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For the Virgins (No Offence intended!)


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Specifically, this is for the virgins that are >20 years old, and much older...


I remember a time when I thought exactly EXACTLY the same thoughts as most of you. I was depressed, in despair, feeling like getting rejected all the time, feeling a lack of confidence talking to girls, trying to blame my family for the traits they instilled in me, blaming everything...basically...and feeling I'd die a virgin and be the sorest loser ever...(this was exacerbated by a girl who cheated on me early on in a relationship and losing a coveted internship in NYC at the SAME TIME in college).


I was 19 at the time. Guess what? Almost 2 years have past, and I survived, and have had more than a couple fufilling sexual relationship.


I am not saying it was easy. No it was hard, but eventually rejections got easier, and I just talked to more and more girls.


So, you'll be fine, trust me! GO for the nice girls!


You also can't sit on your ass and do nothing! Each person is in a special situation, and must be caterd to individually. Whether it being able to talk, demeanor, how u dress, etc etc...you have to figure it out for urself!


For EXAMPLE...for me, location and the type of women was also a big factor. For too long I've been attracted to the stereotypical WASP girl from suburbia that made up most of my high school and college, but they were never interested in me.


Some were prohibited from dating outside their race (i'm east asian), and some were because of religion (i'm not the same religion), and frankly, the jerk ones also believe in stereotypes.


Then i started meeting nice girls who were a lot more compatible. (I love to travel, and have lived in 5 countries and speak 4 languages, and also studied abroad.) So, I hit it off with the, on average, more open-minded European ladies and Latin Americans ladies right away...

and the rest is self explanatory...


So the moral of the story is: know thyself,

While Frat boys types and jerks may get the most action here, i GUARANTEE you, since I and hundred of fellow students had witnessed overseas in Europe and Asia...they get next to nothing and lose out to the nice, intelligent ones...


So, its my job to convert people to stop worshipping Frat boys and jerks here (broad generalization, but you KNOW its more often true than not with younger people)


I'm in no way a dating expert, so don't pepper me with questions. I am FAR from smooth and super confident, but its better than before!

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I've dated men from all kinds of backgrounds and ethnicities, but it is only men who are of my basic background and ethnicity that "get" me. We know how the other thinks and our parents did so many things the same way. Friends I have in all ages, shapes, colors, and religions. But lovers have to be similar to me or it never works. I just keep getting hurt or misunderstood. I think that holds true for most people when they decided to settle down for life. The more you have in common, the better marriage you will have.

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yo, yeah, nothing wrong with likeness!


My parents believe in the same way as you do, but they're also around the same age as you are. They think I'd prob end up with an asian girl and would have less problems to deal with. Perhaps they're right, but I wouldn't care if the girl was black/white/asian/latina/indian/arab...(I said I liked white girls, but i've also had crushes and asked out/been with all of the above) as long as they fit my 'type'...which has a pretty relaxed definition...and isn't my complete polar opposite!


Personally I think from my experience there is significant overlap between cultures and "races" of my generation, not to mention the individual (meaning, we are somewhat different, but also really similar). I love new cultures. I find that exciting...but not everyone can be like me. Most small town folks in North American aren't that open, pure and simple, no matter their ethnicity. My grandparents won't be happy with what I say either...but hey, its my life!


thereforee when I hit it off its mostly with Europeans (success rate with them has been 4-5 times better than locals), cuz perhaps they come from less parochial, smaller countries, they are more open-minded or like-minded in some aspects. Besides...European girls ARE NOT a bad deal! They dress killer, are on average a lot less fat as they age (I think I pissed off people here with this one, but its true according to the WHO and your local news), are just as sexy and perhaps more feminine in comparison to the girls here with similar looks (MY OPINION: who are a tad more stuckup). Of course, there are racists and bigots and sweet nice people everywhere.


But I guess...going BACK to my original point...figure out ur environment, and know urself, and then look for solutions rather than obstacles...and you won't worry about being a virgin. A lot IS about inner self-improvement...but lets be realistic and empirical here...OTHER factors do matter!!!


Pour ceux qui viennent des autres pays, tu sais je dis la verite quand je parle d'ici!

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Sex is overrated! Expecially among men. All those things are way too complicated anyway. I don't feel like better person, because I have had sex. It's like romantic dinner: you do it because it makes you feel good and it's a way to express your love. It's not the same if your not in love: it's like eating bad food.


Anyway..Dont worry, be happpy!! You never know what will happen!

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Yeah, hey, sorry if I sounded like I'm putting pressure or anything...


the above poster is right. Your first time should mean something...at least in my books.


My point is that you shouldn't just resign yourself to being a hermit, but go out there and try to meet the one thats compatible, thats all.

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I have found something similar. It is very good to take the time to get to know yourself. I have found that I do very well in larger cities, prefer online dating, and can easily date women outside of my ethnicity. A lot of women I was attracted to when I was younger weren't the right match for me anyhow. A lot of it has to do with recognizing when you have found a good match. It is very definitely a numbers game.


I match well with women who are intelligent, affectionate, passionate, and direct/open with their communications. I probably wouldn't have understood that a few years ago.

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My boyfriend is in a fraternity, but his fraternity is NOTHING like is shown in movies. It has the highest GPA out of all 22 frats at his school, they are known as the gentleman of the campus. They have 3 hr study sessions twice a week, and mandatory meeting every monday. They don't do crazy parties, and lots of them don't drink and alot are even virgins. Over half of them are in fufilling healthy relatioships, and they are all round about guys. The academics are over everything. They do things like go camping together, play games and having little get togethers vs. wild parties, drinking binges, and talking about escapades and hooking up.


My boyfriend is the FARTHEST thing from a "frat boy" yet it in one.


Don't generalize it. I was very against him when he said he wanted to be in one, but seeing it for what it is, and what a good guy he and his friends are and how happy he is in it, makes me feel happy. He's very shy, he needed to make friends somehow.


The typical generalized "frat boy" is guys I can't STAND to be around.

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