MarkD Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 hey everyone! I thought I share what I have experienced to maybe help some people get through probably some of the most difficult times you will EVER experience. It was been almost 2 years since my ex and I broke up. We were together for around 5 years. We seemed to be the perfect couple. Many people would tell us that after spending time with us. This all changed one day... She broke up with me and never took me back after trying everything in the book. I was in BAD shape for a while. I almost lost my job....wouldnt talk to friends...would cry ALL the time...drove by her house 24-7...walked by her work...I did EVERYTHING! I thought my life was over without her, and thought I would never find anyone like her. Well here I am...HAPPY!!!! It has been almost 2 years now...yes i still think of her, but it's just different now. When you really think about it...why would you want someone to be with someone who doesnt want to be with you? I have more respect for myself then to put up with that. After the breakup, I ended up going on anti depresants since everything was going downhill. I stopped taking the meds around 3 months ago and I feel great. I didnt like having to depend on medication...it truly helped me get passed the roughest part of the breakup though...so dont hesitate to see your doctor. Since the breakup...I bought my own home...a new car....a motorcycle (always wanted one, but the ex wouldnt let me have one) ...have a good job...and have been meeting some really nice girls. I was pleased to see that there are many nice, good looking, "normal" single girls out there. I am back to being myself...and people around me are so happy to have ME back! It was a long road....but even after knowing how much pain I went through, I would do it again. You need to experience it... I would be more then happy to answer questions that might help someone else out. I talked to many people on this site, and they were the people that helped me get through all of this. I still talk to some of those people now! What I would tell someone going through a breakup right now...and this is what my Mother told me.... "do what you think feels right" If the other person truly loves you, no matter what you do, they will want to be with you. It really is that simple. There's no way of "tricking" someone into loving you.... I hope everyone stays positive...and I hope posting this message can atleast help one person know that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.... Link to comment
Casey13 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Inspiring story! Congrats and remember that getting through an experience like that you are now a much stronger individual for it, better equipped to face life and future relationships but im sure you already know that Link to comment
sad_panda Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Congratulations to you! I like hearing success stories. Time does heal. Link to comment
Johnathan Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 ...and have been meeting some really nice girls. I was pleased to see that there are many nice, good looking, "normal" single girls out there. where do you live? They must have unicorns and dodo birds there too j/k Link to comment
UCLAMike Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 here's a question for me, it's been 7 months. Even after all she has done to be cold and harsh with me, for some reason when the storm settles down I have no guilt or anger towards her. Sure I'd feel disrespected and abandoned, but I always somehow find the heart to forgive her and wish her well. I've been actually praying for myself but also for her. I'm at a different place now, definitely have accepted that it's over and the trauma is passing. I am slightly still rattled. Will I ever get to the place of I dont want her back? is it necessary to completely get over them? Truth is, I am really moving on and learning to live without her. I am even thinking about living without thinking about her, but I don't know if I will ever be "over it." Link to comment
tx01 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 2 years is a long time to go through that. I am glad you are feeling better. Was there anything specifically you did post-breakup that you wish you didn't do (I.e. thinking she would come back, calling once a month, meeting up with her)? Link to comment
MarkD Posted March 5, 2009 Author Share Posted March 5, 2009 I was in the same boat. She could do NOOOO wrong in my books. Until one day I woke up, and I was just PISSED! It hit me at once...I was angry and still am. I am over it and can let it go, but she hurt me and I will not forgive her for that! Some people go through the different stages at different times... Just keep your chin up! here's a question for me, it's been 7 months. Even after all she has done to be cold and harsh with me, for some reason when the storm settles down I have no guilt or anger towards her. Sure I'd feel disrespected and abandoned, but I always somehow find the heart to forgive her and wish her well. I've been actually praying for myself but also for her. I'm at a different place now, definitely have accepted that it's over and the trauma is passing. I am slightly still rattled. Will I ever get to the place of I dont want her back? is it necessary to completely get over them? Truth is, I am really moving on and learning to live without her. I am even thinking about living without thinking about her, but I don't know if I will ever be "over it." Link to comment
MarkD Posted March 5, 2009 Author Share Posted March 5, 2009 Yeah 2 years IS a long time... As far as doing things...yep...did lots of them! I wrote her mooshie txt messages...bought her a couple lil things that she liked...talked to her friends...facebook crepped her....drove by her house all the time....hacked her email account...YOU NAME IT!!!! I dont even know who I was then...its like I was someone else in my body. Oh well.... 2 years is a long time to go through that. I am glad you are feeling better. Was there anything specifically you did post-breakup that you wish you didn't do (I.e. thinking she would come back, calling once a month, meeting up with her)? Link to comment
girl68 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 See we weren't lying when we said ONE day... Link to comment
MarkD Posted March 5, 2009 Author Share Posted March 5, 2009 I know medication isnt for everyone...but I tried to go without for as long as I could, but my Doctor did not like where I was headed, so he suggested a mild anti depressant to see how it would go... The meds really helped me think clearly and stay focussed on the big picture...I stayed on them for approx a year and 1/2 and then weaned myself off them. Link to comment
osterfanish Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 MarkD, thank you for posting your success story. I am currently in a very similar situation that it sounds like you were in. I am obsessed with my ex and the fact that I found out (through snooping) she started to see someone else immediately after she broke up with me four months ago. The story is very long and cluttered, and at the risk of high jacking your thread, I will refrain from the details, other than I initiated no contact 2 weeks ago. I have never felt this way and feel like I am being driven insane from the anxiety and obsession I am feeling. I am not feeling depressed though - just mad anxiety and loss of focus for anything other than her and the new person she is with. Any advice from you (or anyone else) that can help? I have seen a therapist twice in the past two weeks, but it hasn't seemed to help... Link to comment
babes23 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Thanks for that Mark, always nice to see that things do infact get better x Link to comment
MarkD Posted March 6, 2009 Author Share Posted March 6, 2009 I know what youre saying! I went MENTAL! Was doing things I thoguth I woudl NEVER do. You dont realize just how crazy you get till you look back and go "wow". I went to a couple shrinks too..did NOTHING for me. They just let me ramble on and got nothing from it. I guess its because I was looking for an answer, when really, there was no answer.... The anxiety is UNREALL....whenever I would feel that anxiety buildup, I would get myself outside and walk/jog or bike. That was my medicine...Ive never walked so much. I also had a couple friends on here that I would email or txt to talk to when it got back. You will find that the people around you wont have the patience to listen to you. All I got from people around me was "just get on with you life..." some would even say "go &*%&^% some other girl and it will make you feel better". Some people just dont get it... Thats why the best thing would be to find someone you can talk to that has either gone through it, or is going through it at the same time. I have MSN...I would be more then happy to be that person you could talk to since Im at a computer quite often. Let me know if you wanted to chat.. Link to comment
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