Over reaction or not

[confusedgirrl]

Last night around 10.30 or so the guy I am seeing messaged me on msn this was the first time for the day he made any contact with me, i took about 5 mins to respond and by then he was offline. I sent him a text telling him that when I went to respond to him he was offline and asking what happened. 30 mins later i had gotten no response so I called him, his phone rang twice and went to voicemail so I know he had to have hit ignore on the call. About an hour and some later he signs back into msn and tells me that he was watching prison break and didnt want to be disturbed. I didnt respond and just went to sleep.

 

what has me annoyed is that a text or to answer my call would have taken a couple of seconds to do, if he had done that in the first place I would not have kept trying to contact him while he was watching the all important prison break.

 

Am I wrong to be angry?

[Greedy Toad]

This person is your boyfriend? Or just some random that you are "seeing"?

[Batya33]

I think if he responds to your call within 24 hours it's fine - and certainly within one hour! - unless it's to confirm plans or something that requires his immediate response (and even then, an hour is fine). I understand that texting is a little different and that you are annoyed that he prioritized a tv show. He could have simply told you he was busy with something else, I guess, to be more tactful, but many people delay returning a non-urgent call if there's a good tv program on. I understand that with texting there's more of an expectation of an immediate response, but I don't think that's too reasonable especially with a casual dating situation.

 

Maybe tell him in the future to wait until he can talk on the phone and to call you and stop the texting, since you two have different expectations of when a response is necessary.

[frustration]

I recently read the book "hes just not that into you" its quite abrupt but it does get the message accross. I think that if he really was into you he would find the time to write back to messages or a phone call. When you really like someone you want to talk to them and find out how their day was and just stuff like that.

 

Personally I would give him the boot.

[confusedgirrl]

normally I would have just shrugged it off but when the situation is turned around he goes all out to try to get ahold of me and that was what had me angry. It wasnt like he couldnt pause what he was watching, they were episodes he had downloaded and was watching.

 

 

frustration- i have that book and that is one of the main things I remember from it but then he will apologize and for a while be very attentive, returning calls and answering texts immediately but then this will happen again.

 

I know it may seem like it is not a big deal but I hate double standards and I am about to be done with this situation.

[Batya33]

I would stop all texting since that is adding to the problem and decide together how often you want to be in touch and when during the day is the best time to be able to talk -- a range of time, like early evening. When I am in a serious, exclusive relationship my expectation is that we'll be in touch daily but in that situation I've never had to discuss it - it was what we both wanted and what happened naturally.

[confusedgirrl]

The texting was more his doing originally, rather than call he would text, I have tried to break the habit, whenever he texted me I would call him instead and I even tried to encourage him to call me instead of texting but again that only worked for a while and then things went back to how they were.

 

I dont know if there is anything else I can do at this point.

[Batya33]

The texting was more his doing originally, rather than call he would text, I have tried to break the habit, whenever he texted me I would call him instead and I even tried to encourage him to call me instead of texting but again that only worked for a while and then things went back to how they were.

 

I dont know if there is anything else I can do at this point.

 

Sure there is - talk to him and tell him in a diplomatic way how you feel about the communication issues.

[Ms Darcy]

Are you bf/gf? How long have you been together?

[confusedgirrl]

We talked about our comminication issues before, this is the main reason we havent taken things any further. We agreed that before we get serious things need to be better but although there has been some improvement it is not enough, which is why I said I dont know if there is any thing else I can do at this point.

 

Ms darcy- we are not bf/gf, we are just dating.

[ghost69]

We talked about our comminication issues before, this is the main reason we havent taken things any further. We agreed that before we get serious things need to be better but although there has been some improvement it is not enough, which is why I said I dont know if there is any thing else I can do at this point.

 

Ms darcy- we are not bf/gf, we are just dating.

 

heed your words.