THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Lostinlove31]

Today would have been 24. But I gave in.

What happened?

[TiredOfDating]

What happened?

 

It wasn't unpleasant at all. I don't know exactly what made me text him. He claims he had been wondering when/if he should reach out to me but wasn't sure how hurt & angry I'd still be.

 

We talked about our kid's birthdays and then got on the topic of our exes. It went better than our conversations during that one month "break" period. I didn't whine or plead or act all sad. Just said I'd been good and working on some issues that I need to resolve.

 

But no real relationship talk. And that's fine. I just needed some peace of mind. I'll let him make the next move.

[Lostinlove31]

It wasn't unpleasant at all. I don't know exactly what made me text him. He claims he had been wondering when/if he should reach out to me but wasn't sure how hurt & angry I'd still be.

 

We talked about our kid's birthdays and then got on the topic of our exes. It went better than our conversations during that one month "break" period. I didn't whine or plead or act all sad. Just said I'd been good and working on some issues that I need to resolve.

 

But no real relationship talk. And that's fine. I just needed some peace of mind. I'll let him make the next move.

That's good. I worry when people reach out because it can effect you emotionally but you handled it well. You also learned about him as well and his mind set which is good.

[Kris22]

Day 70 something

 

I don't know the exact day anymore and I'm not going to bother to count. Saturday's still seem to be the most difficult because they were days we usually had together. I always wake up wishing I was waking up in his bed. I still can't believe we aren't together anymore

[layla21]

Layla,

 

44 days for us is hard not for them. They are enjoying their space and time so it doesn't feel that long for them.

 

when much more time has passed, thats when they will feel it too! They will be like what's that little one doing

 

Hold on tight for a little longer, you never know, you might be surprised of the outcome either you won't need him anymore or either he could come back!

I m on 47 days!! And stronger and stronger everyday that passes !

 

Day 47

 

Thank you for your encouraging words, lolita. It really helped me!

 

You are right, these days mean nothing to them, especially with a rebound.

Over the weekend, I have realized, heck - I dont need him to be happy, I personally am responsible for that. Also, why projecting the need that he apparently wants to know that communication is okay and that I am fine? It's just wishful thinking and doesnt really help me. I cannot rely on him to ease the pain if he is the reason for it.

 

I didnt cave in and will continue this journey until I dont count anymore. If he contacts me (not with breadcrumbs), I hopefully will be in a much better place and can handle it well. It is tough because I still wish him to contact me in an honest and caring manner w/o smalltalk (cant bear it yet).

Oh well, I am happy you have this positive vibe, lolita. I cant wait to gain this back myself (or at least back to the anger stage

[lolita]

Day 50...

 

Layla21 Thank you for your message too! I have read in the forum that if your ex had a rebound you have to absolutely remain out of the picture bc keeping on interacting with your ex will make him getting closer to the rebound. It was quite interesting theory to read.

I m trying to motivate myself but some days I can't help but torturing myself of thinking about him. I keep having that image of him smiling at me the last time we saw each other and his text afterwards saying he was happy to see me and that he had missed me so much. It felt so good. What annoys me is that we live sooo close to each other but he has no purpose to come in my area so I have zero chance to bump into him randomly and we have no common friends.

Maybe after 60 days I ll try to initiate something but also it will depend on how I will feel with the new guy. We have been talking a lot but still never met.... sigh

[Brkn4592]

Day 1 🙁

Feeling okay and surprisingly not too sad.i know it'll get harder and harder but I can't give in. The longest we have gone NC since our breakup nearly 6 weeks ago is about 5 days. He seems to want to eventually be friends and have an amicable outcome. But I don't see that being possible. I do think he's in a rebound at the moment as well 🙁

[hopefulalways]

Day 86. I've doing better for myself but I still love her as much as I did 86 days ago. I guess that's what happens after 6.5 years together. Won't cave and contact but sometimes I wonder if she thinks about me as much as I think about her.

[TiredOfDating]

Back to Day 3.

 

I have a date set up for Sunday. I don't expect this to amount to much but it will good for me.

[Honeybal]

Just an observation, are most of the people actively posting right now aquariuses? I read my horoscope and it said relationships will prolly end. Isnt that creepy? All of us lost our SOs and all of us have a birthday in january??? Be strong guys!!! Always think of whats best for you and respect yourself!

