Am I being weird?

[jul-els]

Hello,

 

There is a girl I work with you in the past has shown many signs of interest in me. Despite being extremely attracted to her physically, I have not reciprocated much because all the signs seem to be telling me it's probably not a good idea. Here's why:

 

The first time she ever showed interest in me (by coming up to me while I was at the jukebox at a bar and dancing with me very suggestively) was while I was in a commited relationship. Completely not cool in my book.

 

Secondly, when she found out I was breaking up with my gf, she immediately started coming to my desk and chatting me up on a daily basis. The first remark she made when I told her I was breaking up was, "So, you'll have plenty of room to stretch out in that bed, eh?". I was heartbroken over this relationship and nowhere near ready to consider anyone for dating potential. I had much healing to do. While of course what she said wasn't bad, it showed me a complete disregard for any consideration of what I might have been going through at the time even though I told her I still cared about my girlfriend. That's a huge turn-off for me.

 

Thirdly, very shortly after my breakup was complete I met her and some other co-workers at a bar over the weekend. After her expressing so much interest, I was open to the idea of this being a chance for us to get to know each other a little better outside of the workplace. Well, she got completely trashed and left the bar with some other dude. My recent breakup had been due to my mate having a serious drinking problem that I tried to help her with. I think it's pretty clear to see how this interaction was again another red flag for me.

 

On another occasion, I had gone out with her and another co-worker for a drink after work. After being there awhile I was a little buzzed and I suggested that just her and I go to my neighborhood and have another drink there. She agreed. Well, I invited her into my house and she accepted and then just used the restroom and left. I figured this would be another chance for us to get to know each other outside of work, so I thought it was kind of odd that she didn't want to hang out after showing me so many signs of interest at work.

 

Another reason I don't think it would work out well is she drinks a fair amount and I have pretty much given it up for the most part.

 

So, because of all this I decided it wasn't a situation I was going to pursue. In the months that have passed since then I feel a strange vibe from her when she passes my desk. I think it's because I don't always acknowledge her every time she walks by. She has to walk by in order to enter or exit as does everyone in the company and I can't take the time to acknowledge every single person every time they go by. I have work to do. It's not practical. It's not like I don't ever acknowledge her, I do. I make a point to say good morning and good night to her and others on a regular basis. Just not everyone everytime. I've got a job to do.

 

I also make attempts to have conversations with her when I can. She has dropped subtle hints to me that I think are weird. Once she said because one of the other workers in the office never said hi to her that "he had no social skills". And the last time I spoke with her she said things in the office "are getting weird". I have no idea what she's referring to by that, but I think that comment is weird.

 

She is a very beautiful woman with many suitors and I think she is a bit annoyed that I wouldn't do whatever it took to be with her. But I have my reasons and I have decided it's a no go. I don't believe in office relationships and I'm definitely not going to risk my job in today's economy for a fling. Not worth it to me at all.

 

So, what do you think, am I being "weird"?

[Sn0man]

Nope, you're not being weird at all. I think what you're doing and how you're going about it is very mature and rational.

[catfeeder]

No, you're not weird. You have self-respect. The girl sounds as though she can't handle it when her manipulations don't work. Usually people who haven't been humbled enough try to make it about other people.

 

I'd play this 'stupid and cheerful' and never take the bait. I wouldn't acknowledge a thing about yourself by reading into her comments or her intentions--ever. Be like teflon.

 

I also agree with you about never fishing off the company pier for relationships. I've seen the consequences people have suffered, and what a way to poison your life every. single. workday.

 

Head high.

 

In your corner.

[jul-els]

No, you're not weird. You have self-respect. The girl sounds as though she can't handle it when her manipulations don't work. Usually people who haven't been humbled enough try to make it about other people.

 

I'd play this 'stupid and cheerful' and never take the bait. I wouldn't acknowledge a thing about yourself by reading into her comments or her intentions--ever. Be like teflon.

 

I also agree with you about never fishing off the company pier for relationships. I've seen the consequences people have suffered, and what a way to poison your life every. single. workday.

 

Head high.

 

In your corner.

 

Good points. Thanks, CF.