Serendipitous Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Ok-I joke about being a cougar, but I'm 41 and I am seeing two guys--one is 25, one is 27. Being an older woman dating much younger men comes with its own set of issues...is there anyone else on the forum in this situation who can relate to me? JEEZ Youre only 41 youre NOT a cougar. And I think that word should be buried but a better board for you to visit would be agelesslove dot com Link to comment
gbr2bagain Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 I guess I qualify for a cougar. I'm approaching my golden years (turning 50 this year) and I've got my eye on a yummy looking young buck (he just turned 34), about a 16 year gap. Has anything happened yet? Nope, but I'm hopeful. It seems purrrrfectly delightful. Link to comment
gbr2bagain Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 Get them young and train them, is what I've always heard. Now that I'm facing that title, it really boils down to what we like - a fresh attitude, a youthful exuberance for life, intrigue, fun, and a chance to just live and laugh. Age really doesn't matter. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 Ok-I joke about being a cougar, but I'm 41 and I am seeing two guys--one is 25, one is 27. Being an older woman dating much younger men comes with its own set of issues...is there anyone else on the forum in this situation who can relate to me? Good for you! If I'm single in my 40s, I want to be open to dating a range of guys. Link to comment
servedcold Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 To me, a 45 woman with a 25 year guy looks equally ridiculous as the 45 year old guy with a 25 year old girl (a coupling that has long been the scorn of most 45 year old women) If you saw my "ridiculous 45 y.o. self" with some of the 20 somethings I've dated, I bet A. You'd underestimate my age by up to 10 years, and B. Many of the 35+ women in this thread could say the same. Still prefer my own age range though. I just don't like the term "cougar," or lol especially "puma," what's next "feral tabby?" reminiscent of other media spawned buzzwords like "yuppie," "gen-x," etc., and just as meaningless. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 I just don't like the term "cougar," or lol especially "puma," what's next "feral tabby?" reminiscent of other media spawned buzzwords like "yuppie," "gen-x," etc., and just as meaningless. Feral tabby - love it! I always thought that the term "cougar" was a derogatory term meant for women who prey upon unknowing youngsters and use them for sex and whatever else they can get. If you are simply a person who is dating someone younger, or prefers to date younger, but shows decency and respect and wants it to go both ways - then the term surely wouldn't apply. See now, when I hear someone describing men as though they are pieces of meat "get 'em young n' fresh, train 'em" - that's what the term was meant to describe. It's derogatory, another way to say "pig". Link to comment
sandrawg Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 OMG-I have no patience for training anymore. I just broke up w/the 25 yr old because he was doing drugs. And this wasn't the first time. I am starting to rethink how young I am willing to go in terms of trying to have a rel'ship. Get them young and train them, is what I've always heard. Now that I'm facing that title, it really boils down to what we like - a fresh attitude, a youthful exuberance for life, intrigue, fun, and a chance to just live and laugh. Age really doesn't matter. Link to comment
sandrawg Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 Good point about the term cougar. It IS derogatory to both women AND men...to women, cuz it makes them look like predators, and to men, because men are obviously NOT "pieces of meat." The word objectifies both sexes and I would be perfectly happy to eliminate it, as well. I just used it in the thread title because people would immediately know what I was referring to. Feral tabby - love it! I always thought that the term "cougar" was a derogatory term meant for women who prey upon unknowing youngsters and use them for sex and whatever else they can get. If you are simply a person who is dating someone younger, or prefers to date younger, but shows decency and respect and wants it to go both ways - then the term surely wouldn't apply. See now, when I hear someone describing men as though they are pieces of meat "get 'em young n' fresh, train 'em" - that's what the term was meant to describe. It's derogatory, another way to say "pig". Link to comment
sandrawg Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 Yeah, my "ridiculous 42 yr old self"'s picture is my avatar. At my birthday party 2 weeks ago, someone guessed I was 24. So...that guy can stuff it. No one has ever looked twice at me and the guys I date. We look like the same age. If you saw my "ridiculous 45 y.o. self" with some of the 20 somethings I've dated, I bet A. You'd underestimate my age by up to 10 years, and B. Many of the 35+ women in this thread could say the same. Still prefer my own age range though. I just don't like the term "cougar," or lol especially "puma," what's next "feral tabby?" reminiscent of other media spawned buzzwords like "yuppie," "gen-x," etc., and just as meaningless. Link to comment
bexcelant Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 If all the 42 year olds looked like you...wow. You should have no trouble finding a guy of any age. Besides, what about Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas??? Isn't that like 25 yrs? Link to comment
Moon Riser Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 I just broke up with my 40 year old GF. She is a stunner. A real cougar. Initially I just wanted a fling, some fun and then I was going to run. But she was so nice to me that towards the end I was totally falling for her. We live about an hour away from each other so distance was a bit of an issue. I will start a demanding new job in September that will allow me less time for a long distance relationship. And I know that long term it was never going to work out: she is 40, she has a son, isn't sure if she wants any more children, she is from a different faith and her finances are a bit of a mess, I do love her and I only told her that when I broke up. But truth is that it was not going to work out and I need to get a GF my own age who wants to have children and has a bright future ahead. Plus she has a crush on her new room mate which made me feel uncomfortable (eventhough he is there for 6 weeks) I am gutted and I'm still depressed over the break up but it was for the best. Can't sleep very much and my appetite is non existent. ](*,) But I gotta say I had an amazing 6 months full of kinky fun Link to comment
Brisby Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Well, I'm getting close to the 'cougar' age then if it's only 35. =P Sometimes I wonder if I'll go that route since I seem to have a lot in common with younger guys and have a younger spirit, if that makes sense. But, most of the time I just can't see it since I think guys younger than me are too immature. I felt funny about liking a guy who was 8 years younger than me once, seems so....wrong. I personally don't care if other women do it though. If a guy can date 10+ years younger, why not women? Time to level the playing field. It's not like you're life is over when you hit 35 and above, you have a lot to offer like experience, maturity, comfortable with who you are, etc. I think young guys should date older women just so someone can show them how to grow up. Link to comment
Sunflour Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 After my first marriage ended, I dated mostly younger men. At that time I was interested in casual fun, not a serious relationship, and that seemed easier to come by with younger guys who didn't have a lot of baggage. Sexually, I think a 30- to 40-year-old woman and a much younger man are a great match. They're both at their sexual peak. But they're in very different life stages, so if things start to get more serious that can be a problem regardless of which person is older. I did remarry eventually, and to a somewhat younger man. I joke that the age difference is just enough to balance out the greater life expectancy of women, therefore we are the same age! If measured in remaining years instead of elapsed ones. Link to comment
dm89129 Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Well I am married to a man who is 7 years younger than I am I am 40 something and we have been together 7 years now He was only 26 when we started dating, he was so much fun and really hot so I guess that was what caught my eye. Link to comment
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