THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Animelover6764]

Day 10

 

feeling mellow

[Irishguy1125]

Kennyc90, it sounds like your positive attitude has been working for you, I hope the best, keep up the great work! As for me, day 9, went to a great party last night, woke up with a crazy hangover but not to the thought of her which was probably just the alcohol suppressing that haha. I still have this seeping fear in my head that being NC will cause her to think I have just up and moved on during our break which scares me but also maybe she will be more receptive to getting back together if she knows that I am not so concerned about the relationship, the reason being we took a "break" because of her not feeling like she was putting as much in the relationship as me and wasn't sure how she felt about me anymore, still hate hearing that though.

[ceallach]

Happy Birthday for yesterday

And well done for maintaining a positive attitude, it's great to hear that you are getting stronger and staying focused. It's encouraging to hear.

 

Day 1 for me again. Had a very up and down day. Found out that last night he completely broke down at work in tears and had to take half an hour to calm himself. It broke my heart all over again hearing that. Wish i could reach out to him but i can't. Wish i could convince him that it doesn't have to be this way, that we can fix this, but i can't. Just have to let him go and do what he has to do.

 

Started the day off well, felt really positive and went swimming for the first time in years. Going to keep it up, felt so much better afterwards. But this evening the tears came, for the first time in a week. Have spent the last few hours wandering around the house aimlessly, crying my eyes out. I know it will pass.

[brandnewday47]

Happy Birthday kenny!

 

I'm currently at day 38. How do I feel? Hard to explain... I'm 32 going on 33, and some days I feel like things will fall into place, that I will find my match someday and I will have a someone to grow old with. Other days I feel the opposite, like 35 years from now I'll be checking into an old persons home by myself, and living the rest of my days alone or accompanying relatives.

 

It was a good weekend... played golf and actually played well (for me), with the exception of a blow up hole. Forgot sunscreet though (oops!!).

 

How do I feel about her now? That's hard to answer. Some days I feel thankful for the time we did spend together and even though it didn't work, glad of the opportunity. Other times I get upset that I took a lot of the fall/blame for the demise of the relationship, when in hindsight it was a two way street. During those times I wonder if for once she will stick through a relationship longer than 16 months (our time, which was the longest either of us has been in a relationship - but I wanted to stick to it for a LOT longer), or if she will decide to move onto another guy by november or december. If she sticks with anything, it will be this one as her family wanted this to happen.

 

I know I shouldn't, but I wonder if I will hear from her at all this year - in particular my birthday (mid - September). I actually believe that she forgot me a while back, so I doubt that will happen. All in all, I shouldn't be even thinking this, especially over half a year out from the breakup. This is a long process.

 

Hang in there guys and gals, we are all in this journey together and hopefully when the time is right we will find peace. I get to that point off and on, but that's really all I'm looking for now.

 

Someday when I'm comfortable with the story and it's completeness (and whatever the end of the story is), I'll post a separate thread. Might be a bit though

[SHINK]

Day 9

 

Starting to pay less attention to X-ing off days on the calendar. I'm out with friends a lot and have been having a lot of fantastic days since the breakup. Today we had a cookout (a rare treat for me) for my friend's wife, whose birthday was 2 days ago. I'm still an introvert by nature, but when opportunity to converse with people (mostly female) did come, it was smooth and easy. We hung out at a pool. I'm not a swimmer, but plan to start working on it sometime soon. I kept thinking about Cristina, thinking it'd be great to see her swim as she so loves, and to swim with her. I keep mulling over breaking the no contact. I just would like to start talking again, not even necessarily to pursue a reconciliation, but to just talk to someone I share a great friendship with. It might not yet be time, so I wait it out.

 

I feel more and more like I understand the need to be happy with myself first. I am, I am finally gaining an awareness that I am an awesome guy. This doesn't mean I don't still want Cristina back, though, but it does mean I feel like I can live with it if she decides to continue missing out on having me in her life.