[coffinqt]

Day 1:

 

I'm new to this site. Starting NC in hopes that my long distance ex and I can get back together. I'll try and post about it in another forum. I've blocked him from FB, still have him added on my other social media accounts. It's going to be hard not to check, but I am up for this challenge!

 

I attempted NC months ago with this same ex for almost a month but months later found out I should have done it longer. I hope so much that he and I end up working out.

[Brkn4592]

Day 1:

 

I'm new to this site. Starting NC in hopes that my long distance ex and I can get back together. I'll try and post about it in another forum. I've blocked him from FB, still have him added on my other social media accounts. It's going to be hard not to check, but I am up for this challenge!

 

I attempted NC months ago with this same ex for almost a month but months later found out I should have done it longer. I hope so much that he and I end up working out.

 

Good job! Stay strong. I started NC today and already broke it as I got a parcel notification text sent from his building so I had to ask what it was as it has zero details 🙄

Haven't got a reply either yet. Ugh so annoyed I broke it. Will have to start day 1 tomorrow.

[Lostinlove31]

Back to Day 3.

 

I have a date set up for Sunday. I don't expect this to amount to much but it will good for me.

It's hard but who ever your date with give them a chance. I startes missing my ex recently again and yet i am working on myself and looking forward to dating someone else who has the same goals as me and wants to be in a relationship.

 

I startes to realize the fantasy i was living in versus the actions she was giving demonstrated to me she didn't care about me. Once you see the truth and stop projecting the fantasy on them you start to realize a lot of things. That's what the no contact helped with me do with my ex. It still hurts and sucks at times because like I said I miss her... but i think i miss more or less the what if of the relationship not the actual relationship itself.

[lolita]

Just an observation, are most of the people actively posting right now aquariuses? I read my horoscope and it said relationships will prolly end. Isnt that creepy? All of us lost our SOs and all of us have a birthday in january??? Be strong guys!!! Always think of whats best for you and respect yourself!

 

Is it? Yes I m Aquarius too! I found this period even harder than the first 30 days! Like I m really nostalgic and only missing the good things about him! Like before I used to see the negative points. Now it seems only the positives ones are stuck in my mind and his beauty ! I almost caved in last night and took sleep aid instead and went to bed.

[TiredOfDating]

Just an observation, are most of the people actively posting right now aquariuses? I read my horoscope and it said relationships will prolly end. Isnt that creepy? All of us lost our SOs and all of us have a birthday in january??? Be strong guys!!! Always think of whats best for you and respect yourself!

 

I do not have a January birthday....however between this forum and stuff I've heard in real life, January seems to have been a month where boyfriends/husbands seem to have lost their freaking minds! I've heard so many stories of people breaking up unexpectedly right after the first of the year. I bonded with this lady at Walmart who's husband told her that he was leaving and didn't love her anymore. and he hinted around at coming back a few weeks later, and then changed his mind again.

[coffinqt]

Good job! Stay strong. I started NC today and already broke it as I got a parcel notification text sent from his building so I had to ask what it was as it has zero details

Haven't got a reply either yet. Ugh so annoyed I broke it. Will have to start day 1 tomorrow.

 

Thank you! Aw that wasn't your fault, though. I hope tomorrow goes well for you. Take some extra time to love yourself if you can.

[coffinqt]

Day 2:

 

I'm finding things that relax me, but I can't help but often feel scared that I won't have a chance with him again, or that he'll find someone else during No Contact. I've tried asking for help on here in regards to my situation, but it feels hopeless, and I want to hope.

[layla21]

Day 50...

 

Layla21 Thank you for your message too! I have read in the forum that if your ex had a rebound you have to absolutely remain out of the picture bc keeping on interacting with your ex will make him getting closer to the rebound. It was quite interesting theory to read.

I m trying to motivate myself but some days I can't help but torturing myself of thinking about him. I keep having that image of him smiling at me the last time we saw each other and his text afterwards saying he was happy to see me and that he had missed me so much. It felt so good. What annoys me is that we live sooo close to each other but he has no purpose to come in my area so I have zero chance to bump into him randomly and we have no common friends.

