THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[wcl]

back to day 1 after 6 days

i have no problem with that, went to LC, had to sort some things out, but what was said is making the NC a permanent thing, i am glad i broke NC because it has allowed me to see things and decide, i was being selfish and doing NC for hope more than anything, but i now know thats it, done and dusted, and i feel good about it!, carry on NC because its over. i can move on

[stacy2]

I hear you, Day 15 here, and there hasn't been a single peep since we broke up. Yet the night before we have our intimate time, I love you, and all is well... really makes you wonder about people. There is also a pride thing going on in my situation. We've been NC as long as 3+ weeks before in a previous break, so we'll see if she really starts to reach once we get past that threshold (knowing we can go that long, and I've caved before) but I wont be caving this time.

 

This, exactly.

 

Well... day 13. It's a gorgeous night out tonight and I had plans to go out with some girlfriends, but at the last minute cancelled and didn't feel up to it. I'm afraid drinking will only make me breakdown and try to contact you, that's the last thing I want to happen. Plus... I can't imagine even wanting to talk to or meet other guys right now, I just have no interest, hopefully that changes soon. I also know this is your last night on vacation then you have to come back and face reality and a huge part of me just feels relief about that. I have some of my stuff over there, I know you are too prideful to contact me about it but I hope when you come back you at least see some of my things and wonder what I've been up to.

[wcl]

back to square one again!

been pestered with text messages all night, had enough, and told her quite bluntly, i love her i want to be her friend, but i need to step away from it, and her, forget her, and come back when i can be clear headed and not forever be jealous or wanting, so i told her i cant see or talk to her for a good while yet, she keeps trying to ring me, i have had 6 missed calls in 2 hours, its hard i want to be with her now! but i now its best i dont

[resilient]

NC1 11 days, NC2 3 days, NC3 12 days

Broke my NC1 record. but I am not happy that I broke my record... still struggling to forget the wonderful moments we shared. I am sure we could have worked things out to the best of our interest if you gave it more time.

[twitchyfingers]

Day 80-something. Feeling bleh about the whole process.

 

I spent today re-assessing the reasons why an ongoing romantic relationship with this guy would not have been in my best interests (not that I was given a choice...grrr), but still am missing him. I'm having to remind myself why it wasn't possible, too, to continue a pseudo-friendship with him...I've been questioning if I threw the baby out with the bathwater when I went NC.

 

I know a big part of the blahs is related to having to find a new work gig. Unemployment isn't so good for self-esteem, and it hooks right into the lingering feelings of lowered self-worth from the breakup.

 

Onward and upward...time to reset my thinking to a more positive mental attitude. The future holds all sorts of unknowns, including happiness. Forward, march!

[stacy2]

Day 80-something. Feeling bleh about the whole process.

 

I spent today re-assessing the reasons why an ongoing romantic relationship with this guy would not have been in my best interests (not that I was given a choice...grrr), but still am missing him. I'm having to remind myself why it wasn't possible, too, to continue a pseudo-friendship with him...I've been questioning if I threw the baby out with the bathwater when I went NC.

 

I know a big part of the blahs is related to having to find a new work gig. Unemployment isn't so good for self-esteem, and it hooks right into the lingering feelings of lowered self-worth from the breakup.

 

Onward and upward...time to reset my thinking to a more positive mental attitude. The future holds all sorts of unknowns, including happiness. Forward, march!

 

I don't know what your situation is, but just curious... has he tried contacting you at all during those 80 days?

[twitchyfingers]

stacy2: Nope, not a lick of contact from him.

 

He and I were long distance, and maintained a very steady stream of email and IMs for a few weeks after I got friend-zoned. I tapered off my responses for a few days, and then didn't respond at all to a few of his chatty emails. He got the hint, I guess...never asked me what was up or anything; just went silent on his end. (Prior to that, if he didn't hear from me for even half a day, he would worry and get anxious.)

 

To be honest, part of me has been hoping he would show some sign of life (even if I then decided to ignore it). It's been holding me back from moving on.

 

Keep in mind, this wasn't a long-term relationship, so I really shouldn't expect even that.

