Dealing with ex wives

[floridagirlal]

I'm new to the dating scene and don't know how I should be feeling about my situation. Please help with your thoughts and suggestions!

 

I've been dating a guy for 4 months now. He has been separated since Dec 2007. Everything is ok with us but this past weekend he received a call from a friend that his ex wife had been beaten by her new boyfriend. LUckily, the kids were not with the ex wife when this occurred but there is concern that they have already been exposed to this behavior and have been told to keep quiet. I have not seen the ex wife but from what my bf says, she has a huge black eye, hair ripped out and scratches and bruises on her neck where her bf tried to choke her. MY bf is very upset that the kids may have been exposed to that or WILL be exposed to that. He wants to make contact with the abuser to inform him that he will not tolerate that behavior in front of his kids. Is this appropriate? How should it be handled?

 

I feel bad for the girl (ex wife) and would never wish anything like that on anyone, ever. No matter what, she didn't deserve to be hurt like that. My question is how much should my bf be involved in this?

[Scorpion Fury]

He should be involved in anything that affects his kids.

[Catdancer]

Those are his children, he needs to be involved for their benefit. If the bf is an abuser, I'm sure they've heard him talk down to their mom and possbily smack her around. Can your bf get full custody of the kids or at least have social services talk to the children?

[floridagirlal]

I told him that if another incident occurs then he should pursue full custody. OF course, that means courts and all.

[ghost69]

he should be involved with the kids. but he should not make threats to the other guy. he can potentially make it worse.

 

avenues of custody should be looked at.

[DN]

he should be involved with the kids. but he should not make threats to the other guy. he can potentially make it worse.

 

avenues of custody should be looked at.

I agree with this. Talking to the abuser could escalate the situation whereby he takes it out on the ex even more or they themselves get into a fight with all the potential for serious trouble that could involve.