g84 Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 If someone has always intended to wait to have sex until they meet someone that they really love, but for whatever reason this has not happened yet - and the person has reached adulthood, would you advise them to experience it with someone that they do not truly want to be with, so that they can know what it feels like? This kind of describes me..i would like to experience it, but i've never been interested in doing it with someone just for the sake of doing it...although the thought has crossed my mind before. I don't really know why i'm asking this edit: an emotional bond is what's most important for me. I know that i wouldn't really follow through with 'just doing it' with someone. I can think of someone who i could experience it with, but i know that i really don't want to deep down. I guess i just don't know how i'm supposed to feel : [ Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 No. I think it is tempting - and I can understand why - but whenever someone has done that they've always been disappointed or far worse. There's no reason to think that just because you're an adult you have to have intercourse. Link to comment
erase this face Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 It depends on what's more important to the person: experience or an emotional bond. Link to comment
nuttybuddy Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 actually, i'm in the same boat myself. i have waited all my life to share it with my only love, but right now i'm single and there is/was this hot guy who seemed to be looking for some "quick fun." he's invaded my thoughts even into my dreams. but i don't want to act on it cuz in the end, i'll just come out looking like a * * * * . Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 No. I think it is tempting - and I can understand why - but whenever someone has done that they've always been disappointed or far worse. There's no reason to think that just because you're an adult you have to have intercourse. I agree with both those thoughts. Doing it just to get it over with usually doesn't make the person feel better because what they really want is the emotional bond. The fact that you waited this long says a lot about your values..and if you go against those values just to get experience you probably won't feel good about yourself afterwards. You will probably say to yourself "is this all there is". Just because you are an adult doesn't mean you have to have sex. There is no law that says you have to....only peer pressure...and peer pressure is what causes people to do a lot of things that are not in their best interests. Link to comment
g84 Posted May 3, 2009 Author Share Posted May 3, 2009 thanku guys, I agree with all of you. In the past I have also advised others to wait until they are truly ready rather than doing it just to have the experience. I know that if i would do it just for its own sake, it would be damaging to me. I just keep reading about so many people who are embarrassed to be virgins..that the feeling almost seems contagious at times. I start to ask myself whether i should feel out of place or not. Link to comment
heatspreader Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 You know, I went down the path of not waiting until I found someone special and I feel more embarrassed about that than I probably would if I was a virgin. I think waiting for someone special makes the wait worth it in the end. Link to comment
ay0_x Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 I did this. I had sex with a guy I didn't really love but who loved me, just to get it over and done with. I am incredibly lucky that it was with a guy who cared about me, and wasn't selfish in bed. The experience made me like him more. I don't recommend it. Such a guy is rare to find. Be careful. Guard your heart and your virginity. You truly can never get it back. Link to comment
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