update for those who now my situation

[lil_unique_me]

ive posted a couple of posts about this problem but i have not for a quer all barriers thrcouple of weeks now.

i am curently 15 but i am in love with a 22 year old- he may be too old for me but shouldnt love conquer all barriers that are theown in the way???

Any way so i saw him again and tried desperatly to get his phone number but he kept telling me to stop being so obvious and that only people with low self esteem and people that are easy are so obvious. but before this he was giving me all these comeon signs and trying to kiss me and everything.

hes finishing uni in 3 months and is coming home and will also be coming into my house so what do i do??? do i try and pursue him?or leave it and live in misery for the rest of my life???

ive already started to self harm again- i stopped but now ive started again because of this- im just so frustrated.

please plase try to help me before it takes over my whole life- i already lie awake at night and cry myself to sleep because of it.

Help me please.

Catie xxx 0X

[Athena]

I'm concerned about his intentions. Fact of the matter is that when people care about one another for all the right reasons, they want the world to know about it.

 

Obviously he is making you feel bad - that is huge red flag that he is not being honest. When we are with people we love, they make us feel good about ourselves, not bad - I promise you that.

 

It may seem as though another "love" ( and I use that term loosely with this guy because I am not convinced that he loves you) will never come again, but I'd bet everything I have that you will love again and more importantly you will love someone who loves you BACK.

 

It's not emotionally normal for a 22 year old man to fall in love with a 15 years old girl. It's likely that he is just interested in sex. Ther is too much maturity difference at that age. He's got something in mind for you - but it's not loving you.

 

He has good reason for not wanting you to be obvious because if you were to do what he has in mind, he would be arrested. If he really is in love with you, talk with him about a relationship that does not include sex until you are 18. That way there is no reason for him to fear everyone knowing that you are togther.

 

-A

[cochise]

Catie, please please please leave this guy alone. He is just leading you on because you are a boost to his ego. He is right about one thing though, practically begging someone to like you is not attractive. You shouldn't have to do that. Like Athena said, feeling sad and engaging in self-destructive behavior is not a good sign! I can guarantee you this guy does not have good intentions. As far as being in misery for the rest of your life? Trust me, I know you feel that way now, but I've been there, and when you look back on this five years from now this will mean nothing to you. I'm sure you've probably heard this before, but it is so true, I promise you. I'm going to say something, and I don't want you to take it the wrong way, but I don't think what you need right now is a boyfriend. You seem to have issues with self-esteem, and you should work on those first. Try working on you relationships with your girlfriends and do things that will help you feel more confident, like focusing on school. In the long run, you will be grateful you did. You have to be happy by yourself. Don't expect others to do this for you, it doesn't work that way. When you are happy, others will naturally flock to you--the right kind of people will be drawn to you, not the kind that will take advantage of someone who is down. I wish you the best!