and fearlessness, and if you can show that consistently enough then you have a chance at least if there was anything there at all. Basically, it's going to take a display of your balls, sure, but just as important, it's going to mean that you can't tuck your balls back between your legs just because she's not "not so impressed" so to speak at first if that's the case. Link to comment
G3LesPaul Posted June 1, 2009 Author Share Posted June 1, 2009 hehe wow that was strong. But the reason why I say I don't care is because I just want her to know cause its been inside me for so long. Link to comment
Vince99 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Are you saying then I should tell her then cause I don't care what her feelings are? btw, I love your sig No. The only reason to tell her would be that you hope she says the same thing back. But you don't care if she says the same thing back or not. So don't tell her. If you DO care if she says the same thing back, still don't tell her. Because that's the wrong thing to do. So why do you want to tell her? The only reason I can gather from your first post is that for some reason you think you should tell her simply because you have the feelings. You shouldn't. Bottom line question: Do you want a relationship with her or not? Link to comment
Sparchitecht Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 But the reason why I say I don't care is because I just want her to know cause its been inside me for so long ........ and? Link to comment
waveseer Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 What are the odds that she shared, shares, or could share your feelings? When I hear news like this it's either creepy, neutral, or dang why didn't you say so sooner. Which one do you think will be her reaction? If it's creepy then I wouldn't bother. If it's neutral then it doesn't matter if you tell her or not. But if it's dang why didn't you say so sooner it could still go either way, it may just be too late. Your risk, your choice. Link to comment
Vince99 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 But if it's dang why didn't you say so sooner it could still go either way Exactly why you don't tell her, especially if you want a relationship. Ask her for a proper date. Then after a month or so, then think about telling her how long you've felt this way. After you're sure she feels something. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.