[kennyc90]

Day 8

 

Thank you guys for the greetings! Today was an "ok" day at best. I think I'm starting to catch a fever or some sort of sickness because I'm feeling a little light headed. I went out with my friends pretty much the whole day. Like I said, I felt sick through the whole day so that kinda affected me. We ended up going to the mall my ex always goes to. No lie, I kept on thinking that I was seeing her! I was becoming paranoid!! So from that point on, I was kinda out of it and wasn't very talkative anymore. So later on that night, my ex wanted to be friends with one of my friends on facebook (I posted this problem in another thread on here). Now I'm in my friends apartment just watching TV and facebooking with a few of my other friends here. My day was wasn't all that good

[Rotxsen]

Day 196 I guess.

 

So, yesterday I graduated. Ex sent me a message at night congratulating me.

I replied politely.

 

And then I removed her as a friend from facebook.

Should have done that months ago.

 

As my presumptions on her being in a relationship with the other guy materializes further, I have no intention in being part of her life, period.

 

After out 'scouting' lunch next month and then a group dinner in sept, I plan of leaving her life for good.

 

I entered university meeting my first love.

And now as I leave, I leave behind my first love.

 

TC all and happy healing, growing, having fun!

 

TS

 

Damn, bro you should have done this a long time ago but I solute your courage now it's time to keep on moving mate.

[TSandullo]

Damn, bro you should have done this a long time ago but I solute your courage now it's time to keep on moving mate.

 

LOL buddy. Just thinking abouyt you and Loxxt and bite and getbii... lol the crew

 

It would have been immature if I removed her months back due to uni work, club work, group projects, group trips and other stuff.

 

Now that I have graduated and I really have no need to be in contact with her, it is 'remove friend' for me.

 

Having said that, I'm having lunch with her in 3 weeks

 

Long story that.

 

will explain later.

 

Hope you are good and that ninjitsu going well.

 

Osu!

 

TS

[Irishguy1125]

day 10 for me, went to a great party saturday so i spent most of sunday hungover and tired so i didn't really think about her that much, not until last night when i just really started to miss her and it feels like these last ten days have been months since i last talked her, like i can't even remember being together with her, very weird. So I do want to contact her somewhat soon because we go to the same college and are in the same co-ed fraternity so i will be seeing a lot of her so being NC is really awkward so I do want to talk to her soon, i just need a plan on what to say!

[Rotxsen]

LOL buddy. Just thinking abouyt you and Loxxt and bite and getbii... lol the crew

 

It would have been immature if I removed her months back due to uni work, club work, group projects, group trips and other stuff.

 

Now that I have graduated and I really have no need to be in contact with her, it is 'remove friend' for me.

 

Having said that, I'm having lunch with her in 3 weeks

 

Long story that.

 

will explain later.

 

Hope you are good and that ninjitsu going well.

 

Osu!

 

TS

 

I took a break from Ninjutsu for a bit since going to the classes took me 2 hours in train so I'm focusing on getting a car and saving some money but dude play your cards right because in three weeks it might be the last time you might meet her mate god bless and loxxt and getbi will show up eventually lol

[ceallach]

Day 2

 

Not a good day

[blueeyedme]

I don't know, none of the days are good...on Day 4 after a relapse. She texted me amongst other things "I will call - I just need some time" last Thursday night. I didn't respond...but I wanted to say 'Don't bother' or 'Need time for what?' First I have heard from her since 7/4 when it was all I love you and miss you's before she went MIA again. While I am still in limbo-land right now, I am starting to let go and I am feeling stronger...but damn it, I still want/welcome the call. Hope to eventually get to the point that I don't care if I ever get the call.

[brandnewday47]

I don't know, none of the days are good...on Day 4 after a relapse. She texted me amongst other things "I will call - I just need some time" last Thursday night. I didn't respond...but I wanted to say 'Don't bother' or 'Need time for what?' First I have heard from her since 7/4 when it was all I love you and miss you's before she went MIA again. While I am still in limbo-land right now, I am starting to let go and I am feeling stronger...but damn it, I still want/welcome the call. Hope to eventually get to the point that I don't care if I ever get the call.

