knowing your league?

[Cognitive_Canine]

I am trying to word this in a way that doesn't make me look like a bad person.......but.....I have enough trouble trying to get dates with females I am not at all attracted to.

 

Again....as I said...i'm just beiong realistic.

 

Then there is something wrong with your approach or how you come off. Not that you are going "out of your league"

[ghost69]

Ghost well, if you don't know the difference...

 

I am really surprised that you object to the concept of "leagues."

 

getting sex and getting in a relationship is different, yes. still not leagues in either though. it's all preference. preference is not a league.

[ghost69]

let me put it this way....my league is any woman on the planet. does that mean i could get with all of them? absolutely not. why? my approach was off, i'm not their type, i didn't try, etc. none of that is a league.

[ghost69]

even better:

 

instead of 'sorry, you are not my type' i should replace it with 'sorry, you are not in my league' ??

 

really, the girls i reject really are just not my type.

[Tethys]

No -- that would be mean to say, but you can think it.

[girl68]

I thinks its absurd to think there's not leagues. Let's get real here. Yes, I know there are exceptions but exceptions are not the "rules".

 

Example 1: older guy (early 30's) very chubby, not all that good looking, not all that good job etc... you get the dift he's an avgerage joe. this guy will ONLY date super model, bombshell beauties, with lots of money, oh yes- and she has to be a virgin. He has had 1 gf in his entire life. Why because he thinks he deserves ivy league girls when he in fact is no ivy league man.

 

And this is not an exceptional case... I see this time after time. Guys all think they deserve this top-notch girl to bring all these top notch qualities yet they themselves only bring "average joe" qualities.

 

It's all about real expections. Date within your league. Be realistic. And yes, I've seen hot ass girls with not hot ass men but again that's exception and not the rule.

 

Now if you're going to go on and say let's include personality... I'll say no. Because that is not what "leagues" are about.

[Tethys]

Sorry, I don't believe you about "any woman on the planet."

[COtuner]

Meh......I think i'm being realistic.

 

 

 

Have any of you ladies ever seen a hot guy and thought they were out of your league. Or just simply thought you wouldn't stand a chance?

 

Nope. Never have. I've gone out with professional athletes and done well attracting celebs at some jobs I've worked at. If it's just looks, I believe I have a shot with anyone. Now if you're standing me up in the Playboy Mansion or with the Hawaiian Tropic girls surrounding me, yeah, I might slink away. But it's not because of the guy, it's because I'm horribly intimidated by other beautiful women (thanks to my first ex-BF who crushed my self esteem through his cheating...)

[Cognitive_Canine]

But, I think that leagues reinforce the idea that you're stuck with what you've got.

 

Any guy or girl could exercise a little more, educate themselves, dress a little nicer, be more responsible, become more social....and bam, you've got yourself a bunch of girls/guys to choose from.

 

By saying "date within your league", you are suggesting that a person is incapable of changing at attracting anybody.

[bmwm3]

I still think its personal prefrence... not about leagues.. that really hot girl could be a chubby chaser and if that chubby guy has a good personality chemistry with her. she might take to him..

 

again. some might say thats different leagues. but it was her personal prefrence to be with that chubby guy...

[ghost69]

that fat guy has a taste for those types of women. it's his preference. some smokin hot girl might find him attractive. society has painted what a bombshell woman or an adonis male should be. human nature is everything you want in life, not what some magazine says. go for the girl or go home. that is your league.

[Tethys]

I guess I am shallow? I got with someone younger and I made more money than he did.

 

Women are usually accused of being shallow for wanting man who can provide for them. So, which is it, you know? I admit it was physical attraction for me that sealed the deal!

[ghost69]

But, I think that leagues reinforce the idea that you're stuck with what you've got.

 

Any guy or girl could exercise a little more, educate themselves, dress a little nicer, be more responsible, become more social....and bam, you've got yourself a bunch of girls/guys to choose from.

 

By saying "date within your league", you are suggesting that a person is incapable of changing at attracting anybody.

 

+1 for DW. nice

[ghost69]

I guess I am shallow? I got with someone younger and I made more money than he did.

 

Women are usually accused of being shallow for wanting man who can provide for them. So, which is it, you know? I admit it was physical attraction for me that sealed the deal!

