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Knowing they aren't the one, but missing them so much

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Knowing what I know, how bad he was to me, I wonder why I miss my ex. It's been two months since the break-up, and almost two weeks since I've last seen him, and it's not memories or experiences I'm recalling. It's this feeling I have. A feeling that would get me in trouble, since I know, while he's the one that broke things off, he still would honor all of my requests to hear from me.


I have a date scheduled for Friday with someone new. And I think I may have moved to soon. I don't want to feel jaded or cynical, with a guard completely up, but I do. I feel like "Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" had it right...zap it all away, poof, and I wouldn't have to be in this situation of longing for someone who isn't the same person I fell in love with. Sure time heals all wounds...but it's strange to me this place. One day I'm all good, the next is another story.


All of prior relationships...it's feeling bad for a while, then moving on...


Why is this healing process so different?

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I feel like I am wasting time also, but what if I hurt someone because I rushed into something? That would not be good. I am over three months out and I miss her. I know it will take a long time because of how much I cared for her.


Don't beat yourself up over caring for someone who hurt you in the end. Shutting off feelings would be great if it were possible, but it is not so we allow time to work its magic. Have fun on your date just don't keep it casual it is only one date.

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Ha...that is a good point! I guess I'm kinda of tired of people asking me "how I'm doing" and not in a general sense. And others asking about him, then apologizing like it's a horrible thing they've brought up. Well, I know it's because they care about me considering how he ended things was pretty bad. I really just want to get back to the time life was all good and dandy...pre-ex! While sure I had plenty of new and great life experiences with him, life before was pretty fricken good.

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