How Can I Find Someone New?

[ilovethatgirl]

The thought occurred to me that what I miss most about my ex wasn't HER specifically. It was that feeling if truly connecting with someone, not just a few dates but a serious relationship (well - what she led me to believe was a serious relationship), and what I really miss are the I-love-you's and the honeys and the you-make-me-so-happy's and all that stuff that stereotypically is supposed to make guys cringe. I have two questions, then - 1), is it healthy or emotionally sound for me to find someone else right now, and 2) at my age so very few people are looking for more than to increase their social status by dating the hottest member of the opposite sex... how can I possibly find someone looking for the same thing as me, AND that I can, you know, relate to and etc?

[SapphireNoir10]

If your over your ex then by all means start looking for someone.

 

However you shouldnt NEED that attention and love. You have to be happy by yourself and in yourself first.

 

There are plenty of people out there looking for what you are looking for.

[Tru_Justice]

If you can first learn to be happy with yourself, that's the beginning dynamic you need to be happy with someone else first.

[catfeeder]

For you to be capable of distinguishing the state you miss from the person demo's that you're insightful and self-aware. Ehm... well beyond your age. I don't know too many adults in their 30s and upward who are able to recognize such a thing.

 

That's the good news, yet I'm sorry to point this out, but there's a rub to it. In case you haven't noticed, intelligence can be a lonely place.

 

This doesn't make you a freak or something, it just means that your tolerance for typical superficiality isn't likely very high. This can make you easily bored with people. This can make your search for great compatibility a bit longer and harder than it is for most--but if you know that going in, you won't compare yourself with others and believe that you come up short.

 

Keep your mind open and your standards high, and be confident that there are others who are looking for the same thing you are--only at your age not all will know it yet. Hang in there (and may the force be with you).

 

In your corner.

[ghost69]

The thought occurred to me that what I miss most about my ex wasn't HER specifically. It was that feeling if truly connecting with someone, not just a few dates but a serious relationship (well - what she led me to believe was a serious relationship), and what I really miss are the I-love-you's and the honeys and the you-make-me-so-happy's and all that stuff that stereotypically is supposed to make guys cringe. I have two questions, then - 1), is it healthy or emotionally sound for me to find someone else right now, and 2) at my age so very few people are looking for more than to increase their social status by dating the hottest member of the opposite sex... how can I possibly find someone looking for the same thing as me, AND that I can, you know, relate to and etc?

 

get out there an meet new people.