[Sunshine7]

Day 14: Wake up you are the first thing on my mind, check the phone have you called/text, no, start thinking about the fact you are finding this easy and I really mean nothing, get an urge to contact him, stop myself, get depressed, get up, make tea think about what to do today, get anxious, get real, come on here. You never leave my head and it is tiring.

[NG85]

DAY 23:

 

Got a text and/or phone call from my ex every day the past few days. Finally I get an email from her today saying she's moving and wants to mail me some stuff she still has of mine. I'm about 99% sure she's moving in with her boyfriend based on the place she said she was moving.

 

I'm not too cracked up about it, but should I just break NC to give her my address so I can get my stuff? She's apparently moving before my NC period is up.

[thagator]

Two weeks NC. Weekend was tough, thought about you a lot because normally on one of those nights we would have hung out together. I was wondering if you miss me or not, I'm sure you do. Not feeling quite like myself just yet, but I'm patient by nature. I'm certainly not depressed...but I still want that chance to make things right.

[wcl]

text message after text message, shes hurt shes insulted, how could i ever do this to her, she wont ever talk to me again. then more text messages, and constant calls,. leave me alone, talk to me when you don't want to slag me off, i have done nothing wrong! I CANT TALK TO YOU, bad things happen, and i loose

[CaribbeanBoy]

Day 8 or so No contact..... this weekend I found my self thinking about you non stop... It been about two months since we broke up from a 3 year relationship..... I just wish you were here, but you hurt me so bad.... I have to stay in this corner with my heart in my hand and try to mend it back, but first I have to find the pieces............. sighhhhhhhhh

[NG85]

DAY 23 UPDATE:

 

First relapse of this NC period. I ended up sending her a quick text to give her my address so she could mail the stuff back to me. That's all I did, otherwise I'd probably never see anything she had of mine again.

[fissionfuser]

Day 1, NCII

 

I seem to be alright most of the day and then get down on myself in the evenings...probably because that's when we used to talk. I'm gonna try to stay busy during these times so my mind doesn't wander. I guess I'm just starting to miss the little things I used to have with her.

 

Either way, upward and onward from here hopefully. My record for NC is 6 days, we'll see if I break that this time.

[TheJerseyKid]

Day 1, NCII

My record for NC is 6 days, we'll see if I break that this time.

 

With that attitude you are doomed for failure. I know its hard, but convince yourself you WILL break the record, and don't be satisfied there, try going for at least a month or two. Day 6 might as well be day 1, the difference in going 1 day and going 6 is really next to nothing in the grand scheme, I think you need to set a higher goal for yourself, even if you have to take it one day at a time. I'm on day 17 and honestly it barely still feels like any time at all, and as much as I want her to shoot me a text or something (even though I have no intentions on responding) I would still love the ego boost. But still, I know not anywhere near enough time has gone by. I can't honestly picture me being truly nonchalant and having a natural carefree conversation with her for a solid few months. I suspect in my situation she may try and come back some day, but I have been doormatted too many times, and I have closed this chapter for good.

[cheriex333]

Super Dave, this is a GREAT idea! I'm so thankful to have landed on this site. I welcome this NC challenge!

 

Day 1

I feel shocked this is the end and pained bc of my hopefulness that maybe it is not the end. I know hope breeds suffering so the sooner I accept it re faster I'll heal. I think about him every moment and I feel crazy obsessed. I want to run over to his place break down and apologize for all my mistakes and ask for us to try. I play out te scene but I know things did not resolve and te reasons we broke up still remain. I feel so weak lonely, depressed and exhausted.

[wcl]

whats the time 3am? so many text messages, i have turned my phone off, and tomorrow i will tell her politely again that's it! if you want to contact me be serious, i can feel the annoyance and anger, amazingly, i am surprised at my self i am feeling past that, she isnt, shes directing alot at me, get past that and we will talk, and i will be happy too, when your clear headed, i WANT a clear headed convo, sort it out and go on from there. talk to me, dont moan at me

[Sunshine7]

Day 15: Still feels fresh in the mind, have done many things but nothing seems to override my thoughts of him. I wonder (as this is now a record for me which I am so pleased about!!!) does he think of me or wonder where the hell I am???

