FortunateOne Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 OMG, are you serious? What happened next? I mean, if they broke up, it's possible that you saved this woman's life. Yes... She stayed with him due to his physical threats and his money. The only reason I told her was because she came to me crying for the truth since I knew about all his lovers. The cops said it was my word against his due to no witness even though I had defensive wounds on my hands when I wrestled the knife away from him. Now my rule is to stay clear of this issue no matter how much they beg. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 There is no good reason to turn your back on the truth. Dis-honesty and selfishness is a disease that should not be ignored. Yes I would tell them. As far as someone coming after me because of it. My father taught me "If a bully is walking down the street you don't cross to the other side because of fear of what might happen, and if you do get beat up you simply round up some of your friends and put him in the hospital" Honesty and integrity are hard, that is why the people that have the most are so well respected. lost Link to comment
odile Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Yes... She stayed with him due to his physical threats and his money. The only reason I told her was because she came to me crying for the truth since I knew about all his lovers. The cops said it was my word against his due to no witness even though I had defensive wounds on my hands when I wrestled the knife away from him. Now my rule is to stay clear of this issue no matter how much they beg. What, did they think it was stigmata?! Nightmare. I hope they at least granted you a restraining order. Also, it is INSANE that she stayed with that man, truly insane. Link to comment
girl68 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 1 *If you knew someone was being cheated on, would you tell them? 2 *If you didn't tell them, would you feel bad just knowing about it? 3 *What would you do about it? 1 which person do I know (and am friends with- otherwise I don't care) the cheater or the one that is being cheated on? a- If I know the cheater only I wouldn't say a thing. b- If I know the person being cheated on only, I would tell them. c- If I know both parties, I would first confront the cheater and tell him it's wrong, fess up, stop it or break up. If the cheater didn't confess and didn't do anything about it I would tell the other. 2 a- nope, becasue I do believe that either way finding out or not, the truth will make it's way out and at that point my only business is my friend not the interests of other party. b and c- NA 3 Honestly I care about those closest to me, so I don't really care too much about folks who I'm not tight with. So my loyalty remains to my closest friends first. I do not tell their secrets but I will tell other people business if it relates to those whom I'm closest with. It is purely a loyalty thing. Link to comment
MinziGirl Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 This is a sticky one... It would depends on how to tell... whether to tell or not, it is clear. For me, i would tell if i know that person very very well Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 If I knew for a fact, basically if I saw it myself...then yes...otherwise no. I'm not going off hear-say....I have to see the evidence for myself. Link to comment
Tiredofthehurt Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 I'm involved in this situation, and I wish I'd kept my mouth shut. My ex had an affair, and would every now and again in one way or another use it to hurt me. The last time she did it I saw red, and decided to spill the beans, which also included letting the guys brothers wife know (he had cheated on her too at the same time). At the time I was blinded by my anger and pain, and allowed myself to be goaded into doing something that could hurt a lot of people. I feel like absolute scum, but I just couldn't take the smugness of being constantly punished for something she'd done wrong. Now she's threatening to ruin my life, and I'm guessing this is only the beginning. Link to comment
Tiredofthehurt Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 I'm feeling really bad about this now. I may have screwed up so many lives because I lost my temper. I should have just dismissed the games that were being played, but I got so sick of constantly being made to feel bad for something that somebody else did, that I lost all sight of what was right. I hate myself for it, but I was just hurt and angry beyond belief. Link to comment
Just Me85 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I feel it would be none of my business. If the cheater was my friend I would tell them that i know and ask them why they are doing it and give them advice and tell them they need to make a decision because its unfair on their partner. If my friend was being cheated on id still probably let the cheater know i know and see what happens. Also, things arent always as they seem so dont be hasty and jump to conclusions. Is there any chance what you saw could have been misunderstood? (eg the "cheater" might have been hit on and pushed the other person away.) Your friends need guidance. do you really want to be the one to break their heart? just be there for them when they find out because it wont stay secret forever trust me. Hope this helps Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 In my experience most people that say they wouldn't say anything have never been cheated on. That or they are more loyal to the cheater than the one being cheated on. Yes, absolutely I would. Another person's health is at risk and I am not one to simply sit back and not get involved. I look at it this way: if it were happening to me, I would want to know. I simply treat others the way I wanted to be treated. Link to comment
FortunateOne Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 In my experience most people that say they wouldn't say anything have never been cheated on. That or they are more loyal to the cheater than the one being cheated on. Yes, absolutely I would. Another person's health is at risk and I am not one to simply sit back and not get involved. I look at it this way: if it were happening to me, I would want to know. I simply treat others the way I wanted to be treated. I've been cheated on and I still wouldn't tell since if you read my prior post you'd see that the cheater can try to kill you for snitching on them. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I've been cheated on and I still wouldn't tell since if you read my prior post you'd see that the cheater can try to kill you for snitching on them. I think you would have to admit that is an extreme circumstance. They could kill you just to get you out of the way so they could be with the person you are with. Link to comment
jengh Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 My ex's best friend told me. I thought that really said a lot about his character, I think it took a lot of balls to "betray" a friend like that to do what's right.. So yes, I would tell them. Link to comment
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