 

Trust me, not responding and replying with 'silence' is a much better option at least for right now. Responding would have opened a big can of worms and set yourself back again. For right now, you cannot mess up by not responding. At a certain time you can get to a point where any response will not hurt you, but it doesn't seem to be there yet.

 

Look out for yourself.. in the end that is the person you need to care for most!

[kennyc90]

Day 9

 

I caught the cold today so I felt out of it most of the day, especially at work. I still went to dance class which is 20 minutes away from where I live. After dance class, I decided just to eat locally. My ex lives in the same area where my dance class is. So I kept on getting flash backs of my ex as I was driving through the streets. I went to a target just to go looking around to see if I needed anything. Then I went to this place where they sell these really good drinks. I'm not gonna lie, the whole time I was at the part of San Diego where my ex lives, I kept on hoping I would see her it's just this feeling whenever I go to that part of town. I drove back to my friends apartment because a lot of my friends were just hanging out there. I had a great time and didn't think of my ex a lot. When I keep myself occupied, I don't think about my ex a lot, period. Other than me catching the cold today, I had a great day today.

[seizeyourwings]

6 months, give or take. Late nights are really the only time it aches anymore, and it only aches. Never the stabbing pain like it used to be. Just a dull pressure, a faint hurt. And only because insomnia brings up stuff I wouldn't think about otherwise.

 

Do you ever think about me?

Do you ever want me to talk to you?

Oh well.

Don't look back, the past is just that.

 

 

I promise you all: it does get better.

[Irishguy1125]

Day 11, feeling pretty good about things, woke up without thinking about her this morning which was the first time in a little while, went to see a professional relationship expert who really helped me sort things out and give me a positive outlook on it all, if you can do it, i would definitely suggest it. I got a personalized plan based on what all i told her and so far it is working pretty well. I think the difference between my NC and everyone else is that I am going to see her in about two weeks due to college being back and us being in the same social circle and same campus activities. So right now I am just doing NC to help me sort out where I want things to be in my life, making the most of this dull summer and keeping it all in perspective. Best of luck to everyone so far, You all can do it!

[heartbroken14]

Day 25.... post break up, day 26.... Found out he met a girl one week prior to our break up and has been texting/calling her every day all day since they met. he text me lastnight saying he saw me at the groc store and wanted to drop off my apt key (my locks are changed now little does he know) and bring some stuff back.. obviously i havent needed them. I ignored him, he sent back two more texts asking if i received his text then again asking if i was not going to talk to him. I responded to nothing... This is SOOOO hard. But i was heart broken to hear about the new girl and heart broken for him to want to bring my stuff back. I dont want to see him and dont want my stuff back as I will just cry and cry again.

[Eddie37]

6 months, give or take. Late nights are really the only time it aches anymore, and it only aches. Never the stabbing pain like it used to be. Just a dull pressure, a faint hurt. And only because insomnia brings up stuff I wouldn't think about otherwise.

 

Do you ever think about me?

Do you ever want me to talk to you?

Oh well.

Don't look back, the past is just that.

 

 

I promise you all: it does get better.

Good to hear. Yep, it'll get better.

[kennyc90]

Good job guys! Keep it up!!

 

Day 10

 

I still have the cold and I didn't feel all that well today. I thought about my ex quite a bit today. I ended up to the point where I actually started to miss her a lot again. I went to the mall after work today with my friends and I dressed neatly. I noticed that a lot of girls were checking me hehe so I felt great about that ever since I bought new clothes, it's like girls have been checking me out!! I didn't care about looks so much when I was with my ex but now it feels great to look neat and clean hehe ;P so anyways, I stayed at my friends apartment after I went to the mall. I decided to talk to people on facebook, people I don't even know and I started to chat with this one girl who seems really cool. I didn't talk much but I want to get to know her better and maybe go on a casual date with her. The problem is, she lives in the same part of town where my ex lives so yeah.. other than that, my day has gone smoothly except for the fact of me having the cold.. ;D

[heartbroken14]

