Does anyone actually get back together.

[alonealone]

I have been researching this site about getting your ex back. Everyone talks about the No Contact Plan and such. My question is has anyone actually gotten their ex back? And did it last? Or are these rules and plans just give us something to do. A goal perhaps. I know it feels great thinking "she'll be back, I just have to give her time to realize what she is missing." But do they ever come back? I know everyone's situation is different but as a whole what do y'all think?

 

Thanks!

[mahlina]

I've gotten back with my ex before. We were together for 3 years, and the last year on and off. Let me tell you something, the last year was nothing but 'drama.' Now that I look back at it, there was no point in holding on. Although, he was the 'best' love of my life, I do not look forward to getting back with him ever. I think that you should just take the breakup for what it is, instead of holding onto hope. I tried many times, but once the relationship's broken, for me, it's basically broken. There's too much resentment to actually bring back the happiness that you actually 'once' found in each other.

 

If the relationship did not workout in the first place, then why would it workout the second time around? I don't know, for some people, they've had successful stories like high school sweethearts, or childhood sweethearts 'reuniting.' If I were you, try not to sit around and wait.

 

Besides, there are more things out there in life. I mean, we all go through breakups, and even though we still feel that 'attachment' for that person, there's no point in holding on. It will just set you back. Just ride a long with 'fate,' and take what life has to offer. Things will eventually fall into place. Good Luck!

[alonealone]

I don't even know if I want to get back with my ex. She has changed so much from the girl I fell in love with. I think more than anything it might be a self confidence thing. I want to have the power I guess. I was so good to her for so long. Seems like it should not go to waste.

 

Anyway there are a lot of people who do not believe in "Fate." I could say with every girlfriend I have had that fate brought us together, but then the relationship failed so why did fate bring us together?

 

Would still love to hear some more success stories.

[strong1]

Some people get back together and some don't. There are no firm rules to anything in life.

 

Mahlina has a point. Sometimes, people leap back into a relationship with both feet without working out the issues that tore them apart in the first place. Now THAT is a definite 'no, no' and a waste of time all around. But you are getting ahead of yourself. You may not even really know what you want or how you feel. You're probably still just reeling from getting dropped right now.

 

First, you need to get the point of knowing what you want in life and relationships..you have to get yourself on solid emotional ground. You can't make any progress and valid decisions from a point of weakness.

 

Do what you need to do now to maintain you sanity and self respect. No contact accomplishes both of those things. Each day of no contact makes it a little easier. I'm getting stronger by the day, and so are others, using that technique.

 

Heck, she could come back sometimes down the line and you may have gotten so strong/progressed so much that you don't even want her back. Or, she'll come back and she'll think 'Wow, look how strong and together he is. Look what I was missing!'

 

You can do this! We're all hear for you.

[luxe_13]

I am a believer in everything happening for a reason. It is mostly the bad experiences that teach us the most and make us stronger.

 

Even if she doesn't come back, think about how much you have gained from this (you may not realise this yet, but you have).

 

You cannot experience true happiness without pain..

[danimal77]

Strong1 is compleletely right. My ex is coming back into my life right now, but she is not coming back to the same guy she walked out on 2 months ago. She may very well be the same girl, but I have changed and she sees that and the old stuff she used to pull with me, won't work anylonger, so ineviatble, she must change as well, or "I" may not stick around for very long this time and now I have that choice to make, on my own, because I have become strong and she knows it and that's why she's back.

[danimal77]

I meant to type "inevitably".

[Silent Lucidity]

I think a lot more couples get back together than is percieved. You might want to read my story, just do a search under my nick. I am back with my ex after being apart for 2 and a half months. The no contact rule worked very well. I think each situation is different, but the general rules apply to most cases and should be followed to a tee.

 

I am more than willing to help anyone who needs advice or has a question. I can't tell you how grateful I am to this site and the no contact rule for helping me get through the toughest phase in my life.

[mahlina]

Alonealone,

 

To get back with the concept of 'no fate,' I truly believe things happen for a reason. You know, sometimes I question the same, "if it was fate, then why did fate tear us apart? "Why did 4 years of a romance go to waste?" "Why did our friendship end?" "Why aren't we bestfriends anymore?" "Why, Why..."

 

There's all of these why's that we ask ourselves, but the point is, even if fate intended to throw hurdles at you, you must realize that it only makes you stronger. Without experiencing that pain that fate brings upon your life, you won't understand the concept of happiness or joy right? It's like the concept of yin and yang, "You can't have one without the other." It's a give and take, push and pull, and the only balance is you truly gaining that strength and knowledge after those 'trying' times.

 

If you never experience pain, then you'll never truly experience happiness. So although fate will not always work out for the best, it allows us to appreciate our gains from our losses.

 

It will take a while for you to actually understand what I mean. I was in your boat, and trust me, I would've never thought in a million years that I would be able to even live on without him, though I admit, it's tough, but it's the best thing for me to deal with for now. thereforeeee, 'fate' has it's good intentions. Best of luck okay. I hope that you won't let this pain consume you too much. Just take this pain one day at a time. It's normal and natural. Hang in there!