Is she for real??? I need advice please...!!

[littlestar]

Most of you know my story on here but for the benefit of those who dont, or those who can't remember i will give you a quick recap.

 

It's nothing new that i am on day 62 of NC and struggling.

 

I had an affair with a man who turned out to be abusive and violent. I ended things with him. My friend got involved who is 30 years both my senior and his senior. She spread some nasty UNTRUE rumours about me to him that helped lead to the split.

 

She also spread some rather nasty and UNTRUE rumours to my family about me - some were true, what she had told them about the affair i was having, but there was a lot of stuff she added that was complete LIES.

 

She went to my then boyfriend and told him i was having an affair - and also added a few untrue lies as well.

 

She tried to get my then bf and the guy i was having an affair with to "fight" each other. She would go to my bf and say "Mr Affair" wanted to beat him up (all untrue) and then she would go to "Mr Affair" and say "my bf" wanted to beat him up (all untrue)

 

Her goal was to get me away from Mr Affair so she could have him all to herself. Little did she know Mr Affair who is 25 years old would be using her who is 54 years old to try to get information about me.

 

When i ended things with Mr Affair, i ended contact with her as well (that was 62 days ago) i have no room in my life for people like her and him.

 

My Dad still speaks to her (as we live around the corner from each other) and she asked my Dad how i was the other day. And then just now Dad had spoken to her while walking and she asked again how i was, and then she said that she misses me and the times we spent together. Then she said to Dad she isnt sorry for the rumours she spread as she thought she was doing the right thing by me......She thought everyone had a right to know about the affair - ok fair enough about that but what about the lies she told???

 

* * * ??????????????

 

Can she be for real? If she was truly my friend, she may decide to tell the TRUTH but not tell lies!!!!!!!

 

What is it with her? I am really frustrated and it's not doing much to help my healing over the ex.

 

Someone please give me some advice....What are your thoughts??

 

 

She misses me!!! Sure she does!!!! Maybe she should've thought of that BEFORE she betrayed me, caused trouble and spread untrue crap about me.

 

I wonder if Mr Affair has "dumped" her considering she hasnt got hardly any info on me, so she was no use to him. Might be the reason for her "missing" me all of a sudden.

[waveseer]

She was just laying it on thick for your dad.

[diamond78]

She was just laying it on thick for your dad.

 

Yep...sounds like she was buttering him up, so that she can help:

 

1) minimize her guilt in what she's done and 2) to get him on her good side, so she can use him for future tidbits about you.

 

 

Are you still with your boyfriend? and does she have access to him as well as Mr. Affair?

[littlestar]

Yep...sounds like she was buttering him up, so that she can help:

 

1) minimize her guilt in what she's done and 2) to get him on her good side, so she can use him for future tidbits about you.

 

 

Are you still with your boyfriend? and does she have access to him as well as Mr. Affair?

 

I am no longer with the bf or Mr A - and she has access to them both.

[diamond78]

I am no longer with the bf or Mr A - and she has access to them both.

 

 

I wouldn't touch her with a 10-foot pole. Those types of people never stop their meddling. Believe me, she thoroughly enjoyed outing you out to both guys and to your family.

 

Continue on with your NC that you have in place with her. Not talking to her and not having your personal business out in the street is the best way to deal with that type of person.

[littlestar]

I wouldn't touch her with a 10-foot pole. Those types of people never stop their meddling. Believe me, she thoroughly enjoyed outing you out to both guys and to your family.

 

Continue on with your NC that you have in place with her. Not talking to her and not having your personal business out in the street is the best way to deal with that type of person.

 

thanks for the advice, i will never take her back into my life, she caused this trouble for another couple and they were married - she makes a habbit of doing things like this. She got kicked out of their place, and now a year or so on, they're "Friends" again, i wonder how long it will last.

[Syntax1985]

Whether or not you can justify her actions as correcting your wrongs, i truly doubt that was her intentions, just a nice after effect mask she's created. people like that dont wake up and say "im going to correct a problem today", there extreme passive attention seekers, for a while she was in the middle of alot of drama and felt in control, thats what these type of people like.

 

Unfortunately she is "for real" lol. "for real" messed up.

 

im with Diamond and your current conclusion, stay away from her, shes not your mother, shes not your guardian angel, and she certainly isnt your friend. she has no right meddling with your affairs no matter what they are.