Maybe after 60 days I ll try to initiate something but also it will depend on how I will feel with the new guy. We have been talking a lot but still never met.... sigh

 

 

Day 49

 

Yes, I def won't contact him while he's all happy with his rebound girl.

 

I have also been talking to some guy on an app (I thought to myself, why not) and it was quite funny. Haven't met as well but I am not looking for anything serious while being in this state. I told him and he agrees to just talk and then see how it goes. It is nice to get compliments, flirt a bit and all but I am still unstable to look for a relationship at all as I am still in love with my ex. But it def lifts my mood whenever I talk to him, so it's fine. Hope all goes well with the guy you are talking to, lolita.

 

Sometimes a moment of nostalgia and longing still hits me (like last week when I almost initiated contact) but thanks to you and others, I keep on moving on. Hope is still there of getting back together or at least friendly again but I'm not ready yet ... havent even received any breadcrumb or so from him so, we'll see. I just want to reach indifference somehow ..

[Glashalfulguy]

Day 17 (second time using NC with the same girl..think im insane lol)

 

Okey so first of all thanx for starting this thread.(kind of a relief to see im not alone in this one).

 

Well long story short the first NC went perfect she came back and confessed stuff and apologized like crazy but after a few weeks i noticed her having a long distance realationship with another guy wilst patching things up with me. gave her 3 chances to make a choice and screwing my own emotions up while waiting and boom!! couldnt take it anymre and lied by saying i dont want her anymore. (which i regret but how can you trust someone two timing you with a smile.)

 

well i regret it so i went no contact again after her writing me of completely(not on instagram though). so about two weeks later she inbox's me on fb saying hi with a GIF but i didnt respond. just a few days later she asked for her stuff back (a face cloth and a eyebrow trimmer which is useless stuff if you ask me) just a way of getting my attention.but why after she wrote me off.(had a hard time not answering her and its killing me inside to not even check her profile or even a single pick of her on instagram.)

 

so as you could guess im active on social media and posted a pick of myself on instagram and guess who was the first to like it.(yes my ex) but why is the question.(then again she is trying to get my friends attention on FB the whole time by commenting on basically everything he posts, and yes im jealous but i do nothing about it.) That was 4 days ago still going strong and still fighting not to check her profiles on anything. hoping that she does not fully move on this time.

 

Strongs everyone this is about the hardest thing you can do in your life up until now but it worked for me and why not for you! (hopefully the second time for me.)

[hrb23]

Day 1:

 

Last night my ex sucked me back in and we slept together and all the feels came back. Then her phone buzzes and it's the guy she's dating now who she claimed to have blocked. Doing this to escape the lies, the heartbreak and the turmoil this has cast on my life.

 

I'm still in love with her. I hope this changes with NC, she doesn't deserve my love.

[TiredOfDating]

day 5 round 3.

 

funny, I feel like reaching out friday night was the best thing possible I could have done to finally let go.

 

but I've felt that way before and it doesn't last. hoping this time is different.

[Tombo7891]

Having a tough one today, almost four months post BU and I'm finding myself thinking about how bad I want reconciliation today. I was doing so good, until she told me how proud she was of me on the weekend with the changes I've been making since she broke up with me. I thought I could handle NIC but I see now that I can't. Im putting myself through unnecessary hell. Why? Because she had a tough night and was probably lonely that morning when she messaged me. It felt so good to talk to her at the time, like a drug. But now it feels like I'm starting all over from scratch.

[Jigga]

I'm two months out of the breakup and officially at 33 days NC. This is hard.

[coffinqt]

Day 3:

 

I'm feeling hopeless, but that's due to other circumstances going on in my life in general. I'm realizing how stacked against me my odds are of getting him back. I wonder how he feels about me.

 

I think I can still push through with NC because I can feel it helping, I'm just scared. I realize my situation is probably a lost cause, but I want to hope he'll be in my life again more than a friend.

[hrb23]

Day 2: FAILED

 

I woke up for work as I do every day at 6.30a or an hour ago.

 

I was sad but it wasn't overwhelming. Just jealous thoughts.

 

10 minutes later she texts me. I open it and reply. As I have done for the past 15 months without fail.

 

This won't be easy. I guess i'll try again tomorrow. I just told her I can't talk to her right now.