john4321 Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 am i crazy for not giving up on my ex, we were together for over 20 years and have been spit for almost 2, but i still know there. we have both worked on ourselves and the barriers that got in the way before are long gone on my side. she comes close to getting back together but pulls back at the last minute. how do i do this, i know we belong together, i know i know her better than anybody ever could, and i know i could take care of her better that anybody else. i miss her and love her, but when do you give up, when do you let the best thing in your life go, need help Link to comment
littlestar Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 Is there hope of reconciliation? Have you spoken to her and tried to work things out? Link to comment
KrayzieBeautiful Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 I don't think your crazy at all. Letting go in my opinion is not giving up. It's just letting go of any expectations and learning to live your life regardless of if she is in it or not. If she keeps pulling back you probably just need to give her some space. But in saying that you shouldn't be allowing her to come and go when she pleases. This is probably one of the reasons she keeps pulling back, because she knows you will keep following when she does. I think you should spend some time apart so she can work out what it is she really wants. Link to comment
wtm78 Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 am i crazy for not giving up on my ex, we were together for over 20 years and have been spit for almost 2, but i still know there. we have both worked on ourselves and the barriers that got in the way before are long gone on my side. she comes close to getting back together but pulls back at the last minute. how do i do this, i know we belong together, i know i know her better than anybody ever could, and i know i could take care of her better that anybody else. i miss her and love her, but when do you give up, when do you let the best thing in your life go, need help i dont think it is being crazy... it is difficult to let go of a relationship that you have invested heavily on... especially so for a relationship as long as 20 years.. everyone has a different capacity of letting go... some takes a few days.. some a few months.. some a few years.. i think you just have to go easy on yourself.. let life unfold itself rather trying to make things out of guess what the future will be... take a day by itself... of course you do plan for the future.. what i am saying is.. dont limit what the future holds.. it may be different from what you have expected.. but it will definitely be better that today... hang in there buddy... Link to comment
foreverzero9 Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 Of course it isn't crazy ^-^. When the moments you shared are that memorable and important, i'd say its more crazy to just give up. Link to comment
john4321 Posted December 17, 2008 Author Share Posted December 17, 2008 thank you all for your support, i just wanted to make sure i am not just crazy, the love i feel for her is incredible, i know i need to let it unfold and let life take its course, not push her, but doing nothing does not seem to help either. i am just so glad there are people out there who understand. and yes i probably need to settle down and not be there every time she calls. it just so hard especially since i know we could be happy this time around. but maybe space is needed. it just kills you when you finally fix yourself and rid yourself of the things that got in the way, and want to share it with the one you love, and you cannot. thank you all again Link to comment
john4321 Posted December 17, 2008 Author Share Posted December 17, 2008 they say things are darkest before the dawn, but the entire story is not told. as the bright red star we call the sun sends it's first sliver of light above the horizon, to illuminate the colors of the day,the blue sky ablazed with red and orange, the green trees and grass, the colors of the rainbow in the flowers, and the light to see the one you love.that is the story that must be told. it is the darkness that steals away the things we hold dearest, it is the light that gives them back. so while things may be darkest before the dawn, hold on, the light is on the way, and the ones we love will be there in the light, and what the darkness took from you will be revealed, and you life will be whole again. endure the darkness for what the light brings is greater than anything you will ever know. embrace the light and the the sun, it is what brings us life. embrace the day and the time you have in the light, for life is short and we cannot let the darkness steal away what we need most, and that is love........something i wrote for my own inpiration Link to comment
KrayzieBeautiful Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 that was beautiful. Link to comment
john4321 Posted December 17, 2008 Author Share Posted December 17, 2008 thank you very much......i went through a journey of darkness that costs me the women i love, with help i was able to find myself and put the darkness behind me, i am my old self again, the person she fell in love with. i want to share this with her so badly, to share my life with her, to take care of her and spend the rest of my life making sure we are both happy, but i am afraid it may be too late, and that is so very sad. that is my problem now and why i was asking what i did. thanks again for your kind words Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 Have you asked her if she's willing to go to counseling with you? She needs to be willing to work on the relationship in a active way with goals towards that end, otherwise you may be in a position where she is just stringing you along while she looks for someone she likes better. You may have immense love for her, but if she refuses to be in a relationship wtih you, eventually you need to accept that you deserve someone who does love you AND want to be with you. So try to get her to go to counseling with you with a plan to work on getting back together. If she refuses, she is not serious about getting back together with you. Link to comment
john4321 Posted December 17, 2008 Author Share Posted December 17, 2008 thank you for that, we both have done individual counseling, has helped us both. we have both grown so much, i know it has done wonders for me, it did release from a darkness that had come over me, but i had to do the work. i do not know if asking that now would be right, but it is a good suggestion, i thank you. i just need to know it is ok to still hope, to know i am not crazy after all these years, that it is worth fighting for. i know it is but it is nice to hear from other people with support so i know i am not alone, and hear from people on where i should go from here and how to handle it. thanks again for the support. all suggestion are appreciated Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 it is not necessarily crazy to hang on waiting for years and years, but it can be if you neglect getting your needs to chase after someone who is showing no signs of getting back together with you. Hope alone won't bring a relationship back, so you have to decide what you are giving up to keep hoping, and whether she seriously would consider getting back together or not. It is crazy waiting for something that surely won't come, so you need to really make sure that getting back together is a possibility, otherwise putting your efforts into someone who wants to be with you would make more sense. Link to comment
john4321 Posted December 17, 2008 Author Share Posted December 17, 2008 thank you and that is true, it really has not been that long where i though about it like this. i couldn't i had to be "fixed" first if you know what i mean. now that is why i was wondering how crazy it is and how long i should wait. i know it is a decision i can only make, because you are right you cannot wait forever. thank you for reminding me of that Link to comment
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