Billbo_Bologna Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Well, I have been reading here for a month. I just signed up tonight. I was with my x for 10 years. . I am a month into getting dumped. It was a total shock. The first 3 weeks I thought I was killing over. The last week wasn’t much better. Still here right? This week the anger got the best of me in emails and what started as the normal house sale and financial talk, I finally unleashed. I feel really bad, but I am not going to ask for forgiveness. I wrote something today to help me see some of the items I was unaware of that was going on around me. It helped me a lil. This is about the cold people that drag you through the mud. They are completely out of love with you. For some strange sick and cold reason they drag you down while going through the paces. They are working out a way to give you the great news that you aren’t the problem, it’s them. You can only hope it’s a week, but in most cases its months. These sick people are going thru the break up stage while you two are together. The last 3 months: The calls that you used to get when they got off work slow down or stop completely. The IM conversations you had during work time diminish to only business style conversations. When they get home you no longer get the same greeting you once had. Sometimes it’s just a hello sometimes it’s nothing at all. The touch you give them and the expressions they give you is that you are clingy. Your normal habits that once made them laugh are no longer amusing and are seen as a fault. You rarely make them laugh at all. Your normal cleaning routine is seen as surface cleaning and not what the manager wants. Hints may be made about death or dealing with breakups. This is where they test your dealing with it skills. Hints may be made regarding some couples in your circle not getting along or fighting. THE SEX turns into a chore to them and sometimes doesn’t exist. If you can’t see it’s a chore, bleed one turnip and re-read this. You offer to go out with them one night…. They say no. Then later they say they want to go out with their friends. They begin to shut you off. You will see this by the amount of TV they watch by themselves. They pick up a new hobby. The know this is what everyone says after a break up.. haha start a new hobby. A new book worm in your house has arrived, and it isn’t you. If you try to talk with the worm, you are still in the larva stage and they cut you off. Your once fun talking ride to the grocery store is no longer talking. It’s them reading a book, not talking to you. They no longer talk about future plans. They might create a fight to see if you feel the same, basically testing your reactions. You get some sex and after words they seem to show you it’s the last time by being very silent or cold. Its almost like you just violated them for the last time. Believe me you will see the last sex time…. OR IN THEIR CASE, CHORE! They might complain about the simple things you used to do for them. They used to love them, now they find faults and tell you about them. They are always on a different page than you emotionally. This is a big one… The eye contact you used to get is gone. I bet there are tons of others and I would be honored if some of you share. Im sure everyone saw some signs but was aware at the time.... Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 you saw all of this? at least you've realized how broken things are...or were. it's pretty sad though...when you think of a loving relationship...and how all you've both come to feel...is resentment. my most recent ex said she had to do it...because she was sure we'd just end up resenting each other. i think it's probably true. you tell it like it is... Link to comment
circi Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 I can identify with so many of these signs. I saw them and confronted him, but he blamed it on working too much or other reasons. And wanting to believe that..I did. Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Add in trying to renegotiate her rent down even though shed just ha pay rise. (going out more) And generally arguments about money. Not wanting to go out with your friends. And watching sex and the city again Link to comment
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