tattoobunnie Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 In previous relationships, I have at many times have had that rush of infatuation, a honey moon period, which followed with "I love yous," and later on down the road does not work out. The guy I'm dating, while we have so many common goals, interests, personality traits, it's completely uncomplicated, honest, and great fun and care...it's kinda making me feel indifferent since I'm not in the throws of a whirlwind romance. I'm actually friends with my boyfriend. I know you can fall deep in love with a person over time, and we've said, "I love you" to eachother (though a bit inebriated), but nothing is explosive, overwhelming (dodged the obsessive part of it). I'm not doting as I have been with others. While my previous relationship before ended badly (and I mean BAD), am I waiting for the other shoe to drop, so I'm keeping a little guard up (which he sorta thinks is the case), or is this a sign that he doesn't inspire passion out of me? Or am I just sweating over nothing, and this is the beginning of building a truly great relationship? Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Friendship and taking it slow are important. all relationships are different and develop differently. Dont worry, just enjoy it. Your wise to keep a little guard up. Link to comment
Tethys Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Are you attracted to him? Sorry, had to ask. I have had that crazy, whirlwind romance in the past, and ultimately... it was not worth it. A lot of pain comes attached to that, though it was fun at the time. Link to comment
Tethys Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 OH also, are you on the rebound? When did your "BAD" relationship end? Link to comment
tattoobunnie Posted April 9, 2009 Author Share Posted April 9, 2009 It ended in October. My current beau also had one end in September, so we took it slow in the beginning, we were upfront and honest, and it turned into a something great. We're both really attracted to each other. I'm just not use to not having the sigh or goose-bump feelings in the beginning...not sure if it's a sign, or love can really deepen... Link to comment
Tethys Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 October... that is not that long ago... You may still be mourning your last relationship..maybe. You could also be on the 'rebound." (I don't use absolutes.) If you are not into this guy, well, you are not into him. That doesn't make you bad, it just means at this point in time, you are not into him. If there are no fireworks, there should be some during sex? If not, perhaps you should move on. I hate being blunt like this, but I am not saying to do it, just think about it! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I'm here to offer hope I wasn't sure 3/4 months into my relationship. He'd just gotten out of a relationship and we too decided to take things slowly. Now, I have developed a very strong and deep love for him. It's certainly not 'crazy attraction.' It's something much deeper and more substantial. I think relationships can and should grow. If you give it room, and a positive attitude, it could very well grow into something great that you thank your lucky stars you didn't give up. That's where I am now Link to comment
Tethys Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Oh, I echo Ms Darcy -- it does not have to be that "crazy" fireworks kind of thing in the beginning. I am more worried about you getting over your last relationship first. Do YOU think you are over it? Link to comment
tattoobunnie Posted April 9, 2009 Author Share Posted April 9, 2009 Maybe...it's faint...but it's not enough for me to want to end things with the new beau. I want him in my life. Last week, the ex called, texted, and wrote, another ex also texted me last week. I didn't respond to either of them. Link to comment
Tethys Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 It helps if you don't have the ex in your life, in order to move on. (I assume you mean the ex with the fireworks, no?) You can always bring him back into your life when you are completely over him, as a friend. But, by that point, you don't care as much... Link to comment
tattoobunnie Posted April 9, 2009 Author Share Posted April 9, 2009 Nah...I don't keep exs as friends...I've got plenty of friends. It's one thing if you've known eachother for years...another for me, if we dated for less than two years and got disrespected beyond anything. I want nothing to do with my previous ex in any capacity. I hope I'm not rebounding...we are committed to each other. I thought they were like flings...quick and easily thrown away? Link to comment
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