Need to vent - Why, WHY is she so dumb?

[Balbina]

*Warning - Long Post*

 

I've always had a bit of a difficult relationship with my sister and have been pretty much steering clear of getting too involved in her chaotic, drama-ridden life. Refer to previous posts - background: she's honestly crazy - she has anger management issues, she hangs with the wrong crowd, she has no self respect and she literally devotes her entire life to losers and partying. Shes manipulative and mean and thus, I stay away.

 

Anyway, shes still my sister, so while I don't go out of my way to hang out with her, I can't really avoid her at home, or ignore her.

 

So she's been "seeing" this guy who was a good friend of mine, for the past year. I use the world seeing lightly because all they do is have sex and go out of their way to tell everyone they're single. He used to be my friend before he started using my sister for sex. So after a couple of months of that drama, I stayed away because what can you do when you see someone waste their entire life trying to get a guy to notice them only to tell everyone around them that they "don't care, - we're not dating". Its ridiculous.

 

Of course, there's a lot more to it and you'd have to understand the full scope and the lengths they go to to be completely surrounded by drama. Him going out with girls because he "can"; my sister ignoring him so he can pursue her and when she gets the attention she brags that she "wins".

 

Anyway, he came to my house 2 nights ago. His voice sounded different and he walked right into my house (ahem?) calling my name, so I was confused and came to the front hall. He sat down in my room and told me to wait with him for my sister to come home, so I did because I had nothing better to do. He starts telling me about his job, and how he is planning on moving to ______ in 6 months. This is a huge topic apparently between him and Paulina and he's going on about how he has nothing to stay here for anyway.

 

Baiting, I know. So I asked him "What about my sister?"

Him: "What about your sister? We're not dating, she knows I'm leaving and I don't care about anything beyond that"

Me: "Ok"

Him: Your sister, she's fracking crazy. Seriously.

Me: "Uh huh"

He, in an arrogant tone, no less, recounts their fight that weekend. She was over at his house after work (as she is EVERY night for the past year) and he flipped out on her that he "doesn't have to spend every minute of his life with her" and that "he's going out". She snaps, he leaves. Apparently she calls back the next day to apologize.

Him: "Your sister is pathetic. Once she has a guy she latches on and won't let go. She is the type of girl that if I were to spit on her face today, she would come crawling back tomorrow"

Me: ... "Well, you knew she had those exact same issues with her ex when you got involved with her"

Him: "I don't care. We're not dating. Honestly, sometimes I'm a d!ck to her, just to see how far I can push it. Like, I'm not an a$$hole, I just want to see how much she actually allows, and she lets me treat her like SHEET!

(This I know of course, but I can't believe he said it)

 

Then my sister and her girlfriend came home. My sister was moody and pissed off that I was sitting with him (shes crazy jealous) and starts acting rude. He's rude right back, she takes it.

 

A while goes by then he goes:

"Omg, funniest thing happened! the super gave my key to the maintainace to fix our bathtub and this morning this guy walked into my house, right past my open bedroom and stopped and stared!"

"Were you sleeping?"

Him: "No, we were having sex." with a smug look on his face as he looks at my sister.

 

For a guy who goes out of his way to tell the world they're not dating, that he doesn't give a crap about her, that he treats her like garbage to see how much he can get away with ... well that last one explains it, but I was shocked at his audacity.

 

I got up and left.

 

I didn't want to get involved but I decided that frankly, I value his friendship as much as he values my sister and I don't give a crap about him. So I told my sister. Everything.

 

She seemed upset, shocked, said she was going to ignore him. Then she starts making excuses. She's ignoring his calls. She plans on writing him a letter. She won't confront him. I have a feeling things will be back to normal in a weeks time.

 

When the girl is THAT stupid, what CAN you do?

 

The next time he comes to my house I want to confront him with her there, about the things he said. Is there anything else to be done? I don't want him anywhere near my house.

[Mythical_Suicide]

It isn't your problem, it is your sisters I wouldn't get involved. If your sister chooses to live such a careless life and wrap herself around losers there isn't much you can say or do to change that and confronting both of them will just cause more drama in YOUR life.

[Balbina]

It isn't your problem, it is your sisters I wouldn't get involved. If your sister chooses to live such a careless life and wrap herself around losers there isn't much you can say or do to change that and confronting both of them will just cause more drama in YOUR life.

 

I know you're right. And I normally do NOT get involved. I just couldn't stand his nerve at saying those things to me. Ironically, its like he knew that saying those things to me wouldn't really matter because she'd "come crawling back" anyway.

 

Thanks for the reply. I need to detach myself.

[confused25]

Ew this guy sounds like a total a$$hole!

 

You've done your part, now it's up to your sister. She's gonna do whatever she wants. I went through that last year with one of my best friends. She eventually realized that the guy she was with really didn't give two sh!ts about her, but it took her a while.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

You told your sister and the rest is up to her. Next time this guy wants to talk to you tell him you are not interested. He is a creep.

[Balbina]

Ew this guy sounds like a total a$$hole!

 

You've done your part, now it's up to your sister. She's gonna do whatever she wants. I went through that last year with one of my best friends. She eventually realized that the guy she was with really didn't give two sh!ts about her, but it took her a while.

 

This is the second guy this is happening with.

 

The first guy she was with for 4 years on and off. He was her first and he was a total loser. He would spend all of his money on expensive clothes and he was a bouncer who loved to have authority. He would party a lot and use her for money. He would drop hints that he wanted something and she would buy it - trips to different cities, ski suits and ski boots, expensive jackets ($600+), etc etc etc. She FINALLY got over him it seemed and then three months later her and my friend had sex to "get their sexual frustration out of the way".

 

It just bothers me because she IS my sister and while I don't get involved I can't help but be frustrated or pissed at her stupidity. I don't like talking to her about anything because her life is so messed up. And I don't know why, but I thought that MAYBE this would be the final straw for her to realize what shes doing with her life.

[Balbina]

So my sister approached me to proof read a letter she wrote to him...and I have to say I'm really surprised with what she's written and with the things she seems to have realized.

 

She seems to really be serious about cutting it off and getting him out of her life. Of course, you can tell that she doesn't REALLY want it to be over, but that how he's treated her has gone on too long. I really do hope that she gives him the letter and that it is actually over. If it is, then it is a HUGE step forward.

 

I know you all told me not to meddle, but the fact that my sister of all people is starting to see things clearly is really uplifting to me - keep your fingers crossed!