Should I tell my boyfriend?

[Firiel]

Last Saturday I had the worst day I've had in awhile. I'm going through a lot of stuff with my family where they are hugely disappointed in me and where I'm struggling with overwhelming guilt and anxiety. I think I may be clinically depressed as I have been struggling with these feelings since October.

 

Anyway, last Saturday, it was all just overwhelming me, and for the first time in a long time, I really thought about suicide. I don't think I ever actually intended to do anything, but I gathered all my medicine together and looked up the doses online to see if it would be enough for a lethal dose. I sat at my computer, typed out a note to my parents, boyfriend, and friends and then just sobbed for a few minutes.

 

Like I said, I'm still not sure how much of this was serious and how much was just some sort of twisted catharsis. But I guess what I want to know is if I should tell my boyfriend about this incident. He knows I'm going through a tough time... I know this will make him worry, and I don't want to do that. But on the other hand, I feel sort of obligated to tell him considering he's the most important person in my life right now. And it may be good for someone to know just how bad I'm feeling.

 

So, tell him or not?

[turkieblue]

If you trust him, tell him. He will be there to support you. He will be worried, but he would rather you trust him and tell him, than bottle it up.

 

It's how you feel about him, I would wait for the advice of others, but I would STRONGLY PREFER that my girlfriend told me, so I can be there to support her, rather than bottling it up, and leaving me a goodbye note. That note would destroy me, because it would be so unexpected, and I would have gone over it forever doubting myself, and asking if I could do more.

[Tethryn]

Being dead wont make you feel any better, nothing will change or improve for you if your not there to experience it in any way shape or form. If your going to do that, do it for a "decent" reason, like shoving someone out of the way of on coming traffic or something! Not because of what someone thinks of you! I agree that you should tell him, I think as your Significant Other it's his responsibility to listen and help you through things, that same goes for you. Suicide is never an answer to anything!

[waveseer]

I've been where you are but didn't have a boyfriend at the time so I told my best girl friend. I'd say choose at least one friend of any variety to confide in, it could save your life, it did save mine.

[berrypatch]

Tell him. If he is truly caring and tuned in to you he will support you and encourage you. If he is not, it is better to know that as well....

And the others are right...suicide is a desperate action meant to end emotional pain. It is a poor choice and leaves a lot of pain behind. If you cannot stop feeling low, talk to a professional counselor or pastor.

[JimmerJammer]

Firiel,

 

I can personally attest to this situation with the experience I have. It's quite humbling to admit to oneself just why it is that the choice to harm oneself seems a viable one. I mean think about it, things can't be good if you're considering harming yourself. I don't mean to make that sound negative or frightening, but I think to have thoughts alone is pretty serious.

 

Whatever it is in your life that is causing such depression in you that you would contemplate something like this must really say something to you. To know just why it is you feel it has come to this must stem from something or it might end up being a biological issue. Either way to tell your boyfriend is a tough thing to do. It's difficult because you're left with feeling that you have an obligation to tell certain people because they have a right to know. Consider this, trust or not to hear that someone close to you is considering suicide can be heart shattering.

 

Again I don't mean to sound scary or negative here, but the truth and forthcoming nature of the situation won't guarantee that this won't happen considering the gravity of such an option and especially when the other person really cares for you. As part of having experience I've seen what telling people can do. I've had ex gf's breakdown and lost friends. I have to realize that I did that regardless of whether or not I meant to hurt them. That's hard to deal with and I think it's important to note here that realizing you need to address something here is more important than changing relationships with those closest to you by telling them what you thought about doing to yourself.

 

It's like cheating for those who commit infidelity. Chances are good you're going to really hurt the person that loves you most and you may very well lose them, trust or not. Now if you have thoughts about cheating do you tell your partner about it? I mean that analogously to why you would feel the need to tell them, not will you or not. The point I was trying to make here though is that you're taking a risk either way, but I think the bigger risk is doing nothing about what brought you here and not addressing that vs potentially hurting those closest to us by revealing something possibly devastating.

 

I hope this helps clear things up for you,

Cheers.

[sombersun]

I think you should talk to a therapist and ask about getting on some kind of anti-depressants.

Do both though...you need talk therapy if your family is wearing you down.

And you should talk to your BF and your family.

Relax!

 

I also like this book...

 

link removed

[HeartGoesOn]

That's called "tunnel vision", which is a symptom of clinical depression.

 

Tell your boyfriend, and there is no shame in getting treatment, as it's an illness just like any other physical illness.

 

Take care...

[Firiel]

*sigh* I'll probably tell him. I know he'll still accept me... I just don't want to worry the poor guy. I'm putting him through enough. I probably won't tell my family. They'll blame my boyfriend and make the whole mess worse. I know it's serious, and I know suicide is a bad idea. I'm talking to a counselor at my school because of all of the stress and anxiety I'm facing right now. I don't want to get on anti-depressants, though. I've seen my mom's dependency on prescription drugs, and it's a path I personally want to avoid.

 

Thanks, guys.