[cheriex333]

Day 2

 

Had a dream last night that I was suicidal and crashed my car and you rushed to console me. In my dream you were so strong and understanding. Woke up took a few mins to remember we are no longer together. Bleh! Feel crappy on a Monday morning. I read something about emotional bond like do you feel safe telling your SO everything without fear of judgement? Its sad to say that through experience I know when I've told my ex things before like some of my insecurities or just ask him things he gets so mad at me. Why? This makes me feel so ashamed and * * * * ty.

[resilient]

NC1 11 days, NC2 3 days, NC3 13 days

nearing two weeks NC.. feeling better yet bitter

[thagator]

Day 15: Today is going to be one of my good days. Thought hard last night, and now I'm just thinking about letting you go completely. I offered to work things out, and you refused, your loss. You think you will find another guy patient enough to deal with your mood swings and often selfish behavior and stick with them knowing you have the inability to commit? And them knowing you can never love them as much as they love you? Good luck with that. Can I have the thousands of dollars I spent on you back?

[stacy2]

Day 15

 

Mornings seem to be the only time I miss you, I woke up this morning literally aching wishing you were next to me. I didn't want to get up and face the day. I feel much better now though. I'm starting to think of you less and less, and be okay with not being with you. If I already am starting to feel this way as the dumpee, I can only imagine how over this you must already feel as the dumper. This is the first break-up I have had where I feel completely powerless and rejected, I think that's why this has been harder than any other. The fact that you haven't called at all these past two weeks to fight for me back makes me feel so worthless in your eyes. You are the only person I want, and knowing that you don't feel the same and there's nothing I can do about it, sucks a lot.

 

After this week, I'll be done counting the days. I don't plan on contacting you again and I don't plan on hearing from you again. I don't want to accept that I'll never see you again, but that's starting to look like the reality of the situation. I have very little hope at this point, I need to stop holding on.

[dumpee]

6 months since break up, 4 weeks since she told me she had got married, 22 days of NC from that point before she emailed me. Now on day 5 of renewed NC and I have no desire to contact her.

[cheriex333]

Update NC day 2

 

Found out from a friend the ex has immediately change his FB to single and put in his status something like "finally got rid of the crazy!". Wow I was so hurt and upset! His actions are so juvenile and disrespectful. Just bc we broke up I don't go publicizing it and announce nasty things about him. I'm glad I found out bc its changing my perception of him and whether I even want someone like that back in my life.

 

I want to say to hin: F U! Eff you and your self righteous trifling a-- friend. You have no respect for me even as a person and I'm glad I no longer have to defend myself to you or your judgmental biyatch of a friend.

 

Day 2

 

Had a dream last night that I was suicidal and crashed my car and you rushed to console me. In my dream you were so strong and understanding. Woke up took a few mins to remember we are no longer together. Bleh! Feel crappy on a Monday morning. I read something about emotional bond like do you feel safe telling your SO everything without fear of judgement? Its sad to say that through experience I know when I've told my ex things before like some of my insecurities or just ask him things he gets so mad at me. Why? This makes me feel so ashamed and * * * * ty.

[wilyone 11]

I'm on Day 11 of NC. I have been posting to the "8 week challenge for ladies" but will post here instead.

 

I feel differently every single day. Some days I'm really angry and other days like today I'm sad and miss him so much.

 

I actually called a fairly well-known psychic to get the scoop on how he's doing, how things are going with the exciting new woman (the main reason he broke up with me although he didn't admit it).

 

It was interesting. The psychic said that my ex is angry at me for not at least accepting his friendship. He misses me and definitely loves me, but I was "too much work and trouble, too demanding." He's 39 and going through a mid-life crisis basically. And he's not the new woman's type. She likes guys with darker skin and a bigger penis. My ex does have a relatively small penis although I'm very petite so it's perfect for me. Psychic said he will be humbled and will make contact with me again in a couple of months. So I will get another shot if I want, but the psychic said the guy is an idiot and I should run like hell.

 

I wish I could fall out of love with this idiot!