Day 26, post break up day 27. --- Starting to feel worse. He was at the ballfields yesterday and made a point to stop at the batting cage i was in to sit and have a convo with someone. I never made eye contact and focused on my hitting. He text me 2 days ago wanting to discuss the dog and bring some of my stuff back (what he has i have no idea, nor do i apparently need them if i havent noticed anything gone) so i did not respond at all. he text me two more times asking if i was not going to talk to him.. some how some way i stood my ground and sent nothing back. Afraid i am just pushing him farther into this girl's arms (even though she lives 3 states away.) They talk all the time and he seems so happy and bounces around while i am a wreck inside. its not fair. Not sure what i should do!?

 

last night was the first night i REALLY wanted to text him and truly almost did.

[Irishguy1125]

Day 12 of NC, woke up missing her, she updated her facebook profile picture, she looks so beautiful and happy, makes me miss her so much. We go back to school 2 weeks from today, very nervous about how that first interaction will go. Trying to pick things back up in a relationship seems like a very scary task, it kind of sucks to think that you get so far with someone, the flirting, the getting together, etc process, then you aren't sure how you feel and you have to restart the WHOLE process all over again without knowing an end result, hmmmm

[SHINK]

I broke no contact two days ago. I had blocked her on MSN a couple weeks back, but took a look at her profile. She had set as her status "Be my lifeline for this lifetime," which is a lyric to "The Dark" by her favorite band, Sonata Arctica. Here are the lyrics: link removed

 

An exerpt: I'm from where the magic is

 

I'll give you what I cannot take away with me

 

And the sunlit day and moon

 

I wanna have a silent kiss, I wanna make you mine,

 

I'm thinking how... can't leave me now

 

Stay with me somehow

 

 

 

You come from where the fire is, you give me what you couldn't burn the last time

 

One sunless day and moon

 

I wanna be so close to you, see whatever scars you carry within your broken heart,

 

Mine's your missing heart

**************************

I felt sad and happy all at once. It just seemed obviously about she and I. I felt a glimmer of hope, a reminder that she still loves me. It was a 'special' occasion-she NEVER sets statuses, and she posted it right after we had the only argument/'fight' we've ever had. I saw her hop on MSN earlier and I didn't have much time to talk, but asked her how long she was going to be on. Not long, had to work soon. She hit me with 'just a second' and I just said a couple pleasant things (nothing lovey-dovey) and said I had to go and that I'd talk to her later. Being busy and in a good mood is one thing the 'get your ex back' books say, and I ended the discussion on my terms. It may not be major progress, and I don't have my hopes up so high that I'll be crushed if I don't hear from her, but I felt like the door needed to seem like it's open if she wants to try again sometime.

 

I don't really feel bad about this lapse in my no contact streak. I feel guardedly hopeful, and shocked/relieved to know I must be on her mind about the same way she is on mine.

[sillytimes]

Right am joining the no contact thread. Day 1- cried a few times, feeling really down BUT I know this is what I need to do! I can do this challenge...

[ceallach]

Day 4

 

Wake up each day feeling a little stronger, determined to not let it ruin my day. My appetite is slowly coming back and i am feeling more motivated. Feels like the evenings are getting harder though. Gets to about 7pm and i start feeling so lonely. I miss telling him about my day. I hate going to bed alone. I miss his warmth next to me. Still can't believe he's gone.

[vertigoxo]

Day 3

 

Short term relationship with a 20 year old ended. He dumped me. I really felt that we could be together for a long while, if only he got rid of his insecurities.

 

Anyway... Today I seem much better already than the first day of NC. I'll be moving hundreds away, to Texas, probably on the first week of August. So that's exciting. There's so many Cosmetology schools there, and very prestigious ones as well. So I'm happy for finally going for my dreams and making myself happy.

 

I took this broken heart calculator the other night. Says it might take me 8 weeks till I'm 100% over him, and that's if I keep up with the NC, I'm assuming. Sigh... Oh well. Who knows what will happen in the future. All I know is, that we could have had something really special. Too bad he let it go.