loxy37 Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Today is day 31 and I thought that I was doing better but then that strange feeling of hopelessness crawled up in me again. I can't seem to shake this feeling off. I know that you were no good for me but why do I still feel confused? My mind says "move on, let go, screw him, he never loved you" while my heart says the complete opposite. I thought that you would've tried to reach out to me by now but you haven't and I seriously don't think that you will. Why do I care? I'm still torn to pieces inside and I don't know whether I should scream or cry. I'm trying to think positive here by writing down my feelings, venting out loud, and reading books. Am I lying to myself here? I just have so many questions that I know I will never get answers to. Why did you tear me to teeny, tiny pieces of broken glass? Link to comment
Cityslick Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Day 2 Started this morning off pretty good because I actually had a job interview today. It went well so I'll be returning there Tuesday. Today I tried something different and I meditated on the train while going back home. I began to think not of my ex but myself and to really examine what she said went wrong and then try to dig deeper into myself to find the answers. I still miss her and I feel that everyday I'm getting closer to letting go and at the same time farther from ever reconnecting. Link to comment
eendjuh Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Hey all, I realised that this forum gave me much support when I needed it the most, and I just wanted to say that NC seriously is the way to go. First time I actually got back together with my ex. Second and final time it helped me to heal and close that chapter in my life. So continue what you're doing, everything will turn out just fine, one way or another. Link to comment
Tomuch2hope Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 End of day 1. I'm so mad with myself for following the advice of a well intentioned friend and making contact. Its not that the ex didn't reply, I wasn't expecting her too. But because I had 'showed' my hand too early. Spent all day today thinking that she was thinking, 'why can't he just leave me alone' or 'why can't he take the hint'. This is the first time in weeks that she has been on my mind... Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Day 5.....it feels like you're just somebody I used to know now Link to comment
Melting Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 My NC challenge will be somewhat different, but I need to post somewhere to help me move on. BU 1st Sept.... Tomorrow will be Day 1 NC I wish to totally remove you from my life, but that is not possible as we are now working together. Apart from work topics, for which I will not go out of my way. I will be in NC. Link to comment
Aleina2011 Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 BU 14 Oct '11 Day 6 NC I cried last night after a few days when I thought I was feeling fine, empowered. I feel better this morning. I will get there... Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Day 6 I wonder if I met someone I would stop thinking about you, maybe it's just because you are all I know... Link to comment
Airbag Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Lost count, but all I know is that I still feel * * * * ed up and missing the * * * * out of her... Link to comment
DerekJason Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Lost count, but all I know is that I still feel * * * * ed up and missing the * * * * out of her... my sentiments as well Airbag. 1 Link to comment
Cityslick Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 DAY 3 We broke up Sept 16, 2011 She got a new boyfriend Sept 25, 2011 I made all the mistakes humanly possible to push her away and into his arms... Last talked Oct 26, 2011 I'm so freaking angry today. The reason being because I know its Halloween weekend and she's going out in a * * * * ty outfit and some1 else is gonna be with her and have her wholeheartedly and that person isn't me. Still trying to deal with the issue of being abandoned and "thrown out" for someone else after 4 years. I was never good with rejection initially so this experience has been a very trying moment. All day I've been reminded of her because its snowing and her birthday is around this time of year. I've never loved someone so much just to have them rip my heart out. If she ever contacts me I don't know if I'll be strong enough to say "No, I do no want to see you or be around you. You've literally abandoned me, broke up with me over the phone and left me for someone else all the while having me blame myself for everything so no I don't want to see you again." Truth is, I'd be excited if she called but I know her and I know she never will. I have glimmers of hope every now and then, hopefully NC will make that go away. Link to comment
Airbag Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Exactly how I feel too man... Link to comment
Melting Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 BU 1st Sept. Day 1 NC...... I will survive! Link to comment
Aleina2011 Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Still Day 6 NC - I know time is on my side but time doesn't seem to pass by quickly enough... Whatever! Link to comment
Aleina2011 Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Day 7 NC getting more difficult by the day but I know I can do it because I have to. Link to comment
Tomuch2hope Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Day 3 of NC part 2.. Link to comment
Cityslick Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Day 4 We broke up Sept 16, 2011 She got a new boyfriend Sept 25, 2011 I made all the mistakes humanly possible to push her away and into his arms... Last talked Oct 26, 2011 I went to a holiday party last night, boy was I rusty. It also didn't help that there were mainly nothing but couples around but besides that I'm just glad I got out of the house. Still thinking about her everyday and sometimes the anger and hurt causes me to lash out at the people around me. For that I'm sorry. Trying to maintain sanity and most importantly, learning to love myself. I'm a guy and I don't want to be awkward and sound weak but I'm realizing that through all the pain and agony, in the end I only have myself to live with and thus I'm coming to the conclusion that loving yourself is the gift that your ex gives you. Link to comment
Melting Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Bu 1st Sept Day 2 NC Today will be the first day working together, I have butterflies in my stomach. Link to comment
madine Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Day 45 (I had to check my agenda, I've lost count) Back from a few days in England with some of my friends. It was fun, but again I can't help but think about how much more fun the trips abroad with my ex were. Exactly one year ago the two of us were in Paris, our first trip abroad. Seems so long ago and yet I remember every single minute about it. So I haven't seen her for 45 days! But I am going to see her at least twice this week (wednesday and saturday), maybe even tomorrow. I am not looking forward to it. Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Day 7 - I know that at some point I have to move on and start thinking about being with other people, so I'm trying, really I am but this thought is terrifying me at the same time, the idea that I have to let someone in as much as I let you and care about them as much as I cared about you seems impossible to me Link to comment
Melting Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Well I survived my first day working together and I actually got to stick to full NC, as we didn't need to talk about work. The butterflies have left my stomach now. I tried not to look at your face at all today, incase I fell apart, but oh boy you look skinny! Link to comment
madine Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Well, off we go. Hope I can stretch NC for two more days. Also because a cute girl will be there today, will be hard enough without my ex Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 day 8 - eating too much....all I can think about right now is how satisfying a pizza would be.....not sure if this is pain from missing my ex or just my greed kicking in...haha Link to comment
Tomuch2hope Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Hanging in there.................... by my finger tips. Link to comment
jennysilver Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 great idea. could be so helpful! Link to comment
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