 

how is that shallow if that is what you were attracted to? being shallow is completely different than having a league. some girl not dating a guy and saying because he's not in her league IS shallow yes.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Ghost, correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember you telling me that you were once pretty down on yourself in the looks department and were kind of whimpy in high school. Yet, you allowed yourself to change and now get dates all the time.

 

 

That's what I'm talking about. You CAN get anyone you want because you can become as good of a catch as you want to be.

 

Same thing happened to me. I had the ugly duckling syndrome. I realize how little changes in mannerisms, clothing, hair, hygeine, and such make a HUGE difference in what you look like and how you feel.

[rocio]

Wow, I go for Indian food and come back expecting this thread to have died away. And yet, still going strong.

 

I wonder how many pages we can get to?

[Tethys]

Ghost, I derailed the convo.

 

I firmly believe that you CANNOT get someone out of a so-called 'league' -- unless you have a lot of money..

[jonny15]

it could be your approach. a lot of the times the hottest girl only gets hit on by all guys. gotta stand out somehow man. say 'hi' and display your personality somehow. make her laugh.

 

 

What am I suppose to do?

 

Wear a neon sign that says, "Please go out with me?" lol

 

You think there aren't other guys making her laugh that are far better looking that me?

[Tethys]

Ok -- let's take you for an example... you are not going to date a 160lbd woman, right? but that woman can find someone to date her. do you see what i mean? (sorry to use you as an example)

[ghost69]

Ghost, correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember you telling me that you were once pretty down on yourself in the looks department and were kind of whimpy in high school. Yet, you allowed yourself to change and now get dates all the time.

 

 

That's what I'm talking about. You CAN get anyone you want because you can become as good of a catch as you want to be.

 

Same thing happened to me. I had the ugly duckling syndrome. I realize how little changes in mannerisms, clothing, hair, hygeine, and such make a HUGE difference in what you look like and how you feel.

 

it's funny you say that DW. and it is true. i was really down on myself because i thought my looks were holding me back. i changed that around 10th grade (sophomore year). i ended up dating what was considered one of the hottest girls in school. i still looked the same but i started finding my personality traits that stuck out. i knew i was funny and outgoing, why not show that? i had girls laughing all the time. i was 'ghost'. i've seen girls from school that wondered why i never asked them out. 'huh?...me?' i thought i never had a chance. how dumb was i? geez. all of the missed opportunity.

[Jeen]

That's what I'm talking about. You CAN get anyone you want because you can become as good of a catch as you want to be.

 

Not in the world I live in, "education, money up bring and who are your family" do play a roll.

[Cognitive_Canine]

it's funny you say that DW. and it is true. i was really down on myself because i thought my looks were holding me back. i changed that around 10th grade (sophomore year). i ended up dating what was considered one of the hottest girls in school. i still looked the same but i started finding my personality traits that stuck out. i knew i was funny and outgoing, why not show that? i had girls laughing all the time. i was 'ghost'. i've seen girls from school that wondered why i never asked them out. 'huh?...me?' i thought i never had a chance. how dumb was i? geez. all of the missed opportunity.

 

Reminds me of the lyrics

 

"and all the loves that could have been, If I'd only thought of something charming to say"

[ghost69]

Ghost, I derailed the convo.

 

I firmly believe that you CANNOT get someone out of a so-called 'league' -- unless you have a lot of money..

 

*slaps forehead*

 

What am I suppose to do?

 

Wear a neon sign that says, "Please go out with me?" lol

 

You think there aren't other guys making her laugh that are far better looking that me?

 

where do you get that other guys are better looking than you? society makes you feel that way. okay, so if you feel you aren't as good in the looks department, don't let it bust up your confidence in yourself. never ever should that happen. i don't care if some girl called you ugly. f her. she can get her roll on. it's still not leagues though.

[Tethys]

Not in the world I live in, "education, money up bring and who are your family" do play a roll.

 

 

Word... This very true.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Not in the world I live in, "education, money up bring and who are your family" do play a roll.

 

You can always educate yourself. I believe that it doesn't matter where you go to school, it's the focus you have behind the studies. Harvard doesn't make a person smart, it's their own ambition. And a community college student could be far more learned than an Ivy leaguer if they truly care about their education. I know many that are.

 

As for family, I think newer generations put less emphasis on family ties and more on individual. Such as, I plan very much to be independent from my family. Every generation becomes less attached to family ties, as a general trend in the U.S.